


Kill, Smile

by iamagraveyard



Series: Kill, Smile [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blood, Blow Job, Choking, Contract killing, Dom/sub, Drug Addiction, Drug Dealer, Drugs, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time Bottoming, First Time Sex, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Frerard, Gang, Gun Violence, Guns, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Mentions of self-harm, Murder, Murder for Hire, Murderer, Rimming, Slash, Slow Burn, Smut, Stockholm Syndrome, Violence, eventual Frerard, hostage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-02-18 08:03:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21940876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamagraveyard/pseuds/iamagraveyard
Summary: Frank Iero is a drug dealer in L.A. and Gerard Way is a contract killer who’s been hired to take him out.(The title is a lyric from “Sound Effects and Over Dramatics” by The Used.)
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Series: Kill, Smile [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693741
Comments: 45
Kudos: 163





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [10rings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/10rings/gifts).



> For my best friend and my biggest fan, [10rings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/10rings/pseuds/10rings) <3

“I got a job for you,” Mason says, eyeing the man sitting across from him at the dining table in the kitchen of his Hollywood Hills mansion. The large French doors on the other side of the room are open, letting in the humid California air from the backyard. The occasional high pitched giggle comes from a few young, bikini-clad women who are splashing around in the expansive pool outside. There’s a sealed Manila envelope on the table directly in front of Mason and he toys with its edges as he speaks.

The man sitting across from Mason is called Gerard Way, and he’s smugly dragging on a half-burned cigarette as he sits comfortably in his chair with his right boot-clad foot resting upon his left knee. Gerard is dressed in his usual all-black attire: a fitted black T-shirt underneath a black leather jacket, tight black jeans, black combat boots and fingerless black leather gloves. This choice of dress serves multiple purposes to the thirty-something contract killer: it hides the blood stains, helps him remain unseen when he’s stalking around in the shadows at night and it makes him look dangerous as hell which is kind of his aesthetic.

Gerard narrows his eyes slightly at the big-time drug dealer who’s sitting across from him. Mason has a menacing appearance, especially to those who don’t know him: he’s a bulky, middle-aged man with a few face tattoos, a four-inch scar across his left cheek and a diamond grill covering his top four front teeth. He’s been in the business for nearly two decades and has a strong reputation for violence. Mason has had Gerard kill for him many times before but he still has his two large bodyguards standing on either side of the exit door, just in case things were to turn sour...

“Figured as much,” Gerard says, leaning forward momentarily to tap his cigarette off in the ashtray on the table. “So, who is this piece of shit? Is he big-time?” Gerard asks.

Mason doesn’t reply at first, just slides the Manila envelope across the table towards Gerard and at that, Gerard stubs out his cigarette and opens up the envelope, beginning to read the documents inside while Mason speaks.

“Nah, definitely not big-time. His name’s Frank Iero. He’s one of the street dealers I have working for me, mostly sells to rich douchebags at nightclubs around L.A.,” Mason says. “He’s really fuckin’, uhh...baby.”

Gerard momentarily looks up from the papers in his hands. “ _Baby_?” he echoes, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, y’know, like ‘sweet,’ ‘adorable?’” Mason says with a dark chuckle. 

Gerard doesn’t know, and his brow furrows. “Why do you need him taken out?” he asks, returning his gaze downward as he studies the piece of paper which holds personal information about this Iero guy. Gerard needs all the details of what this guy has done in order get himself to emotionally antagonize his target—makes it easier for him to carry out the kill. He flips to the next page and is taken aback when he sees a photo of Frank that Mason’s P.I. had taken. “Wait, is this him? He looks so—“

“Baby?” Mason cuts in, smirking. “Yeah. I told you. He might look innocent, but he’s a fucking junkie, Gerard, and you should never trust one. He’s unreliable and sloppy and he’s costing me money by using the product. He’s been lying to me about it, but I have fucking proof that he‘s using it. Basically, he’s totally useless to me and is a huge liability. I can’t just let him walk away because he knows too damn much about this entire operation and I don’t trust him to not fuckin’ rat on me. I‘m not tryna get my ass locked again. That’s why he needs to go.” 

“He’s only...” Gerard looks down at the piece of paper again for reference, “...twenty-one. A kid, basically,” he says, and Mason sees the dangerous humanity showing in Gerard’s eyes when he looks up again.

“You want me to find someone else? I can find someone else,” Mason says impatiently, leaning forward in his seat. Mason’s voice sounds lower and more deliberate when he speaks again. “‘Cause I’m telling you right now: if I hire you and then you pussy-out on me, it’s gonna be your ass getting taken out next. Feelings get you killed in our line of work, Way. You know that.”

Gerard’s experienced enough to know that Mason isn’t bluffing right now and his own expression darkens. “I’ll fucking kill him,” he says coldly. “How much you offering?”

“Thirty grand,” Mason says casually, leaning back in his seat again. “Simple drive-by with a handgun—untraceable, obviously; you know the drill. No witnesses.”

Gerard nods. No matter how “baby” this Frank kid looks, Gerard really needs the money—not to mention he doesn’t really even have a choice in the matter when it comes to working for Mason...

“All right. Deal,” Gerard says and the two men shake hands on it.

“You get paid when he’s in the fuckin’ morgue and no sooner. And I want it done this week,” Mason says.

“You got it, boss.”

*

Frank’s practically buzzing as he leaves the nightclub, pushing his way through sweaty bodies towards the exit doors. His mind suddenly feels crowded without the pounding bass of the music drowning out his racing thoughts. He’s starting to come down from his high now and feels incredibly irritable. It’s always the worst part of the night for him, coming back down to reality. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a rolled joint and lights it—weed tends to make his comedown from the hard stuff a lot less unpleasant and balances him out a bit. It’s nearly four o’ clock in the morning and Frank is walking alone down the sketchy Los Angeles streets. He doesn’t really have friends anymore; he pushed them all away when he started dealing for Mason and subsequently fell in love with drugs. Frank knows he’s on a dangerously self-destructive path but he’s too depressed to do anything about it and feels powerless over his addiction. 

As Frank continues on, he notices an inconspicuous black car driving slowly just a little bit behind him and he instinctively speeds up his pace a little. The car doesn’t let up though and Frank’s getting even more irritated now, feeling as though this person is trying to intimidate him or something. He stops walking and turns around to face the car, which continues moving until it stops right next to him and the driver’s side window goes down. The man in the driver’s seat is wearing a black ski mask and Frank’s blood runs cold when he notices that there’s a handgun being pointed at him. His stomach begins churning and his heart is pounding out of his chest and he wants to run far the fuck away from here but he doesn’t want to get shot in the back of the head or something so he stays still and tries his hardest to remain calm—as best as he can with a gun being pointed at him. Frank is positive that this moment, right here, right now, is how he’s going to die, but then the man speaks.

“Get in the car. If you scream or run I’ll fucking kill you, so I’d advise against it,” the masked man says. He sounds oddly calm and it makes Frank even more terrified. 

Frank’s mind is racing still, trying to think of a way out of this situation, but it keeps coming up blank. It appears as though there’s no way out of this, so Frank reluctantly obliges and slowly walks around the front of the car to the passenger’s side door, with the barrel of the man’s gun following him as he walks. Frank opens the car door and slowly gets inside before shutting it behind him. He suddenly remembers the switchblade tucked inside his sock and racks his brain, trying to think of a way to quickly grab it and stab the fuck out of this guy. 

“What do you want with me?” Frank asks, his voice coming out high pitched, shaky and scared sounding. The man doesn’t answer. “Who sent you? Was it Mason?” 

“Shut your fucking mouth or I’ll shut it for you,” the masked man suddenly replies coldly. “You’re lucky you’re even still breathing, you know that?”

Frank swallows audibly and starts to feel sick all over again. He thinks that this guy is probably going to drive him to some secluded place and shoot him execution-style before burying his body or something. Or maybe, even worse, the man is going to rape him before killing him. The thought makes Frank start to cry. _What the fuck is this and where the fuck are we going?_ he wonders. He doesn’t dare utter another word of questions though for fear of getting shot point blank right here in the car. 

The man pulls a piece of black cloth out of his jacket pocket and Frank’s body tenses in fear as the blindfold is tied tightly over his eyes. Next, Frank feels his hands being roughly tied together behind his back with zap-straps which are entirely too tight and are cutting into his wrists. He doesn’t dare complain though, just whimpers quietly, knowing that the loaded handgun is still sitting in the man’s lap, ready to be used at any moment if he tries to resist. 

Frank feels the seatbelt being pulled across his chest and buckled, and then the car suddenly begins to move again. The man hums along to the radio as he drives and Frank wants to fucking throw up because this guy seems like an absolute sociopath. It feels like an hour before the car finally comes to a stop and the man turns off the engine. 

“Please don’t kill me,” Frank blurts out when he hears the man shuffling around next to him. Tears are flowing from his eyes but they’re being instantly absorbed by the blindfold covering them and it feels as though the pain he’s expressing is being instantly erased. He curses himself in his head for speaking, but he couldn’t help it: he’s fucking scared for his life and no matter how depressed he is, he really doesn’t want to die—not like this, at least. 

“I didn’t wanna have to do this, but—“ the man says, and suddenly Frank feels a piece of cloth being stuffed into his mouth, partially down his throat. “Remember that you did this to yourself.”

Frank tries to cough as the fabric irritates the back of his throat but he can’t and it’s insanely uncomfortable so he just keeps on sobbing. His nose is running now and he can feel the snot covering his upper lip but it’s the least of his worries.

Frank hears the man get out of the car and a few seconds later he hears the passenger’s side door being opened and the cool night air against his skin. The seatbelt is undone and then he feels himself being roughly dragged out of the car by the man’s firm grip on his upper right arm which he’s sure is going to leave a bruise. 

“Walk,” the man says firmly. So Frank walks. He feels the cool metal of the handgun digging into his lower spine as he blindly stumbles forward, lacking balance as his hands remain restrained behind his back.

Gerard honestly has no idea what the fuck he’s doing right now. He’s done murder for hire countless times before but for some reason this kid is getting to him, throwing him off his game. _I really should have just shot him in the street_ , Gerard thinks. The longer he waits, the harder it’s getting to muster up the will to finish the job. 

Gerard leads Frank inside of his home, still not knowing why the fuck he’s brought him here—he never kills where he lives as a hard rule to preserve his own sanity, so there’s really no reason to have this kid here unless he’s trying to get himself killed. This whole job is all wrong so far and Gerard is feeling frustrated that a kid he doesn’t even know is potentially costing him thirty grand and his fucking life. 

They get to the staircase leading to the upstairs of the house. “Stairs,” Gerard says simply, digging the gun harder into Frank’s lower back while guiding him up the wooden staircase. They make it up there and Gerard leads Frank into his bedroom. 

Gerard shoves Frank forward so that he’s lying face down on the king sized bed with his hands still tied behind his back. Frank tries to protest but it just comes out as muffled sobs—pretty sad sounding, Gerard thinks. Gerard tucks the barrel of the gun into the back of his tight, black jeans and pulls off the ski mask he’s wearing. He removes Frank’s shoes before reaching underneath the hostage’s body and undoing the button and zipper on his jeans. Frank begins to squirm around frantically, terrified as Gerard pulls his jeans all the way down his legs, leaving him in only his boxers. Frank then starts kicking his legs upwards, thinking Gerard is about to rape him, and almost catches Gerard in the jaw.

“Do that again and I’ll fucking hurt you. Badly,” Gerard says, and Frank instantly becomes still. Gerard notices that Frank’s T-shirt has ridden up his back a little and he sees some ink from a tattoo. He curiously pushes the fabric up to the middle of Frank’s back and he feels his breath catch in his throat suddenly. “Goddamn...” Gerard says under his breath, feeling horrified when he realizes he’s said it out loud. Frank has two handguns tattooed on each side of his lower back with the barrels crossing in the middle and pointing downward towards his asscrack. Gerard definitely had not been expecting to be this fucking turned on by a kid that he’s supposed to kill. He’s relieved that Frank can’t see him right now because the front of his jeans have gotten considerably tighter in the last few seconds.

Gerard tries to collect himself as he starts going through the pockets of Frank’s jeans. In the back pocket he finds a wallet which contains Frank’s driver’s license, a tiny bag of white ecstasy pills and some cash. He also finds a lighter and a pack of Marlboro cigarettes in the front pockets. He tosses his finds onto the bedside table and then proceeds to remove Frank’s socks. A black switchblade immediately falls out of Frank’s left sock and Gerard picks it up from the floor, unsurprised to find that Frank had been carrying a weapon. In Frank’s right sock he finds a tiny bag of small, yellow pills—opiates, it looks like.

Gerard reaches forward and removes the gag from Frank’s mouth and Frank immediately starts coughing, feeling that his mouth is now incredibly sore. 

“You got anything else on you?” Gerard asks. 

“Please don’t hurt me,” Frank sobs into the fabric of the bedsheets beneath him, ignoring his captor’s question. “Just let me go...I swear to God I won’t say shit to anyone about this...just let me go, please...”

“Jesus Christ...” Gerard says impatiently under his breath, running a hand through his greasy, black hair. It makes him uncomfortable how desperate victims sound while they’re under the gun which is why he usually kills them quickly. He’s definitely not used to this. “Just answer the fucking question, kid.”

“Whatever you found is all—I swear to God,” Frank says, his voice hoarse from his throat being dried out by the gag. “Please, just tell me what you want from me. I’ve got money, I’ve got drugs; I’ll give you whatever you want,” he pleads.

Gerard sighs. “I’m supposed to kill you,” he says calmly. He takes the gun out of the back of his jeans and sets it down on the bedside table before sitting down on the edge of the bed and trying to figure out what the fuck he’s doing. Having this raven-haired, tattooed kid sprawled out face down on his bed in his underwear with his hands tied behind his back is not at all how this job was supposed to go down, and Gerard has to admit that he’s liking what he sees before him more than a little too much. 

Gerard fears that the second he takes the blindfold off of Frank and their eyes meet it’s going to be over for him. Deep down he knows that he’s already fucked, though—there’s no way he’s gonna be able to go through with killing this guy, seeing as he already (quite literally) has a hard-on for him. He remembers Mason’s words, then: “ _Feelings get you killed in our line of work, Way_ ,” and wonders what the fuck he’s going to do...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t ever use the word “junkie” in real life to describe a person who uses drugs. I’ve used the word in this story for effect, but I would never use it outside of this piece of fiction as it reinforces the stigma against people who use drugs and I’m not about that.


	2. Chapter 2

Frank wakes up in darkness but somehow he can tell it’s morning behind the blindfold that’s still covering his eyes. He’s still lying face down on the bed and his entire body is aching—especially his shoulders and wrists from the way his hands have been uncomfortably restrained behind his back all night. As soon as Frank is fully awake he’s on alert and acutely aware of the amount of discomfort he’s in: his wrists are burning as the circulation-slowing zap-straps continue to lacerate his wrists and his mouth and throat are extremely sore and desert-dry, as though he’s just eaten a mountain of sand. He’s also shivering from how cold he is after sleeping in just a T-shirt and boxers all night without any blankets to cover him. Frank’s not sure when he’d fallen asleep or even _how_ he could have fallen asleep with the predicament he’s in right now, kidnapped by this sociopathic mystery man who’s “supposed to kill him.” 

Frank shifts around on the bed but immediately becomes still again when one of his feet brushes against the warmth of his captor’s body lying next to him. Frank is afraid of waking the man and possibly being gagged by him again or hurt in an even worse way, so he stays as still as possible—he’s not quite sure what other sick and awful things his kidnapper is capable of and he definitely isn’t trying to find out. Frank wishfully thinks that maybe if he tries hard enough and fights through the pain, he can get out of the zap-straps that are restraining his arms and possibly escape from this hell, but he eventually decides that a less painful option would be to try and find a way to get the blindfold off so that he can at least see where to run to escape. He starts pressing his face firmly against the mattress and dragging it upwards against the fabric of the sheets beneath him, trying to get the top edge of the blindfold to slide down his nose even a little bit, all the while trying not to wake up the dangerous man who’s sleeping next to him. 

After what feels like an hour of fighting with the piece of black fabric over his eyes, Frank finally sees a slit of white daylight coming in from the top of the blindfold and his heart rate speeds up at the prospect of finally getting out of this hellhole—he’s determined. With just a few more drags of his face across the mattress beneath him, the top edge of the blindfold slides down far enough on the bridge of his nose for him to finally observe his surroundings. Frank carefully turns his head and looks towards his sleeping captor. He doesn’t recognize the man; he looks to be about thirty years old and is lying on top of the sheets fully clothed in black, including black combat boots which he appears to have slept in as if he’s ready to spring into action at the drop of a pin. Frank unintentionally notices the sharpness of the man’s jaw, the greasiness of his stringy, chin-length black hair. Frank is surprised at how normal the man looks considering he’s a sociopathic kidnapper and probably a murderer. His eyes trail down to the man’s chest and his stomach drops unpleasantly when he sees the handgun resting there, rising and falling with each breath the man takes. _He sleeps with his fucking gun?_ Frank thinks, fearing he’s likely to get shot if the man were to wake up and catch him attempting to escape. 

Frank slowly and carefully slides his legs over the edge of the bed, all the while keeping his eyes on his sleeping captor and trying hard not to make any sudden movements so as not to wake him. He finally makes it to a sitting position and then slides himself forward until his bare feet are flat against the cold, hardwood floor. His heart races as he gets to his feet and creeps towards the bedroom door, thanking every higher power he can think of that it’s open just a crack and he doesn’t have to fuck around with the handle without the use of his hands. Frank slowly begins to pull the door open with one of his bare feet and almost lets out a gasp when there’s a high pitched _creak_ sound as it swings open. He whips his head around towards the bed and when he sees his captor stirring awake he quickly bolts out of the room, not knowing where he’s going but knowing he needs to find the staircase they’d climbed to get up to this floor.

Awakening and realizing that his hostage is trying to escape, Gerard immediately grabs his gun and bolts out of the room, running after Frank. When Gerard gets to the top of the staircase he sees that Frank is already down the stairs. “Where do you think you’re going? You seriously thought you could get away?” Gerard says tauntingly. He’s not even bothering to run now because he knows there’s no way Frank is going to get the front door open without the use of his hands. “Where’re you gonna go, huh?”

Frank stops where he is at the bottom of the stairs, realizing his defeat; he really hadn’t thought this through properly in his hurried panic to escape. Giving up, he falls to his knees and begins to sob, fearfully anticipating whatever unpleasant punishment his captor has in store for him... 

Gerard walks down the stairs and stands in front of Frank where he’s kneeling on the floor. He roughly grabs a handful of the kid’s hair before shoving the barrel of the gun into his mouth. Frank’s eyes widen in fear and he starts sobbing even harder, his cries slightly muffled by the cold, metal cylinder in his mouth. He’s so fucking terrified for his life right now that he starts to piss himself, soaking his boxers and creating a small puddle on the floor as he tastes the metal on his tongue. 

“I’ll blow your fucking brains out the next time you even _think_ of trying something stupid like that,” Gerard says intensely. “Do you understand?” Frank’s entire body is shaking; he’s so terrified and humiliated that all he can do right now is sob. Gerard grabs Frank’s hair tighter and pulls his head back to make the hostage look up at him. “Look me in the fucking eyes: _Do you understand?_ ” he reiterates firmly. Frank’s bloodshot, tear-filled eyes shift to look up at the man who’s glowering down at him and he nods.

“Good,” Gerard says. He pulls the gun out of Frank’s mouth and shoves him down onto the floor to lie in the puddle of his own urine as he continues to sob. He feels somewhat guilty that he’d scared Frank so badly that he’d pissed himself, but he justifies his cruel actions by telling himself that he needed to show Frank what will happen to him if he ever tries that shit again—if Frank were to escape, both him and Gerard would be dead men for sure when Mason and his crew got word of it.

Gerard looks down at the sobbing, urine-soaked mess of a human being on the floor at his feet and he sighs, tucking the gun into the waistband of the back of his jeans. He suddenly feels a bit of compassion as he hooks his hands underneath Frank’s armpits and pulls his limp, piss-covered body upright. “C’mon, on your feet,” he says. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” Gerard has never kidnapped any of his victims before now and he’s definitely not used to watching them cry for this long—there’s usually a bullet in their brain long before they even have a chance to start begging for their life. He finds that he’s developing a real soft spot for this kid and it feels a little unsettling. 

Frank hangs his head, too afraid and humiliated to dare look his captor in the eyes as he stands there. Gerard unties the displaced blindfold from Frank’s head and stuffs it into one of the front pockets of his jeans before leading Frank back upstairs and into his en-suite bathroom. He sits Frank down on top of the toilet lid and then briefly goes into the bedroom to grab Frank’s switchblade off the nightstand. Frank‘s terror-filled eyes are glued to the small knife in his kidnapper’s hands when Gerard walks back into the bathroom. 

“Relax; I’m not gonna hurt you,” Gerard assures the younger man gently. “Stand up,” he says.

Frank obeys, getting to his feet without hesitation, not wanting to give his captor any reason to change his mind about not hurting him. Gerard turns Frank around and cuts the zap-straps off his wrists with the switchblade, frowning when he notices the cuts they’ve left on his skin. Frank lets out a breath of relief when his arms are freed and he examines his sore, bloody wrists while Gerard turns on the bathtub faucet and starts the shower. Gerard then sits on the edge of the tub and lightly tugs at Frank’s wet boxers. “Take your clothes off,” he says.

Frank feels embarrassed and uncomfortable; he’s unaccustomed to undressing in front of a total stranger, let alone one who‘s planning on killing him. Gerard smirks a little when he notices that Frank is blushing, thinking he’s cute as fuck, and Frank feels like jumping out of his goddamn skin.

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” Gerard says, trying (unsuccessfully) to make this situation a little less uncomfortable for Frank.

Frank turns an even deeper shade of red at hearing the man’s words, and he notices that his captor isn’t taking his eyes off of him, as if he _wants_ to watch Frank get undressed. Frank reluctantly lifts his T-shirt up and over his head, fearful of what might happen to him if he doesn’t oblige, and then pulls it off, revealing the pale skin of his slender torso and the red, hand-shaped bruise on his right upper arm where his kidnapper had forcefully grabbed him and dragged him out of the car last night. Gerard ogles the two sparrows that are tattooed in black ink on either side of Frank’s lower abdomen as well as the black flame tattooed above his left nipple that has the word “hope” inked below it in black block letters. Gerard finds Frank’s tattooed body so sexy and he just can’t help staring at it.

“D-do you have any?” Frank asks nervously, noticing Gerard checking out his tattoos, and Gerard is almost startled when Frank speaks because it’s the first time the kid has said something other than “please don’t kill me” or something else along those lines. 

“Any what?” Gerard asks, sounding caught off guard as he looks up at Frank.

“Ink,” Frank replies. 

“Oh,” Gerard says, clueing in. He shakes his head. “No, I just enjoy them; I’m terrified of needles,” he admits.

“Really?” Frank asks, almost... _smiling_?

Gerard nods. “Yeah. What’s so amusing about that, huh?” he asks.

Frank shrugs. “It’s just ironic, you being scared of a tiny-ass needle when you kill people for a living...” he says. 

Gerard raises an eyebrow. He can’t tell if Frank is taking the piss out of him (no pun intended) or if he’s simply stating an observation. Little does he know, Frank is simply trying to kill some time before he’s made to take his boxers off and expose his junk to his gun-wielding captor. Frank feels entirely uneasy, especially with the way the man is looking him up and down, seemingly checking out his body. Frank fears that his kidnapper is some kind of sexual predator or something and his heart is pounding hard in his chest as he prays that he’s not about to be assaulted...

“I never told you what I do for a living,” Gerard says, his eyes narrowing.

“Well, it’s not hard to guess...” says Frank. “You did say that you’re supposed to kill me.”

Gerard presses his lips together firmly and gestures towards the bathtub with a nod of his head. “Get in,” he says simply. 

Frank’s heart rate speeds up again in fear and then he slowly begins to inch his boxers down his legs. Gerard looks down at his lap for a moment, not wanting to seem like a total creep watching Frank take his clothes off, but he looks up for a second and catches a glimpse of Frank’s ass and he has to bite his lip hard enough to draw blood in order to keep himself from commenting on how fucking cute it is—Gerard often doesn’t have much of a filter. Frank’s ass is small but it has a perfectly rounded shape, and if Gerard is being honest, all he wants to do right now is fucking bury his face in it. 

Frank steps into the bathtub and that’s when Gerard sees Frank’s dick—this time he can’t hold himself back. “Fuck...” he says under his breath. Frank’s dick is a little smaller than average, but again, so fucking cute and Gerard just can’t deal. Frank feels a little sick to his stomach when he looks down and notices his kidnapper’s bulging crotch, realizing just how much the man is enjoying this. “It’s got a mind of its own; I can’t help it,” Gerard says with a smirk, referencing his erection which he knows Frank has just observed. Frank thinks he might just drop dead right now from embarrassment and save his horny captor the hassle of killing him. Gerard infers Frank’s increasing discomfort from the uneasy expression on his face and so he turns away (much to Frank’s relief) and lets Frank have some privacy as he showers.

With his kidnapper no longer ogling his naked body, Frank begins gulping down mouthfuls of hot water from the shower head before he even begins to bathe himself, finally quenching his extreme thirst. Gerard realizes that Frank is probably hungry, too, and plans to give him something to eat when they’re done here. He anticipates that Frank will soon start asking him questions about why he’s here and why he’s still alive, but he decides to not let on that he doesn’t plan on killing Frank until he comes up with a plan that will keep them both alive...


	3. Chapter 3

The following morning, Gerard wakes up to the retching, splashing noises of Frank vomiting off the side of the bed onto the hardwood floor. He groans as he shifts around in bed, turning onto his side to find that Frank has now rolled onto his back and is lying next to him looking like absolute shit; pale and sick-looking. Frank _feels_ like absolute shit, too: his heart is pounding uncomfortably fast in his chest and he’s feeling overheated, clammy as fuck, nauseated to no end, and like he’s got the flu or something with the way his muscles are aching. Gerard hadn’t bothered to restrain his young hostage last night because he was sure he’d gotten his message across to the kid after practically shoving the handgun down his throat after he’d tried to escape—he‘s pretty certain that Frank won’t be trying that shit again. Besides that, the kid’s wrists are still a bloody mess and Gerard felt it would be unnecessarily cruel to have them tightly tied up again.

Gerard sighs, looking at Frank in his sorry state. “Is it just your thing to make disgusting messes on the floors of other people’s homes?” he asks. He’s really not looking forward to cleaning up another puddle of Frank’s bodily fluids from the floor for the second day in a row. 

Frank just groans in response, eyes closed, and wipes gross puke away from his lips with the back of his hand. He feels like hell and the last thing he wants to do is to speak unnecessarily.

Gerard had seen this shit coming a mile away. “When did you last use?” he asks.

Frank is caught off guard by the question. He turns his head and opens his eyes to look at his captor for a moment, giving the man a scowling glance. “What are you talking about?” he asks.

“Don’t play dumb—I’m not your mom or a fuckin’ cop,” Gerard says casually. He sits up in bed, leans back against the headboard and reaches over to the bedside table to grab a cigarette which he lights coolly before closing his eyes as he takes the first drag. “So, when was it?” he asks again, emptying his lungs of white, wispy smoke as he does.

Frank finds himself wondering how his captor never seems bothered by anything at all. He finds it sort of unreal and lowkey admirable how he’s so damn _chill_ all the time. “It was two nights ago. Y’know, the night you fucking kidnapped me at gunpoint,” he replies, maintaining the glowering look that’s aimed up at the man. 

Gerard nods. “Makes sense,” he says. “Give it a week; it’ll pass. How long have you been on that shit, anyway?” he asks, referring to the opiates. 

Frank sighs, thinking. “Uh...six, eight months or something—I honestly don’t know. Why do you even care?” he says moodily, feeling irritated that this guy’s idea of making conversation is asking him questions about his drug addiction while he’s actively going through withdrawal.

“Just curious is all,” Gerard says, glancing down at Frank. He observes that the younger man’s hair is damp with perspiration and is sticking to his clammy forehead, which he finds oddly sexy. His eyes inevitably trail down to Frank’s bare chest and torso, admiring the kid’s body art again.

“Where are my fucking pills, anyway?” Frank questions, ignoring his kidnapper’s hungry stare. The only thing he wants right now is to feel the pleasant and familiar warmth of an opiate high to cure the sickness he’s feeling. “Wait—are you smoking my cigarettes?” he adds as the familiar Marlboro smell reaches his nostrils. He’s just utterly amazed at the nerve this guy has for stealing his shit and then claiming it as his own. For a moment Frank’s not even scared of the guy anymore, just incredibly fucking annoyed at his very existence. 

“Yeah,” Gerard nods smugly in response, smirking as he tries to hold back a chuckle at the incredulous look on Frank’s face. “And I’m never gonna give you those pills back, so don’t even try.”

“What’d you do with them? Use them yourself like you’re doing with my goddamn cigarettes?”

“Fuck no,” Gerard says, shaking his head. “I’ve been hooked on pills before and I’ve been off them for years now. The sooner you kick the habit, the better. Trust me. I’m doing you a fucking favour.”

“Listen, I don’t give a shit about your recovery 12-step bullshit. I just wanna get high. So either give me my shit back or fucking kill me already, because I feel like death anyway.”

“Yeah...I don’t think so,” Gerard says, still smirking smugly. 

“C’mon, what’s it to you if I get high? D’you want me to suck your dick or something? ‘Cause I’ll fucking do it if you gimme back my pills,” Frank says desperately, looking up at his captor with a needy look in his eyes that tempts Gerard a little. “I can tell you swing that way; I saw you get hard looking at me when I was naked in the shower yesterday,” Frank adds. 

Gerard sighs. “Shut the fuck up, Frank,” he says, shaking his head as if doing so will stop him from wanting this kid so badly. He doesn’t want to hear another word of Frank’s pathetic bargaining and honestly he’s feeling a little embarrassed about being called out for ogling his body yesterday. Besides, if Frank were to ever suck his dick he wouldn’t want him to do it for drugs; he’d want him to do it because he actually _wants_ to—not that he thinks that will ever happen, though he’d definitely fantasized about it after watching Frank in the shower last night...

“So, you’re _not_ gay?” Frank questions. He’s kind of enjoying the fact that he seems to be getting under his kidnapper’s skin right now, getting a bit of a rise out of him.

“Do you understand the words “shut the fuck up” or do I have to shove a goddamn gag down your throat again?” Gerard says firmly. 

Frank can hear a hint of mischief in the man’s tone of voice and he can see a slight glint of... _some_ thing in his eyes—he can’t pinpoint what exactly—as he avoids the question about his sexuality. Frank narrows his eyes, suddenly feeling confident as he senses a weakness in Gerard. “I’m not afraid of you,” he says boldly. 

Gerard raises an eyebrow challengingly. “Well, you fuckin’ ought to be, considering I could blow your goddamn head off if I wanted to,” he says, patting his torso where the gun is sitting in the inside pocket of his leather jacket. “You have no idea what I’m capable of, the shit I’ve done...it’d make you cry.”

Frank scoffs. “Well, so-fucking-what you have a gun. Congratulations,” he says mockingly. “Why haven’t you killed me yet? The fuck are you waiting for?” he asks, well aware of the fact that he’s being a little shit right now and that it might get him into trouble. 

Gerard is speechless for a moment, caught off guard by Frank’s sudden boldness as he lies there next to him, sweating and shaking from his opiate withdrawal. He figures he might as well just tell the kid what’s up considering he’s obviously calling his bluff. “I’m not gonna kill you, Frank,” Gerard admits. “I _was_ gonna do it, but when I saw you, there was just something about you that I...” Gerard’s voice trails off as he changes his mind about what he’s about to say. “...ah, fuck it...never mind,” he says, shaking his head and coming to his senses. He’s not ready to be vulnerable and tell this kid that he’s attracted to him— _feelings get you killed_ , he recalls Mason’s haunting words again. Besides, he’s aware that Frank can already tell that he’s into him in that way; there’s really no need to say it explicitly.

Frank is shocked to hear his captor admit that he’d changed his mind and now isn’t going to kill him, and he’s a little puzzled about the man’s vague explanation for his decision—he knows it couldn’t have been an easy one to make. “What do you mean? Why are you holding me hostage then?” Frank asks. He’s feeling anxious and not so confident suddenly as the reality sinks in that someone out there really wants him dead so badly that they were willing to pay thousands of dollars to have him taken out. 

“All you need to know is that if you leave here, you’re fucking dead. Your boss hired me to kill you and he’s expecting the job to be done by the end of the week—that’s two days from now. When I don’t have a body to show him by the deadline, he’s gonna hunt us both down himself and if he finds us he will kill us—probably in a much more unpleasant way than just a bullet to the head. I’m gonna think of a way to get us out of this so that it doesn’t come to that. If you stay with me, then I can protect you.” 

Frank is in complete shock after hearing the man describe the situation they’re in. He can’t believe that this murderer/kidnapper/stranger is putting his own fucking life in danger to save him, a kid he doesn’t even know who has nothing at all to offer him. It makes no sense to Frank why this guy would do this. “So, if you’re not gonna kill me, then what the hell are we gonna do?”

Gerard sighs. “Well, that’s just it—I’m not sure yet,” he says. “I _could_ just kill someone else and disguise the body to look like you,” he muses simply, thinking out loud. “Is there anyone you know of who deserves to be shot in the fucking head?” he asks casually.

Frank honestly can’t tell if the man is joking or serious right now about asking him for a suggestion on who to kill instead of him. “I, uh...” Frank begins, at a complete loss for words. 

Gerard chuckles darkly, seeing a subtle hint of fear in Frank’s eyes as the kid tries to wrap his head around the question that has just been asked of him. “I’m just fucking with you,” Gerard says.

Frank rolls his eyes, irritated both at his own gullibility and at his kidnapper’s morbid sense of humour. He sits up next to his captor, suddenly realizing something. “You haven’t told me your name,” he says. 

“You asking?” says Gerard, eyes squinting a little as he takes another drag off of his cigarette while Frank watches him.

“Yeah,” Frank says, fighting the urge to add a snarky “ _obviously_ ” to the end of his reply. 

“Gerard.”

Frank nods his head slowly. “Gerard,” he echoes, enjoying the way the R’s gently roll off of his tongue when he says it. 

Gerard looks over at Frank and sees a little smile forming across his pretty lips. “You like it?” he asks.

Frank is a bit startled when Gerard speaks, as though he’s just been woken up out of a daydream, and his smile fades quickly. “Yeah, it’s cool,” Frank nods, trying to sound casual meanwhile inside he’s feeling embarrassed about making it so obvious that he enjoys the way Gerard’s name feels rolling off of his tongue.

Gerard breathes out a mouthful of smoke and leans his head back until it hits the wall lightly with a quiet _thud_. “God, you’re cute as all hell...” he says quietly, and his eyes slip shut for just a second. He’d meant for the statement to just be a thought and when he realizes that he’s actually said it aloud he bites the inside of his lip to stop himself from cursing. He feels like he’s constantly saying a little too much and it’s frustrating the hell out of him how forward he’s being, wearing his heart on his sleeve and shit like he’s not a fucking hardened criminal and a murderer. 

Frank’s eyes widen a bit and his cheeks go pink as he blushes, looking and feeling uncomfortable. He can tell that Gerard likes him a little more than he’s letting on and it’s a strange situation for him because he’s never had this kind of attention and admiration from another guy before, let alone one that’s both kidnapped him and saved his life. He’s starting to warm up to Gerard, though—even if he still finds him irritating as hell—because now he knows that for whatever reason, Gerard wants to protect him from Mason. He can’t deny that he’s appreciative of that fact, because he could be lying dead on a dirty Los Angeles street right now if that wasn’t the case. 

Gerard runs a hand through his greasy hair and tries to ignore the uncomfortable look on Frank’s face. It sort of hurts him to know that Frank is probably afraid of him and creeped out by him, but he can’t blame the kid; Gerard had gagged him and bruised him and shoved a goddamn gun down his throat for fuck’s sake—Frank would be a fucking saint if he wasn’t absolutely repulsed by his kidnapper. 

Gerard aggressively stubs out his dying cigarette in the ashtray next to him on the bedside table and gets out of bed. He hasn’t changed his black clothing in two days and now he’s feeling sticky and gross and just wants to hop into the shower. He figures that Frank will just be lying in bed sick while he’s in the bathroom so he decides to go ahead.

“Where’re you going?” Frank asks, and Gerard is surprised at the question. Frank is a little surprised at himself, too, for asking it, but he can’t help feeling like he doesn’t want to be alone right now. And, now that he knows that Gerard wants to protect him, he sort of _wants_ to be around him, in a way.

“Shower,” Gerard replies, heading into the bathroom. 

Frank slumps his sick ass out of bed and follows Gerard into the bathroom, not really thinking, just knowing he doesn’t wanna lie there alone in bed feeling like shit for God knows how long while Gerard showers. Besides, he’s shivering cold and the warmth from the steam of the water will be nice as he sits there on the lid of the toilet. 

Gerard turns on the shower and glances curiously at Frank as he begins to undress. He can tell that Frank is trying not to catch a glimpse of anything he doesn’t want to see as Gerard tugs down his pants and boxers, exposing himself, and he smirks to himself a little, noticing the younger man blushing. He’s pretty certain that Frank has never been with another guy before and the thought kind of excites him, just imagining taking him for the first time...fuck. Gerard shakes his head, knowing that this is the worst time to be having those kinds of thoughts. He takes the gun out of the inside pocket of his leather jacket and brings it into the shower with him, setting it down on the soap dish ledge in the corner. 

“I think we’re gonna have to leave town tomorrow,” Gerard says as the hot water streams down over his body.

“Yeah? And go where?” asks Frank.

“Far from here,” Gerard says. He really has no idea. “Just drive. I know a guy who can maybe get us into Canada.”

“Shit. That’s pretty fuckin’ far,” Frank says, looking up and noticing Gerard’s blurred, naked figure behind the fogged up glass of the shower door.

“I know. We can’t stay here much longer, though...gotta get moving.”

And it’s true: back in the Hollywood Hills, Mason is starting to have his suspicions, seeing that Gerard is taking longer than usual to get this simple, lowkey job done. Even with big time drug dealers Gerard has never taken more than a few days to get his shit together, so the fact that it’s taking him going on five days now to kill this fucking junkie kid is really weighing on him. He’s thinking it’s time he contacts Gerard to check in and figure out what the hell is up...


	4. Chapter 4

Gerard has been feeling uneasy all morning; he just can’t shake the unexplainable feeling that he and Frank need to get the fuck out of town _yesterday_. All morning he’s been busy packing bags for life on the run while Frank has been lying in bed, watching Gerard pack while agonizing over his dope-sickness which is making him a sweaty, nauseated, achy mess of a person right now. Frank feels as though he has the worst flu of his life and would give anything to get high right now and go back to feeling good again. 

“Gerard, please...” Frank says, starting up the begging for his confiscated pain pills yet again. 

Frank has been at this on and off all morning but Gerard is being super patient with him and isn’t even getting annoyed because he’s been through opiate withdrawal before—he’s been a dope-sick, desperate shell of a human being like Frank is right now, and he knows how difficult it is dealing with the cravings while feeling like absolute shit. Getting clean and sober often didn’t feel worth it when he was in the throes of withdrawal, but when he came out the other side feeling clear-headed and finally like himself again, he realized how much of his life he’d missed and then living was the only thing he wanted to do. Gerard just wants Frank to have the opportunity to experience that new beginning for himself. 

“I just need one of the little yellow ones. That’s it. Then I’ll shut the fuck up, I promise,” Frank continues. He’s sprawled out on his back with sweat soaking through another one of Gerard’s T-shirts, but at the same time he’s shivering from being cold which is a strange thing for Gerard to observe.

Gerard doesn’t look up as he finishes rolling up a black T-shirt on the bed and then stuffs it into the leather duffle bag that’s sitting open on the bed, almost full to bursting point with clothes now. “These next 48 hours are going to be hell but once you get past them you’re golden; shit’s easy after that,” Gerard encourages. 

Frank just groans, frustrated that his request for his pills is being denied yet again. _Why does this motherfucker care so much about my well-being?_ he thinks to himself, scowling curiously up at Gerard as he stands at the foot of the bed folding and packing clothes in a methodical fashion.

“You have to stay sober while we’re on the road. Have to be alert at all times. Ready to fight or ready to run—not that you’ll have to do any of the fighting, if it comes to that,” Gerard says, inferring that Frank can’t hold his own.

“You think you’re my fucking ‘protector’ or some shit?” Frank says defensively. “I’ve knocked people out before.”

“When? In junior high?” Gerard says with a smirk and then he chuckles when he sees Frank’s face contort into an expression of contest.

“I’d definitely kick your ass right now if I wasn’t so sick,” Frank says. His sweat-soaked T-shirt is clinging to his skin and making him feel even colder now so he pulls it off and tosses it at Gerard. “Trade,” he says.

“Oh, you think you’re tough shit? I’d love to see you try to take me on,” Gerard says as he tosses the black T-shirt he’s just folded and packed at Frank. He throws the damp white tee into the laundry bin a few feet away from where he’s standing.

“When I’m not feeling like shit I’ll take you on for sure.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

Gerard’s burner phone starts to vibrate in his pocket and he fishes it out, seeing “blocked caller” on the display. Frank notices Gerard’s brow furrow and then he speaks. “It’s Mason. Don’t make a fucking sound,” he says before putting the phone to his ear.

Frank feels a surge of anxiety swell in his chest when he hears his boss’s name. He keeps as still as possible while Gerard answers the phone. 

“Hey, boss. What’s goin’ on?” Gerard says loudly and confidently into the receiver.

“I seen your car out in the driveway. That mean you’re home?” Mason says on the other end. 

Gerard feels his breath catch in his throat; he hadn’t anticipated this drop-in visit from his boss. 

“Uh...yeah, I am,” Gerard admits. 

“You gonna let me in or what?

“Yeah, yeah. Just, uh...gimme a minute....” Gerard says. 

“You got company or something?” Mason asks. 

“No, I’m just...in the bathroom is all. I’ll be down in a couple minutes. Just hold up,” Gerard says. He hangs up the phone then and looks at Frank. 

“Under the bed. Now. And don’t even _think_ of making a sound or we’re both fucking dead. You hear me? I’m not playing.”

Frank nods, sheer terror in his eyes as he does, and immediately tucks himself under the bed towards the centre and away from the edges, so as not to be seen.

“Not a sniff, not a fucking cough— _not one sound_ ,” Gerard reiterates. His heart is pounding in his chest as he tries to figure out what the hell Mason is doing here. Checking up on him, he presumes, but why? He takes a deep breath, makes sure Frank isn’t visible under the bed, and then heads downstairs to the front door where he sees Mason’s shadow through the porch window. Gerard swings the door open and greets his boss. 

“Hey, man, how’s it going? Come in,” Gerard says. “What’re you doing around here?” he asks, trying to sound casual.

“Ah, I was just cruisin’ around, thought I’d stop by,” Mason says. 

Gerard notices Mason’s two large bodyguards standing at the bottom of the driveway next to Mason’s shiny, white Beamer, looking on with stone-cold expressions on their faces. 

“Brought some backup along, I see,” Gerard says curiously, letting Mason in through the doorway. 

“Can’t be too careful ‘round these parts,” he says with his diamond smile, making the scar across his left cheek crease as he cheeses insincerely.

“Want a drink or something? Wasn’t expecting company so all I got’s beer or sparkling water,” Gerard says.

“Nah, I’m good. Not planning on staying long. Got business to take care of, y’know...” Mason says, looking around as if he’s looking for clues. “Speaking of business...when you gonna get that job done? You only got a day left after today. You’re usually on top of this shit by now.”

“Yeah, I was actually planning on doing it tomorrow,” Gerard says, trying to act all casual as he lies.

“Tomorrow? Oh, well, then, perfect,” Mason says, nodding. “It’s kinda odd though, ‘cause for the last few days I haven’t been able to get ahold of the kid and he missed his drop off today. You know anything about that? Figured I’d ask you since you’re the one who’s been trackin’ him and all.” 

Gerard swallows audibly and quickly tries to come up with some bullshit to spew out at Mason. “Yeah, I uh...I kidnapped him,” he says.

Mason’s expression changes. “You kidnapped him,” he reiterates flatly. 

“Yeah, I took one look at him and decided I couldn’t just kill him without, y’know...fucking him a few times first,” Gerard says, disgusted with himself for even saying the words.

Mason smirks an evil smirk and chuckles as he nods slowly. “You sick son of a bitch,” he says, his diamond grill glinting in the light. “But you _are_ gonna kill him tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, of course. Looking forward to it, actually,” Gerard lies, feeling as though he might vomit.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Mason says, slapping Gerard hard on the back as he laughs dryly. 

“So, don’t you got someplace to be?” Gerard says, scratching the back of his neck. “Y’know...business and all.”

“Oh...yeah, sure,” Mason replies, shifting on his feet and looking towards the door. “I’ll let you get back to it then...” he says with another evil smirk. 

After Mason leaves, Gerard heads back upstairs and tells Frank that his boss is gone. At first Frank doesn’t move—even though he’s heard the front door shut and Mason’s car drive away he’s still terrified and his heart is racing. Gerard kneels down and looks underneath the bed to find that Frank is just lying there shaking and looking scared. He smiles a little, trying to imagine this kid knocking someone out—he doesn’t see it. 

“Hey. You comin’ out?” Gerard asks gently.

Frank looks at Gerard, suddenly not sure if he should be so trusting of this man he knows nothing about who kills people for a living.

“I—I heard what you said to him down there...” Frank says, his glance shifting nervously away from Gerard’s as he recalls the chilling words that the man had spoken so nonchalantly.

Gerard’s brow furrows and his stomach sinks when he realizes why Frank is still so scared. “Shit...” he sighs, feeling ashamed that Frank had heard him speak like that about him, even if it was all a lie. “I didn’t mean any of it. It was just a way for me to get him the fuck out of here. I had to make it sound believable.”

“I just...I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel about leaving town with you. And it’s frustrating because I really don’t have a fucking choice but to trust you. Like, maybe you _are_ planning on killing me tomorrow like you told Mason, and this ‘getting out of town’ thing is just you driving me out to the middle of nowhere to murder me.”

“Frank, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Gerard assures him. “I actually kinda like you, so...there’s that,” he admits. 

Frank’s eyes meet Gerard’s again and Gerard smiles a little, offering his hand to pull Frank out from underneath the bed. Frank takes Gerard’s hand and in a moment he’s sitting on the floor next to Gerard. He’s feeling so overwhelmed with everything that’s happening to him—his boss wants him dead, he’s going on the run with a stranger who for some reason is risking his own life to keep him alive, he’s going through drug withdrawal and he just feels anxious and on edge. He only realizes he’s started to cry when he feels Gerard’s strong arms wrapping around his smaller body and holding him close. Frank tenses at first but then allows himself to relax into Gerard’s embrace as he cries into the man’s T-shirt and his hands grasp the black leather of his jacket, because this feels nice; he feels safe. 

“Shh...everything’s gonna be okay, I promise,” Gerard whispers. “I’ve got you.”

The two of them sit there like that on the floor together for a while longer, both of them realizing just how much they unconsciously needed this human contact and not wanting to let go. Gerard is gently rubbing slow circles into Frank’s back and he’s wishing he could just take Frank’s face in his hands and kiss him deeply, but he knows that the feeling is one-sided so he doesn’t dare. Frank is enjoying the comfort of this warm embrace and in that moment he knows that he can trust Gerard, he can just feel it in his energy, if that makes sense. 

Frank’s crying fades to a still quietness not long after, and Gerard closes his eyes, relishing the last moments of holding Frank in his arms, feeling that Frank is probably going to pull away soon. But, Frank stays; his head resting against Gerard’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. Gerard holds Frank a little tighter and smiles to himself when he hears the sweet little sigh that escapes Frank’s lips as he does.


	5. Chapter 5

“We need to get you a fake passport,” Gerard says, looking over at Frank who’s sitting next to him in the passenger’s seat while he drives down the nearly empty highway in his black pickup truck.

They’d left town last night and Gerard has been driving ever since—over ten hours now. It’s almost five in the morning and they’ve just entered the city of Yreka in northern California. Gerard‘s tired eyes are scanning the highway signs to find an exit that will lead them to a hotel where they can crash at this morning. He’d destroyed his phone back in Los Angeles before they’d left, so he has no way of looking up directions to anywhere. 

“What? Are you serious?” Frank asks, meeting Gerard’s sideways glance. 

“Yeah. How else do you think we’re gonna get you into Canada?” Gerard says, focusing his tired eyes on the road again.

“Do _you_ have one?” Frank asks.

“A fake passport? In my line of work, it’d be irresponsible _not_ to have one,” Gerard replies. “You never know when you’re gonna need to leave the country.”

Frank is sort of stunned at Gerard’s response but he thinks he probably should have figured that Gerard must have all kinds of illegal possessions. “How much does something like that cost? And where the fuck do you even get one?”

“Cost? At _least_ five figures for an actual physical document,” Gerard replies casually. “And...I have a ‘guy,’” he adds, feeling kinda stupid when he says it.

“A “guy?”” Frank echoes, laughing a bit.

Gerard nods. “Yeah,” he says. “Basically, he does illegal shit for me and I pay him an arm and a leg,” he says flippantly.

Frank shakes his head, not really able to wrap his mind around the kind of existence that Gerard has. “How’d you even get into this kind of... _lifestyle_? Like...I’m sure you didn’t just wake up one morning and decide you were gonna kill people for money. How much do you make doing... _that_ , anyway?” 

Gerard grits his teeth and grips the steering wheel a little tighter then, thinking about his past. “It’s a long story, and one I don’t really care to tell at the moment,” he says, sounding a little irritated. “And contract killing is not nearly as lucrative a business as you might think when you factor in all of the expenses, not to mention all of the personal losses. There are certain...’pleasantries’ that you have to give up in order to lead this kind of life.”

Frank looks over at Gerard’s somewhat hardened expression and although he has many more questions he decides not to push the subject any further right now when he recognizes the pain that Gerard is trying to hide behind his eyes. 

“Anyway, how’re you feeling?” Gerard asks, changing the subject to focus on Frank now. Talking about himself sort of makes Gerard feel like jumping out of his own skin, so he prefers to keep that shit to a minimum if at all possible.

Frank has to think for a moment before he realizes that Gerard is referring to his drug withdrawal. “Oh. A lot better. Thanks,” Frank says. He feels a little uncomfortable when he recalls the desperate way he’d acted yesterday, begging for his pills. He’d really felt out of control. 

“Your head feel a bit clearer?”

Frank nods and looks over at Gerard again. “Yeah, it does, actually,” he says, just noticing. The realization that his brain isn’t feeling all fuzzy anymore makes him slightly uncomfortable, _but maybe anything different makes people feel a little uncomfortable at first_ , he thinks. He tries his best to just go with it. 

“Good. You should be proud of yourself, Frank,” Gerard says sincerely. “I know firsthand that drug withdrawal is a fucking bitch.”

Frank can’t help but smile a little to himself, because shit, yeah, he’s actually clean and sober for the first time in months—something he hadn’t imagined he’d ever be able to achieve. He has to admit that he still feels a little under the weather and that the cravings are definitely still there, nagging at the back of his mind, but he’s feeling a lot better than he did even twelve hours ago and he’s thankful that Gerard made him push through the worst of the withdrawal symptoms.

Before long, Gerard is pulling into the parking lot of a Super 8 hotel in Yreka. The two men retrieve their bags from the back seat of the truck and make their way inside of the hotel lobby where they walk up to the front desk. Gerard pays for the room—which has two double beds—in cash, and after he swipes the hotel keycard and they get inside the room, they both find that they’re too exhausted to even shower, so they just strip down to their boxers and get into their respective beds. 

Frank watches Gerard set his gun down on the bedside table that’s closest to his bed on the left before he switches the lamp off, leaving the room in near-darkness. It’s the first time Frank has seen Gerard get into bed without being fully clothed and without his gun resting on top of his chest. He silently wonders why Gerard had even made that a habit but decides he’s asked him too many questions for one morning. Besides, he can imagine that Gerard is probably feeling even more exhausted than he is right now after all the driving the man had done all through the night. 

“How long are we gonna stay here?” Frank asks after a few minutes of the two of them lying in their beds in silence. He’s staring up at the ceiling in the dark, suddenly feeling cold and alone in this unfamiliar bed. He hasn’t really even asked Gerard what the plan is, partly because he doesn’t have a say in it anyway, and partly because he’s scared to know any more information than is completely necessary.

“We’ll leave tomorrow morning—just enough time for us to get rested and have a couple of good meals in us. Gotta keep moving, that’s the most important thing,” Gerard says. He’s feeling restless in his bed and he chalks it up to it just not being where he’s used to sleeping. He realizes, though, that it’s the first night in four nights that he’s not falling asleep with Frank’s warm body lying beside him. He’d gotten oddly used to it and admits to himself that he misses the presence of another person sleeping next to him in his bed. 

“D’you think he’ll find us?” Frank asks, sounding worried as he refers to Mason.

Gerard pauses for a moment before replying. “He’ll definitely try, but, no—I don’t think he’ll ever find us,” he says, trying to convince himself as much as Frank that those words are true. Frank sighs deeply and Gerard glances over at him, catching the dim, yellow glow of the street lights streaming in through the hotel room window in Frank’s eyes. “I’ll keep you safe, okay? Stop worrying. Just try and get some rest—you need it,” he says.

Frank is quiet for a moment, embarrassed to admit what he’s about to say. “I don’t think I can sleep alone,“ he says softly.

Gerard sighs. “Well, get over here, then,” he says, trying to downplay how pleased he is that Frank actually _wants_ to share a bed with him. He pulls back the blankets on his bed, inviting Frank in, and Frank quickly climbs out of his own bed and slips into Gerard’s, pulling the blankets up over himself as he does. Gerard watches Frank’s face in the barely-there lights—somehow he looks more beautiful than ever right now and it almost hurts for Gerard to feel this way about him because he knows there’s no fucking way that the feeling will ever be mutual—not after everything he’s done to Frank; not considering the kind of person he is. Gerard knows that Frank would never come right out and say this, but he knows that Frank’s afraid of him. To what extent? Gerard doesn’t pretend to have a clue. But, he knows, at least, that he is, and it tears him up because he’d brought it upon himself. 

“You got something to say to me?” Frank asks, snapping Gerard out of the daze he didn’t even realize he was in. Frank’s looking over at him with an eyebrow raised curiously. “You’ve been staring,” he says.

Gerard chuckles. “Yeah, I got lots to say, kid,” he says, and there’s a hint of sadness in his voice, Frank notices. “But, I know better.”

Frank is lying there, puzzled. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks. 

“Never mind,” Gerard says, shaking his head, knowing he’s probably said too much already—no surprise there. “G’night, Frank,” he says conclusively before his heart-on-sleeve-wearing ass says anything else stupid. And with that, Gerard turns onto his side, facing away from Frank, and closes his eyes, leaving the younger man to lie there deep in thought for a while until he finally falls into a restless sleep. 

*

Gerard wakes up to the sound of loud, incessant knocking on the hotel room door. He immediately bolts upright in bed at the sound and instinctively reaches over Frank’s body and grabs his handgun off the bedside table, heart racing.

“Housekeeping!” a female-sounding voice announces outside the door. 

Gerard lets out the tense breath he’s been holding in when he realizes that it’s just one of the hotel staff wanting to clean the room. He loudly calls out, “Occupied!” and then hears the person walk down the hallway and begin knocking on the next guest room door. 

“Christ...” Gerard says, leaning his head back against the wall and setting the gun down in his lap. It’s been a while since he’s stayed at a hotel and he’d completely forgotten that housekeeping was a thing. He always takes surprise door-knocking to mean something sinister—based on his past experiences—which is why he’d reacted that way. 

Gerard looks down to see that Frank is lying awake on his side, facing him, with his eyes slightly widened and focused apprehensively on the gun that’s resting not too far from his face. “Sorry,” he says, reaching over Frank’s body again and returning the gun back to the bedside table. 

Frank’s heart is pounding. “You fucking scared the shit out of me. For a second I thought for sure Mason had found us,” he admits. 

“Damn, I’m sorry, baby...” Gerard says, looking down at Frank. “Really didn’t mean for you to wake up staring down a loaded gun,” he adds. At first he’s not sure why Frank’s looking up at him like that—with his cheeks all flushed and his eyes sort of fluttering embarrassedly—and then he realizes he’s stuck his foot in his fucking mouth again. He really can’t catch a break from himself and it’s frustrating him to no end. “Goddamn...” Gerard says quietly, shaking his head and looking down at his lap for a moment. To his surprise, though, when he looks at Frank again, Frank is smirking as he looks up at him—teasingly, but Gerard would rather Frank be smirking at him teasingly than looking at him with absolute disgust. 

“You’re so fucking obvious that it’s actually funny,” Frank says.

“The fuck are you talking about?” Gerard asks, laughing a bit as he tosses the blankets off of himself and gets out of bed. He’s not about to sit there and blush while Frank teases him about the apparently “obvious” crush that Gerard has on him. No fucking way. Gerard picks up his crumpled pair of black jeans from the floor beside the bed, and as he glances at the digital clock on the bedside table he sees that it’s just about noonday. 

Frank sits up in bed, grinning now as he realizes he’s figured out how to fuck with Gerard and embarrass him. He’s definitely going to have some fun with this. Somehow it makes him feel more confident to know that he has this... _power_ over the murderer who’d kidnapped him. “Oh, come _on_ ,” Frank says, laughing. “A couple days ago you told me I was “cute as all hell” and now you’re calling me “baby?” Just admit that you‘re fucking smitten with me,” he teases.

Gerard shrugs and smiles, giving up trying to deny anything when he sees how amused Frank is by his clear-as-day embarrassment. “So what if I am?” he admits casually, looking at Frank as he steps into his jeans. “And, by the way, how do you know I don’t call everyone “baby?” You don’t know a thing about me,” he points out, smirking a bit when he notices that Frank is blushing and trying to find somewhere to look while he’s standing there shirtless, pulling up his jeans. 

Frank’s surprised by how casually Gerard had admitted to him that he has a crush on him. His feeling of confidence is quickly replaced by...he doesn’t really even know what to call this feeling—but, it’s definitely not confidence. He’s never known of a guy who’s been _into_ him before and it oddly doesn’t feel as weird for him as he thinks it should feel, which is kind of fucking with his brain a little. Frank’s sure he doesn’t feel the same way about his kidnapper, but at the same time, Gerard’s attraction to him is definitely...intriguing. He’s never identified as gay or even bisexual, but he’s starting to get these fleeting, curious thoughts; thoughts like, _I wonder what he likes about me...if he ever thinks about kissing me..._ And these thoughts are, quite honestly, scaring the shit out of him and making him doubt everything he thinks he knows about himself. 

“Well, I highly doubt you call _every_ one that,” Frank says after a while, pulling at a thread on one of the bedsheets. He thinks for a moment, realizing that he does in fact know very little about Gerard. “Don’t you think we should know _some_ things about each other? I mean...we _are_ kind of stuck with each other for the foreseeable future...” Frank says. He thinks he might feel more comfortable with Gerard if the man didn’t feel like a total stranger to him.

“The less you know about me, the better. Trust me,” Gerard says before pulling his black T-shirt over his head, noticing Frank’s blushing face fall slightly at his dismissive words. Gerard almost shudders at the thought of Frank finding out about all of the bad—no, _evil_ —shit that he’s done in his life; his past crimes...


	6. Chapter 6

It’s almost four in the afternoon and Frank is asleep in the passenger’s seat, snoring lightly with his head resting against the window as Gerard drives them further north along the west coast. They’ve been on the road since they left the hotel in Yreka at seven o’ clock that morning and Gerard is about to exit off the Interstate and pull into the SeaTac Rest Area. He follows the road into the parking lot where there are several recreational vehicles parked around and a couple of families clearing their belongings from picnic tables as it begins to rain lightly. Gerard parks the truck a few stalls away from any of the other vehicles and then turns off the engine. He looks over at Frank and sees that the younger man is finally stirring awake in the seat next to him.

“Where are we?” Frank asks in a sleepy voice as he slowly shifts his body in the seat, wincing as he stretches out his stiff neck which is sore from being bent in the same position for the last couple hours as he slept leaning up against the truck’s passenger side door. 

“Rest area just outside of Seattle. I need to use a payphone and take a piss,” Gerard says, undoing his seatbelt. “You okay?” he asks, pausing as he watches Frank rub the left side of his neck with an expression of discomfort on his face. 

“Yeah. Just got a sore neck,” Frank says, wincing. 

“Here, let me get it—“ Gerard says, replacing Frank’s hand with his own. 

Frank doesn’t even have a chance to say anything before one of Gerard’s strong hands is slowly working out the tight knot in his neck, and as his own hand falls down into his lap and his eyes slip closed, Frank decides he doesn’t even mind Gerard massaging him like this because it’s exactly what he needs right now. “Fuck...” he groans quietly under his breath as Gerard starts rocking his knuckles back and forth firmly against his neck, creating a mixture of pleasure and pain that Frank is enjoying more than he’d care to admit. 

Gerard bites his inner lip at hearing Frank’s pleased little groans and he can’t tell whether or not Frank has any idea what he’s doing to him but either way he decides to stop before the younger man’s sexy sounds make him say or do something stupid.

“God, I wish you’d keep going...” Frank says in a low voice. It suddenly bothers him that he’s just said that out loud without thinking, realizing after-the-fact how sexually-charged it sounds, and it bothers him how much he’d enjoyed having another man’s hands working on his neck like that... He tries to block these thoughts out of his mind and then suddenly he’s thinking about getting fucked up right now, feeling internally restless as the drug cravings burn away at his mind like acid.

Gerard quickly looks away from Frank’s warm, hazel-green eyes—they make his stomach drop pleasantly and make his body feel all warm and he realizes just how hopelessly far gone he is for this kid. “I’m gonna go find that payphone,” Gerard says, opening the truck door and hopping out before Frank even has a chance to respond. 

*

About an hour later, Gerard and Frank are checking into a small hotel in Seattle and Gerard is absolutely exhausted—he’d been driving since they left the hotel in Yreka early that morning and now his body is stiff and his eyes are tired as fuck. Frank, on the other hand, had taken a long nap during the ride and is feeling relatively rested, although his neck is still sore. While they’re standing in the hotel foyer at the front desk checking in, the concierge looks at them curiously when Gerard asks for a room with only one king size bed. Even Frank glances up at Gerard for a second, not disappointed in the slightest, but definitely a little surprised that Gerard had taken his request to share a bed with him last night to heart. The concierge gives them their keycards and then they finally make their way towards the elevators.

As they’re standing in front of the elevator waiting for the doors to open, Gerard recalls the way Frank had looked at him while they were checking in. “There was no point in getting a room with two beds when you’re just gonna crawl into mine with me anyway,” Gerard says. He’s not sure why he feels the need to explain himself, but here he is doing just that. Frank just nods, a little embarrassed by being called out on his apparent inability to sleep alone.

The elevator arrives and they ride it up to the third floor where their room is. Just like when they’d gotten in yesterday, they both undress down to their boxers, eager to get comfy after sitting in the truck all day, and then they get into bed together. For some reason Frank is feeling nervous about lying there nearly naked in bed with Gerard, so he gets underneath the white blankets to cover himself while Gerard lies on top of the blankets. Frank glances over at Gerard and just happens to notice the significant bulge at the front of the man’s boxers. It’s not like Frank actively _wants_ to see Gerard’s dick—no, _definitely_ not—but he can’t help the curiosity he’s feeling right now; like if he ever has another chance to sneak a peek, just to see...he thinks he’d definitely look. Frank doesn’t even know why he’s thinking about this shit and it makes him angry and confused and suddenly he’s thinking about using again...

Gerard looks over at Frank, feeling the younger man’s eyes burning a hole in him, and he catches Frank’s eyes look up from where he’d been staring at Gerard’s bulge. Frank blushes and immediately looks away, silently hoping that Gerard hadn’t fucking seen him staring and gotten the wrong idea by thinking Frank was checking him out or something, which he _definitely_ hadn’t been doing. No, definitely not. But, Gerard _had_ noticed Frank’s stare, and now he’s wondering what Frank is thinking about as he lies next to him, blushing and avoiding eye contact. _Could it be possible that he’s curious?_ Gerard wonders, although he’s doubtful. But Gerard, being as forward as he is, decides to ‘test the waters’ with Frank, just in case Frank actually is curious about exploring his sexuality...

Gerard rolls onto his side, facing Frank, and leans up on one elbow, looking down at the younger man until Frank turns his head to meet Gerard’s gaze. “Is your neck still sore?” Gerard asks.

Frank moves his head a couple different ways, stretching out his neck a little to see how it feels. “Yeah, still sore. Feels like a knot or something,” he says. “I guess that’s what I get for sleeping like an asshole while you drove all day,” he adds with a sheepish smile.

“Ah, it’s okay—you needed the rest,” says Gerard. “D’you want me to rub it for you again?” he asks.

Frank’s a little caught off guard by Gerard’s offer and he’s not loving how his heart rate is speeding up just thinking about Gerard’s strong hands working out the knot in his neck again...but he nods and says, “yeah,” because he really can’t help himself. Gerard shifts a little bit closer to Frank, places his hand on the left side of his neck where he knows the sore spot is, and starts firmly massaging the area, watching Frank’s eyes slowly slip closed as he does. 

“That the spot?” Gerard asks quietly, his eyes scanning down Frank’s chest and focusing on his ‘hope’ tattoo above his left nipple. Gerard just wants to pull back the blankets and fucking stare at Frank’s gorgeous body but thankfully he at least has that much restraint. Gerard starts pressing into Frank’s neck a little harder now and he almost can’t even take the sexy, low groan that comes out of Frank’s pretty mouth as he does. 

“Yeah, that’s it... _fuck_...” Frank says in a somewhat strained voice, wincing a bit as Gerard works out the painful knot in his neck. 

“Goddamn...” Gerard says in a low voice, feeling his cock begin to get semi-hard in his boxers from hearing Frank groan like that. He bites his lip as he continues to massage Frank. “If you’re trying to make me wanna make out with you with those sounds, it’s fucking working,” he says. 

Frank smiles embarrassedly and opens his eyes to look up at Gerard, suddenly noticing how warm the man’s hazel eyes are. He really can’t believe this guy has murdered people before—he honestly just can’t imagine Gerard doing something as coldhearted as that. Not including the first twelve hours they’d spent together, Gerard has been nothing but sweet to Frank since they met and has expressed multiple times that he wants to protect him. Frank knows by now that Gerard likes him in a more-than-friendly way and if he’s being completely honest with himself he kind of enjoys the attention; besides, even if he’s most definitely not gay, he’d be lying if he said Gerard isn’t sexy as hell.

“What’s the smile for? You like thinking about me kissing you?” Gerard asks teasingly with a smirk on his face that gives Frank butterflies.

Frank laughs—no, _giggles_ —at Gerard’s words. “I dunno...” he says.

“It’s a simple question; you either like the idea of me kissing you or you don’t,” Gerard says. He stops massaging Frank then and just looks at him expectantly.

Frank’s cheeks turn an even deeper shade of pink, if that’s even possible, and he shifts his position in bed a little. “I dunno...” he says again, giggling sweetly, too embarrassed to admit that yeah, he kinda does want Gerard to kiss him.

Gerard can tell that Frank is nervous as hell and he’s not surprised because he’s clearly never done anything remotely sexual with another guy before. They just stare at each other intensely for a moment and then Gerard gently slides his hand from Frank’s neck over to rest against his cheek, and then he lightly caresses Frank’s soft lower lip with his thumb a few times. Frank’s heart is racing at this point; he’s sure now that he wants to feel Gerard’s lips on his and it scares the shit out of him that he actually wants this because he’s never wanted to kiss another guy before now.

“I want you to...” Frank says quietly, not even sure what the hell he’s doing right now as he places his hand on top of Gerard’s where it’s resting on his cheek and continues to look upward, meeting the man’s intense stare. 

“You want me to what?” Gerard asks, wanting to make sure they’re on the same page.

Frank is too embarrassed to say it out loud so he takes the hand that’s not resting on top of Gerard’s on his cheek and places it on the back of Gerard’s neck, gently but firmly pulling him down close to him until their noses are touching and they can feel each other’s hot, rhythmic breaths against their faces. After a moment of ghosting his lips over top of Frank’s, enjoying the way the younger man is starting to squirm beneath him with anticipation, Gerard finally closes the space between their lips...and from there it’s all magic and fireworks.

Frank’s hand is still on the back of Gerard’s neck as they kiss, slow and careful at first with Gerard sucking Frank’s bottom lip into his mouth before eventually pushing his tongue past Frank’s lips, enjoying his unfamiliar taste. Before long they’ve built up to a frantic and messy make out session: Gerard rips the blankets off of Frank and gets on top of him, straddling his hips and grinding down on him, both of their cocks getting harder with each rhythmic movement that Gerard’s hips make as he begins dry humping Frank. Frank reaches up and tightly tangles his fingers in Gerard’s longish black hair as they continue to make out feverishly with both men’s lips now slippery with their mixed saliva. Frank moans lightly and arches his back when Gerard starts planting wet kisses down his neck and to his chest and whispers, “You’re fucking beautiful...” against his skin.

Gerard’s lips kiss down to Frank’s left nipple and he starts tracing his tongue around it before flicking the moist tip of it right over the tiny, sensitive bump. Frank arches his back again and whimpers a bit, making Gerard smirk to himself as he can tell he’s blowing this kid’s mind right now. It’s at this point that Frank suddenly starts overthinking and asking himself, _what the fuck am I doing and why do I like it so much?_

“Gerard, stop. Get off,” Frank says suddenly, sounding anxious as he presses the palms of his hands against Gerard’s firm, bare chest. “I can’t do this. I’m not even gay,” he continues.

Gerard immediately gets off of Frank and lies next to him as the younger man sits up in bed. “Frank, chill—not everything needs to have a label. And maybe you’re not gay, but so what? I could tell you were into what we did just now... Passion isn’t really something you can fake,” Gerard says.

Frank is sort of furious that Gerard is able to read him like this—he wants nothing more than to deny his true feelings right now because he’s fucking scared of them and he’s having a hard time accepting the fact that he’s probably not straight like he’d thought he was throughout his entire life so far. Feeling absolutely overwhelmed, Frank gets out of bed and heads into the bathroom where he locks himself inside.


	7. Chapter 7

Frank is leaning over the bathroom sink with his forearms resting on the countertop and his body shaking from anxiety. He wants nothing more than to feel the sweet sedation of the opiates he’d just gotten clean from washing over him and sending him into complete oblivion—anything to kill these anxious thoughts in his brain. He’s disgusted with himself for what he’s just done with Gerard and he hates himself for fucking liking it. He glances down at his dick which is still tenting the front of his boxers and when he looks up again he can’t even meet his own eyes in the mirror. It’s not even just the fact that Gerard is a guy, it’s also the fact that he can’t believe he made out with a fucking _killer_ and that he probably would have done more with the man if his brain hadn’t suddenly assaulted him with these anxious thoughts. Frank doesn’t even really know shit about Gerard; he literally has no information about the man besides knowing that he’s a contract killer. 

“Hey. You good?” Gerard asks suddenly through the closed bathroom door, causing Frank to immediately turn his head towards the sound. Frank has been in the bathroom for over twenty minutes now and Gerard is starting to wonder if he’s okay. The last thing he wants is to leave Frank alone in there without checking on him in case he’s hurting himself or something.

Frank clears his throat and takes a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves so that Gerard can’t tell just how bothered he is by what has just happened between them. He looks down at the front of his boxers again and feels sick to his stomach. He shakes his head briefly before opening the door, and when he does, he’s a little startled to see Gerard standing right in front of him, leaning on his shoulder against the doorframe. Frank sees that Gerard is now fully clothed in his all-black outfit and he feels super awkward standing there wearing only his boxers still while Gerard looks him up and down.

“You gonna answer me?” Gerard asks, straightening up his posture as he does and trying to read the look that’s on Frank’s face right now.

Frank shifts on the spot a little, not making eye contact with Gerard because of his anxiety. “Yeah, I’m good,” he says, pushing past the other man and walking towards the bed. ”I’m gonna go out for a bit.” 

“Out where?” Gerard asks, following behind Frank curiously like a little duckling following its mother.

Frank shrugs. “I dunno. I just need to be by myself for a while. Need a cigarette, too,” he says as he redresses himself in his grey T-shit and his blue jeans with the ripped knees.

“Okay,” Gerard says, nodding, though he’s a little worried about Frank’s current state of mind. He can tell there’s something wrong and he knows it has something to do with what they’ve just done together. “You upset with me?” he asks carefully, watching Frank finish dressing himself.

“No,” Frank says quickly, meeting Gerard’s eyes briefly before sitting down on the edge of the bed to push his feet into his black slip-on shoes. “Why?”

“Just seems like you are,” Gerard says, shrugging a bit. He can’t help feeling a little frustrated and bummed out that Frank is shutting him out after they’ve just been intimate for the first time. He’s pretty sure they would have gone further than making out and dry-humping if Frank hadn’t gotten weird about it.

“Well, I’m not,” Frank says once his shoes are on. “I’ll be back soon,” he says, getting up from the bed and making his way over to the door. 

“Can we hug before you go?” Gerard asks, following Frank to the door. He instantly feels stupid for asking and he’s acutely aware that he sounds desperate as fuck for affection, but damn, is he ever... It’s been so long since anyone genuinely wanted to be close to him and now that he’s had a taste of it again he just needs it and just wants to wrap and tangle himself up in Frank’s body like before. 

Frank gives Gerard a cute little half-smile and steps towards him and wraps his arms around the man’s shoulders. Gerard in turn wraps his arms snugly around Frank’s waist and closes his eyes, tucking his face against the crook of Frank’s neck. They stay holding each other like that for a while; longer than Frank had anticipated, although he has to admit he enjoys the way Gerard is pulling him up close against his body.

“Stay?” Gerard asks, his voice slightly muffled from his lips being pressed against Frank’s neck. 

Frank sighs and shrugs himself out of the embrace that they’re in, leaving Gerard’s arms cold and longing to hold Frank again. Frank notices Gerard’s face fall slightly as he pulls away and is genuinely surprised at how much Gerard seems to care for him. He feels like everything is moving so quickly and he needs space to figure out how he feels about it all.

“My head’s messed up right now...I really just need some time by myself,” Frank says. 

Gerard picks up a hint of something familiar in Frank’s eyes, then; a hunger—but not for anything nourishing. It’s a different kind of hunger, and he recalls having the same look in his eyes when he was deep into his drug addiction and was anxious to get his next fix...

“You wanna talk about it?” Gerard asks, hoping that Frank will open up and let him help him through whatever it is he’s dealing with inside his head.

Frank shakes his head firmly. “No. Definitely not. I just wanna walk around by myself and smoke cigarettes and try to clear my head,” he says, looking restless as he shifts his weight back and forth on his feet where he stands.

“All right. Well, stay safe, okay? Don’t go too far. And don’t talk to anyone,” Gerard says.

Frank rolls his eyes. “You sound like my mom. She used to say that kinda shit to me any time I left the house alone when I was a kid,” he says. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can. I’m just looking out for you. You know I care about you, right?” Gerard says.

Frank blushes and looks down at his feet for a second. He’s painfully aware of how much Gerard cares for him. “I’m gonna go...” he says awkwardly, turning towards the door and unlocking it. Gerard really wants to pull Frank in for a kiss before he leaves, wants to tell him that everything’s going to be okay, but he holds himself back, thinking he’s probably putting too much on Frank right now as it is when he’s clearly struggling with his identity and self-acceptance. He hopes that Frank won’t do anything irresponsible while he’s out, but he knows that Frank is (barely) an adult and is free to make his own choices, good or bad. Frank opens the door and walks out without looking back.

Now alone in the hotel room, Gerard lies down on his back on top of the disheveled blankets and stares up at the ceiling, studying the patterns in the plaster as he gets lost in his thoughts. He thinks about how much he likes Frank and catches himself grinning like a fool as he lies there thinking about him. He can’t believe how hard he’s fallen for this kid in just a few days. Even more surprising to him is the fact that Frank is beginning to seem like he’s into him, too. Gerard is just hoping that Frank’s interest in him isn’t just Frank being curious and using Gerard as a way to figure out who he is...

Gerard also thinks about how Mason has most definitely figured out by now that Gerard had skipped town and hadn’t completed the job he’d been hired to do. He wonders if Mason is trying to track down Frank and himself at this very moment. He’s not sure what lengths Mason will go to to try and find them, but somehow he thinks (wishfully) that Mason will just give up at some point because the time and resources won’t be worth the actual threat that the two of them pose to him and his illegal business operation. Gerard sighs, tired of thinking about shit, and rolls over onto his side. He stares at the door, wishing Frank would just walk back in now...

*

Frank finally returns to the hotel room over two hours after he’d left and Gerard immediately gets up from the bed when he hears the door open. When he walks over he can tell instantly by Frank’s eyes and demeanour that he’s fucked up on something and the realization makes him furious—not at Frank, but at the scumbag who sold the stuff to him. 

“What the fuck did you take?” Gerard asks, jaw clenched. 

“Nothing,” Frank slurs, shaking his head and sounding defensive and just acting all around shifty with his eyes and movements. He toes his shoes off as he stands in the doorway and avoids eye contact with Gerard.

“Don’t bullshit me. Tell me what you’re fucking on and who you got it from,” Gerard says firmly. 

Frank sees no point in lying now and he can tell that Gerard is upset so he decides to just confess. “I took some oxys...” Frank admits. “I bought them from some guy who was selling at this bar on 1st Avenue,” he adds. 

Gerard immediately finds and puts on his black leather jacket and grabs his gun and tucks it into the inside pocket. Then he puts on his black combat boots and says to Frank, “Get your shoes back on. Let’s go.”

“What? Where?” Frank asks nervously, not sure what’s going on or why Gerard is bringing his gun. 

“We’re gonna find the piece of shit who sold to you,” Gerard says. “I’m gonna teach him a lesson...make sure he never fuckin’ sells anything ever again.” 

“Gerard... _no_ ,” Frank pleads, his sedated eyes widening with the uncertainty of not knowing just exactly what kind of atrocities Gerard is capable of. “It was my own decision to buy from him. It’s _me_ you should be upset with,” he says. He goes over to the door and stands in front of it, blocking the way out. 

Gerard is not changing his mind about this though—he’s determined to get his revenge on this random dealer who sold to _his_ friend who’d only just gotten clean a few days ago. Frank can see the dangerous determination in the man’s eyes. 

“I’m doing this with or without you, but without you it will take a lot longer to find this fuck,” Gerard says through gritted teeth. The way Frank is blocking the door with his body is irritating him. “Get out of the way,” he says, trying hard to keep his voice even and not yell. 

“Are you gonna kill him?” Frank asks. His voice is shaking slightly and he’s continuing to slur his words; he’s barely able to keep his eyes open because of the sedating pills he’d taken and it fucking breaks Gerard’s heart to see him high after what he’d gone through to get sober over the last few days.

“No, I’m not gonna kill him,” Gerard says. “I _am_ gonna fucking hurt him bad and make him wish he was dead, though,” he says coldly.

Frank swallows audibly, suddenly afraid of the man who’s standing in front of him. It’s like Gerard is a different person right now and it makes him feel incredibly unsettled. Gerard recognizes the fear in Frank’s eyes and it makes him calm down a little bit; the last thing he wants is for Frank to be afraid of him. He lets out a deep breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding in and slowly steps forward towards Frank, feeling guilty when he sees the kid tense up with fear when he gets close enough to touch him.

Gerard gently places his hands on Frank’s hips as Frank nervously looks down at the floor. “I’m sorry,” Gerard says softly. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Frank finally gains the courage to look up and Gerard sees that his hazel-green eyes are filled to the brim with tears which spill out and roll down his cheeks as soon as he blinks. Gerard’s expression instantly changes into one of concern. “I’m so fucking sorry, Frank,” he apologizes again, hating the fact that he’d made the kid cry. He brings his hands up to Frank’s face and wipes the tears off his cheeks with his thumbs. 

Frank sniffs and shakes his head. “It’s fine, whatever...” he mumbles, squirming his way out from between Gerard and the door. He walks over to the bed and sits down on the edge of it.

“It’s not, though,” Gerard begins, turning around so he’s facing Frank. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re not safe with me,” he says. 

“How many people have you hurt or killed, anyway?” Frank asks, seemingly out of nowhere. He’s glaring at Gerard; he wants answers. He wants to know just exactly how dangerous the man he kissed is. 

Gerard is a little taken aback by the bluntness of the question. “I don’t keep track. It’s not like it’s something I’m proud of,” he says.

“So, that many, huh?” Frank says, nodding at the cold realization, and Gerard can hear the judgement in his tone of voice.

“Where is all of this coming from? First you fuck off right after we start doing shit and then you come back high out of your mind asking me how many people I’ve killed? What the hell is going on with you? You seemed fine before we got here.”

“ _What’s going on with me_? Are you seriously fucking asking me that?” Frank snaps, raising his voice. “You kidnapped me and took me hostage, you fuck! I got high again tonight ‘cause I just wanted to try and kill the pain of hating myself for being attracted to another guy, especially one who’s a fucking murderer and a criminal. I don’t know shit about you, Gerard. I just know that I feel fucking dirty after what we did.”

“Why are you trying so hard to hate me? I know that you don’t,” Gerard says matter-of-factly. “And let’s not forget that you said you wanted me to kiss you. You wanted it, Frank. You can either accept who you are or let it ruin you. Disconnect your fucking brain for a second and just let yourself _feel_ something for once without trying to mask your true emotions with pills and whatever else. I’ve seen you fighting yourself; I see it in your eyes. It’s fucking hard to watch you pretend to be straight and to pretend not to like me, if I’m being honest,” Gerard says.

Frank is once again furious at Gerard’s ability to read him like a book. Fuming with anger and embarrassment, he impulsively gets up and storms over to Gerard, and without thinking he swings and punches the man hard in the face, his fist hitting Gerard square in the jaw. 

Gerard is completely stunned for a moment and he just stands there processing the feeling of the throbbing pain in his jaw. Frank’s heart is pounding as he shakes out his sore right hand—he knows he’s just done something completely and utterly stupid but he’s just so fucking angry and stoned and he’s not thinking clearly. Gerard is pissed that Frank hit him, but he’s about to just let it go, that is, until Frank hits him again, this time in the nose, making his eyes instantly water. 

It’s after this second blow that Gerard decides he’s done being a fucking punching bag for this kid. Gerard swings and punches Frank just below his left eye, not using his full strength, but hitting the younger man hard enough to send him stumbling backwards and making him fall to the floor. Frank starts to get up but Gerard firmly plants one of his boot-clad feet down hard on Frank’s chest, knocking the air out of his lungs and causing him to lie flat on the floor, struggling under the pressure of Gerard stepping on him. Gerard feels warmth on his upper lip and wipes his nose with the back of his hand; he sees blood smeared across it when he brings it down again to look at it. 

Gerard finally takes his foot off of Frank’s chest after a moment and Frank lies there gasping for air. Gerard then gets onto his knees, straddling Frank’s hips and pins his arms above his head. “You done acting like a fuckin’ tough guy?” Gerard asks in a low voice as they hold intense eye contact. 

Frank nods as he stares up at the man who’s glowering down at him. He can tell that Gerard is pissed but he knows the man wouldn’t have hit him if he hadn’t thrown hands first. Frank hates to admit it but he’s kind of enjoying the dominance Gerard is exerting over him right now; he’s enjoying being under Gerard’s control with the man’s strong hands tightly gripping his scabbed wrists and pinning him down hard against the carpeted floor... 

Gerard can feel the tension building between them. His intuitive nature is telling him that Frank is fucking enjoying this and the hardness he feels straining against his inner thigh confirms his suspicions. 

Frank’s sort of in a daze because he doesn’t know what he wants—he’s incredibly turned on right now and he wants to feel the more experienced man’s hands all over his body, but he’s also repulsed that he wants this because of the awful things he knows Gerard has done to other people and because of his shame at being attracted to another man. He knows Gerard is right, though: he has to accept himself for who he is and what he wants or it will end up ruining him. 

“You don’t ever wanna hit me again—I went easy on you this time. I’ll never just stand there and take a beating from someone no matter how much I care about them. You understand that, don’t you?”

Frank nods without speaking, never once breaking eye contact with Gerard. 

“Did I hurt you?” Gerard asks, his voice softer now as he examines Frank’s now swollen left eye. He lets go of Frank’s wrists and sits back on his hips, enjoying the position they’re in. 

Frank silently shakes his head. 

“Okay,” Gerard says, relieved. “Where are the rest of those pills you bought?” he asks. He knows there’s more than what Frank had taken when he was out earlier.

“Front pocket of my jeans,” Frank says dreamily, giving up easy even though he knows Gerard is probably gonna flush them once he hands them over. He does regret taking them, though, and deep down he’s glad that Gerard is keeping him accountable.

“Give ‘em here,” Gerard says, holding out his hand.

Frank reaches into the front pocket of his jeans and pulls out a little bag that’s holding a few small white pills. He places the bag into Gerard’s open hand and then Gerard gets off of him and goes straight to the bathroom to flush the pills just as Frank had silently predicted. Gerard also cleans up his bloody nose after seeing his gory reflection in the bathroom mirror. He then returns to Frank who’s still lying on the floor in the middle of the room and holds out his hand to pull the younger man to his feet. Frank dizzily sways on the spot where he’s standing and Gerard places an arm firmly around his waist to steady him. 

“Let’s get you to bed,” Gerard says, seeing that Frank needs to sleep this off. 

Gerard leads Frank over to the bed and helps him undress down to his boxers before tucking him into bed underneath the blankets. Gerard gets in and lies down next to Frank, sighing tiredly as he does. 

“I’m sorry, Gerard,” Frank says quietly after a few moments of them lying there in silence. 

Gerard turns his head to face Frank and finds that Frank is already looking at him, and looking as though he’s about to pass out. 

“I fucked up and I acted like an asshole to you,” Frank says dazedly and apologetically, trying hard to keep his eyes open now.

“It’s okay, Frank; so did I. I’m sorry, too,” Gerard says.

“Can we kiss goodnight?” Frank asks, looking adorably hopeful even in his heavily sedated state and not realizing that it’s not nighttime yet.

Gerard can’t help but smile because he finds it really cute that Frank is asking. He doesn’t say anything, just leans in and softly kisses Frank; nothing special, just a simple, soft kiss on the mouth that seems to make everything better.


	8. Chapter 8

Frank slowly awakens with his brain feeling all foggy and disoriented. He’s not sure where he is at first when he opens his eyes and it’s a strange feeling that makes him uneasy. He sits up in the king size bed and scans the room, which is lit with white daylight streaming in from behind the closed blinds, and soon remembers that he’s at a hotel in Seattle. He recalls relapsing and taking pills last night and he feels sick to his stomach with regret and feels like hurting himself because of the disappointment he feels in himself for using again. He glances down at the empty spot in the bed beside him where the blankets are pulled back revealing the wrinkled imprint left from a body that used to lie there. He suddenly feels a surge of panic come over him as he realizes that he doesn’t know where Gerard is. He jumps out of bed and heads to the bathroom to check if Gerard is in there—he’s not. 

_Fuck_ , Frank thinks, _What if something happened to him? What if he had to abandon me here because Mason found him?_

Frank goes back to the bed and pulls his knees into his chest as he sits in the middle of it with his body starting to shake from the anxiety he feels. He feels paralyzed by all of the worst case scenario thoughts that are plaguing his mind right now and he doesn’t know what to do...

Suddenly Frank hears a quiet, high pitched _beep_ and then a _click_ and the hotel room door swings open. Gerard steps into the room carrying a plate of fruit and pastries from the hotel breakfast buffet in one hand and a paper mug of something hot in the other hand. His black hair looks shiny but not greasy, like he’d actually washed and combed it for once. A huge wave of relief washes over Frank when he sees Gerard; he‘s never been happier to see someone.

“Hey,” Gerard says, looking over at Frank briefly as the weighted hotel room door swings shut behind him. He walks over towards the desk which is across from the bed and sets the plate and cup down on it. “Got you some breakfast from downstairs. I dunno what you like so I just put a bit of everything on the plate. Thought you might be hungry and the breakfast buffet is only open until 11—didn’t want you to miss it,” he continues.

Frank just continues to sit there silently on the bed with his knees pulled into his chest and a blank expression on his face, and Gerard is completely unaware that he’s just caught Frank in the midst of a frantic internal panic. 

Gerard looks over at Frank again, curious as he hasn’t heard him speak at all since he walked into the room. He notices the strange, vacant expression on his face and goes over to the bed and sits down on the edge of it. “You okay?” he asks.

Frank shakes his head and feels an outburst of emotion overtake him and his eyes begin to well up with tears. Without thinking, he throws his arms around Gerard’s shoulders and falls against his body as he begins to sob, almost pushing Gerard off the edge of the bed as he does. Gerard is startled for a moment, but he tightly wraps his arms around Frank and lets him cry on his shoulder. 

“Shh...it’s okay, it’s okay,” Gerard whispers, rubbing Frank’s back comfortingly. He’s not sure exactly why Frank is crying but he can feel his pain in the way his body is trembling as the tears just come and come. “Why’re you so upset, huh? Talk to me,” he says gently as Frank sobs against him.

Frank pulls back after a moment and wipes his eyes with his hands, noticing that his left eye feels bruised to the touch as he wipes the tears away from it. Gerard notices Frank wince as he wipes his eyes and sees a soft purplish bruise underneath his slightly swollen left eye.

“When I woke up and you were gone I just thought you left me here...like, I thought that maybe Mason had found you or something and that you had no choice but to just leave me here by myself to figure shit out on my own,” Frank sniffs. “And then when I saw you walk in just now...I guess I just wasn’t expecting how relieved and happy I felt to see you and it just...it surprised me.”

Gerard bites his lip and tries not to laugh because he just finds Frank so adorable. “So, I leave you alone for thirty minutes to smoke a cigarette and get you some breakfast and your first thought is that Mason fuckin’ took me out?” he asks, unable to hold back chuckling any longer.

Frank instantly feels embarrassed as he now realizes how insane his thought process had been. “Are you making fun of me?” he asks.

“Making fun of you? I would never do that,” Gerard says. “I just find it cute that that was your first thought when you saw I wasn’t here when you woke up. I’m also glad that you were happy to see me when I walked in.”

Frank blushes and looks down at his lap for a second, trying not to acknowledge or let it show how fucking soft he feels for Gerard right now. 

Gerard smiles, wondering if Frank knows how cute he is when he’s blushing. “How are you feeling?” he asks.

Frank looks up, not sure if Gerard is referring to his bruised eye or to his pill hangover or to what they did last night or to just...everything. “To be honest...I’m not feeling all that great. I mean, I’m just so fucking disappointed in myself for using again last night. Like, I’m so fucking pathetic. I couldn’t even go a full week sober without relapsing. I’m the fucking worst.”

“Hey, saying that kinda shit to yourself isn’t gonna help you get better. In fact, it’ll do the opposite,” Gerard says firmly. “Don’t beat yourself up about relapsing—just learn from it and move forward. That’s the only way you’re gonna get past this. And I promise I’ll help you through it.”

Frank feels his eyes well up with tears again but he blinks them back before they have a chance to fall because he’s embarrassed to cry in front of Gerard again. It’s just that he feels so touched and honestly so cared for by this man who is basically a stranger to him—more cared for than he’s felt in a long time. It’s making him emotional. 

“Why are you so nice to me?” Frank asks, looking up at Gerard with an expression of awe on his face. He still doesn’t understand why Gerard decided to save his life and why he cares about him so much.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Gerard replies honestly with a little half-smile forming on his face, and Frank smiles back.

“I’ve honestly never met anyone that has like, _actually_ cared about my well-being. Well, besides my parents. But, still...” Frank says. 

“Come on; you must have dated people who’ve cared about you...” Gerard says, really just curious to learn about Frank’s relationship history.

Frank shakes his head. “I’ve never really dated anyone seriously before. I’ve only had like, casual hookups,” he says. “And I’m pretty damn sure that not a single one of those girls actually cared about me.”

“Huh. That’s too bad.”

“What about you? Have you ever been with someone who really cared about you?”

Gerard chuckles darkly, recalling his ex-boyfriend. “Well, I _thought_ he cared about me. We’d started dating when I was nineteen and I was with him for almost 8 years before I realized he never really gave a shit. We used to rob places together and there was this one time—the last time—that he got arrested and I got away. When he was being questioned in custody he ratted on me in exchange for a shorter sentence like it was nothing. First chance he got. I spent 5 years in jail because of him.”

“Shit...that fucking sucks, man,” Frank says, shaking his head. “How old are you now, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

“Thirty-five.” 

“Oh. I’m twenty-one.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Gerard says without thinking.

Frank raises an eyebrow curiously. “What do you mean “you know?”” he asks. 

Gerard sighs, already regretting saying what he’s about to say to Frank. “Mason has this... _file_ on you. I’m pretty sure he has one on everyone who works—or worked—for him. Anyway, it has your date of birth and a bunch of other shit in there.” 

“”A bunch of other shit?”” Frank echoes. “Like what?” he asks, curious to know just what exactly Mason knows about him. 

“Like where you went to school and some stuff about your family,” Gerard says, scratching his neck and feeling awkward.

Frank’s brow furrows. “So, you’ve known all that shit about me this entire time yet it’s been like pulling teeth for me to get you to tell me anything about yourself?” he says heatedly, obviously upset. 

Gerard sighs. “There’s things about me...things that I’ve done that you never should ever know...” he says.

“Yeah? And why’s that?” Frank asks challengingly, still pissed off at the realization that Gerard knows way more about him than he knows about Gerard. “‘Cause you feel guilty?”

Gerard shakes his head. “Have you ever been to jail?” he asks.

“Uh...no,” Frank replies, not sure where Gerard is going with this. “I’m sure my _file_ already told you that, though,” he adds snarkily.

“Once you’ve been to jail, you do whatever you fucking can to make sure you never end up in there again. That means either turning your life around or becoming better at not getting caught. I obviously went with the latter. And that means not telling strangers my entire life story.”

“What? You think I’m gonna rat on you or something?”

“No. I just know that the less people know about me, the better chance I have of not getting fucking arrested.”

“So, what you’re saying is that you have trust issues,” Frank says bluntly, raising an eyebrow. 

Gerard goes slightly red in the face at hearing Frank call him out like that. “No,” he lies defensively. “What I’m saying is that I’m _cautious_. Especially when it comes to people I’ve just met a week ago,” he says, obviously referring to Frank.

“Yeah, okay,” Frank says, rolling his eyes, unconvinced. “It would totally make sense if you did have trust issues after what your ex did to you.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t,” Gerard says definitively.

There’s a moment of silence before Frank speaks. “Do you _ever_ feel guilty though?” he asks. He’s genuinely curious if Gerard feels remorse for the crimes he’s committed, and knowing the answer will help him to determine Gerard’s character—whether he’s a sociopath or just a regular guy who’d gotten mixed up in a life of crime and had never been able to get out. 

Gerard is silent for a moment. “Do you know how it feels to fucking _know_ , without a doubt, that you’re going to hell?” he asks. Frank swallows audibly and doesn’t answer, feeling thick tension fill the air between them. “I’m past the point of guilt, Frank. At this point I just fucking hate myself,” Gerard says.

Frank’s face falls slightly. “I know that feeling, too,” he says quietly, looking down for a moment.

“I’m sorry,” Gerard says, genuinely sad that Frank is familiar with it. 

Frank shrugs. “It’s okay,” he says. “I’ve been depressed for a long fucking time; the self-hatred doesn’t even really phase me anymore.” 

Gerard’s heart sinks and then starts to race and he’s suddenly unable to listen to anymore of this without fucking destroying whoever or whatever had made Frank feel this way about himself. “Stop,” he says to himself, closing his eyes for a moment, trying to stop the rage that’s building up inside him. 

Frank stays silent, recalling how quickly Gerard’s behaviour can escalate when something’s irritating him. “Did I say something wrong?” he asks, his voice shaking slightly. 

Gerard opens his eyes and looks at Frank. “What? No, baby; you didn’t,” he says, placing a hand affectionately on Frank’s knee and not even caring that he’d let the pet name slip again. 

Frank feels his stomach sink pleasantly at hearing Gerard call him “baby” again. “Then what’s the matter?” he asks gently.

Gerard shakes his head. “You don’t want inside my head—trust me,” he says, his eyes narrowing slightly. Frank can tell that he’s dead serious right now and wonders what exactly he’s thinking. Maybe Gerard would never hurt him, but he has a sinking feeling that it wouldn’t take much for him to hurt someone else, especially after how he’d threatened to hurt the person who’d sold those pills to him last night.

“Gerard...how did you get into the kind of... _work_ that you do?” Frank asks. 

“I don’t like discussing my work,” Gerard says, averting his gaze away from Frank’s. His voice sounds colder and more deliberate than it had before and it gives Frank a shiver. 

Frank swallows audibly, nervous about probing further but needing to know more. “I just...I wanna know more about your past. Like...why do you do what you do...killing people? Do you _like_ it?”

“Fuck no,” Gerard says quickly. “I don’t enjoy it—it’s not like that. I just do it for the money.”

“Well, can’t you find something you actually enjoy?” Frank asks. He just doesn’t understand Gerard’s reasoning or his motives.

“Listen: I already told you I don’t like talking about my work. Now, would you please just drop it?” Gerard says irritably.

“Yeah, sorry,” Frank says quickly, looking down for a moment. He knows he’d pushed it with all the questions.

Gerard’s frustrated with the position he’s being put in. He wants to be honest with Frank and tell him about his past and everything, but at the same time he doesn’t want to risk losing Frank’s trust after he finds out about all the evil shit he’s done in his life, even if he would never even dream of doing some of those things now. 

“I’m sorry for snapping at you,” Gerard says after a while of them sitting on the bed in silence. He understands that Frank just wants to get to know him better and it’s not the kid’s fault that he hates talking about himself. He feels bad for taking out his frustrations on Frank. “I know I’m an asshole sometimes.”

“It’s fine,” Frank says with a little shrug. “After all, I’m the one who punched you in the face yesterday. Twice.”

Gerard chuckles. “Yeah, that’s true,” he says, smirking a little. 

“I’m really sorry about that, by the way,” Frank says.

Gerard waves his hand dismissively. “You already apologized last night; it’s all good.”

Frank looks confused. “I did?” he asks.

“Yeah. We both did. It was literally right before you passed out.”

“Oh...I don’t remember,” Frank says, his brow furrowing as he tries to think of what he remembers from last night. All he remembers is making out with Gerard, panicking and then leaving to buy drugs and get high, coming back to the hotel, fighting with Gerard and ending up being pinned down by him on the floor...

“I’m guessing you also don’t remember asking me if we could kiss goodnight then...” Gerard says.

Frank’s eyes widen a bit and his cheeks turn pink from embarrassment and Gerard laughs.

“I really asked you that?” 

“Yeah, you did,” Gerard says, chuckling at the look of disbelief on Frank’s face.

“And...did we?”

“Yeah. You think I’d say no to you?”

“Damn...” Frank says, surprised that he’d actually been bold enough to ask Gerard if they could kiss and kinda bummed that the memory has escaped him. 

“What?”

“I just...wish I could remember it,” Frank says.

“Ask me again, then,” Gerard says, hoping that Frank will go for this.

Frank smiles and blushes. “You’re really gonna make me ask?”

“Yeah, I wanna hear you say it again,” Gerard says, smirking.

Frank laughs nervously and looks down at his lap for a moment before looking up at Gerard with his beautiful hazel-green eyes. “Can we kiss?” he asks, his cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink yet again.

Gerard feels his heart soften and he smiles as he leans in close to Frank. “Yeah,” he says softly before closing the small gap between them and gently pressing his lips against Frank’s. 

Frank absolutely melts into the kiss and doesn’t let himself think twice before closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around Gerard’s waist. Gerard gently sucks Frank’s bottom lip into his mouth and places one hand on Frank’s bare hip and the other on the back of his neck, lightly tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck as they continue to make out. Gerard is more than surprised when he feels Frank’s hands begin to lift the bottom hem of his shirt. He opens his eyes and parts their lips and Frank’s staring right back at him with a lustful look in his eyes.

“Off,” Frank says simply, not breaking eye contact with Gerard as he continues to lift the man’s shirt up. He’s fucking nervous as hell and he’s fighting the anxious thoughts that are telling him that he should feel ashamed of himself, but he knows he wants this and he’s pretty sure he’s wanted this for a while but had been too scared to admit it to himself.

Gerard willingly lifts his arms up, allowing Frank to pull his black shirt off of him, up and over his head, before tossing it onto the floor beside the bed. Frank looks Gerard’s body up and down, noticing the rounded outline of his toned biceps, recalling the strength of them pinning his own arms above his head last night as he laid on the floor. He wants to feel Gerard’s dominance again... Before he even realizes what he’s doing, his hands are on Gerard’s upper arms and he’s slowly rubbing them up and down, feeling the outline of his defined muscles and feeling blood rush pleasantly below his waist...

Gerard smirks, enjoying watching Frank’s somewhat concentrated expression as he feels his muscles. Without warning he flexes his biceps, making them bulge out twice as much, and watches Frank’s eyes widen.

“Shit...” Frank says, his voice just a whisper as he squeezes Gerard’s bulging biceps, getting even more turned on.

“You like that?” Gerard asks, still watching Frank’s face.

Frank nods. “Fuck yeah,” he says, finally looking up to meet Gerard’s eyes, his hands still feeling on his arms. Frank can feel himself getting harder by the second just imagining Gerard’s strong arms manhandling him again...

“What else do you like?” Gerard asks. He looks down briefly and sees that the front of Frank’s boxers are tented by his hardened cock and he has to bite the inside of his lip to stop himself from just going for it.

“That’s for you to find out...” Frank says, smirking a little when Gerard looks up at him again. 

Gerard smirks back, loving the challenge. “Yeah?” he says, putting his hands on Frank’s shoulders and firmly pushing him down onto the bed so that he’s lying on his back. He gets on top of the smaller man’s body, straddling his hips, and holds his wrists down at his sides with all his body weight. Frank moans lightly as he looks up at Gerard above him and lifts his hips a bit, trying to rub himself against Gerard but failing. “You like being restrained, don’t you?” Gerard asks, looking down at Frank, getting turned on by his neediness and the look of his small body beneath him and the tattooed sparrows on his lower abdomen.

“Yeah,” Frank says, nodding, looking up at Gerard’s strong shoulders and arms as he pins his wrists down. 

Gerard lowers himself and kisses Frank, slipping his tongue into his mouth and sucking on his lips and tongue and enjoying the little whimpering sounds Frank’s making and the way he’s lifting his hips and rubbing his hard cock against his own which is straining against the front of his tight black jeans. He places a few open-mouthed kisses down Frank’s neck, making him moan a bit louder, and then kisses down his chest and his stomach before scooting back to kiss the sparrows lower down on his abdomen, still holding Frank’s wrists down the entire time. He stops when his face is just inches above Frank’s cock which is tenting the front of his boxers with its hardness. 

Frank lifts his head and tries to lean up on his elbows to see Gerard’s face but it’s hard with the way he’s being pinned down. Gerard realizes this and lets go of his wrists.

“Can I touch you?” Gerard asks, looking up at Frank.

Frank’s leaning up on his elbows now, looking down at Gerard, meeting his gaze. “Yeah,” he says, nodding. 

“Can I suck you off and make you come?” Gerard asks. 

“Fuck yeah,” Frank says breathily, feeling his cock get even harder at those words. 

Gerard smirks at Frank’s response and firmly rubs his face against his hard cock, letting it press against his cheek through the fabric of his boxers. He feels a small wet spot against his cheek at one point and figures it’s Frank’s precum soaking through. 

“Gerard, please...” Frank moans. He’s not sure what he‘s even asking for, just knows he’s fucking enjoying being teased like this.

“Hmm? What is it, Frankie?” Gerard asks teasingly, still rubbing his face all over Frank’s cock.

“You know what I want,” Frank says needily. 

Gerard hooks his fingers under the waistband of Frank’s boxers and pulls them down to the middle of his thighs, letting his hard cock slap black lightly against his belly as he does. “Goddamn...” Gerard says under his breath when he sees Frank’s cock up close, the head flushed pink and slick with clear precum. He takes the shaft in his hand and guides the head into his mouth, sucking on it lightly, tasting him.

“Oh _fuck_...” Frank moans loudly, throwing his head back and closing his eyes as he feels electric pleasure ripple throughout his body like the first sweet rush of a drug. 

Gerard’s way too turned on right now to continue his cock-teasing; he takes Frank’s entire length down his throat and bobs up and down on it, getting it nice and slick with saliva as he sucks on it hard and fast.

“Oh my _God_ , that feels amazing...you’re so fucking good at that, Gerard,” Frank says breathily. 

Gerard lifts his mouth off of Frank’s cock with a _pop_ sound. “You have a fuckin’ nice dick,” he says, looking up at Frank as he slaps the head against his tongue a few times. 

The way Gerard’s looking up at Frank while he’s playing with the younger man’s cock makes Frank absolutely crazy. “ _Fuck_ ,” Frank says, throwing his head back again as Gerard takes him back into his mouth, adding his hand to stroke up and down the shaft while he sucks on the head. It’s not long before Frank feels like he’s reaching his climax. “You’re gonna make me fucking come....” he warns after a while of getting expertly sucked off. 

Gerard pulls his lips off of Frank’s cock again and just starts jerking him off, eagerly anticipating watching his cum spurt up onto his torso as he orgasms. He meets Frank’s eyes and they just stare each other down intensely as Frank gets closer and closer to blowing his load. “You look _so_ fucking sexy right now. You know that, don’t you?” Gerard says, continuing to jerk Frank’s cock back and forth in his hand. “Just wanna watch you fucking come all over yourself...you gonna come for me?”

“Yes...fuck yes...” Frank moans, right on the edge now.

“Fuckin’ blow that load for me, boy...” Gerard says, his eyes still locked onto Frank’s.

At that, Frank’s orgasm begins to ripple through his body, sending pulsing jolts of pleasure from his head to his toes as his sticky, milky-white cum spurts up onto his stomach and chest in thin ropes. Gerard feels even more blood rush down to his cock as he watches Frank blow his huge load: his mouth is agape, eyes are closed, hands are both all white-knuckled as he tightly grips the blankets below him; he’s moaning and cursing and Gerard thinks it’s so fucking hot watching Frank unravel for him like this...loves the power he has over this kid right now as he’s coming all over himself and all over Gerard’s fist.

Gerard begins to slow down his hand’s rhythm and lets Frank come down from the height of his climax a bit before getting off of him and lying down next to him on the bed, just watching the younger man lying there breathing quickly but softly with his eyes closed and looking satisfied as fuck. The amount of cum that’s decorating Frank’s stomach and chest right now is so pleasing for Gerard to look at and it makes him wonder when the last time Frank got off was. Gerard feels his stiff cock still straining against the front of his tight black jeans and can’t help his mind wandering, thinking about fucking the beautiful boy who’s lying naked in bed next to him...

Frank feels like he’s floating as he lies there in his post-orgasm daze. He really can’t believe how good Gerard had made him feel and wishes it never had to end. A smile plays upon his lips when he feels Gerard’s lips on his neck, placing soft, open-mouthed kisses against his skin as his hair tickles Frank’s cheek. He opens his eyes and dazedly looks up at the ceiling.

“You’re fucking amazing, Gerard...” he says with a cute, lazy half-smile on his face, feeling like he’s about to fall asleep with how relaxed he feels right now.

Gerard chuckles into the crook of Frank’s neck, still placing wet kisses against his soft, warm skin, leaving marks, thinking he could definitely get used to this...


	9. Chapter 9

Gerard awakens with his jean-covered legs intertwined with Frank’s bare ones. The younger man’s head is resting on Gerard’s bare chest and he’s snoring lightly and looking absolutely angelic. Gerard gets a pleasant shiver down his spine as he remembers the way Frank had completely lost it as he’d orgasmed by Gerard’s hand not long before. He smiles to himself and kisses the top of Frank’s head before looking over at the clock to see that it’s just past noon. He’s surprised that he’d actually fallen asleep; he remembers kissing Frank’s neck after he came and then making out with him for a long while, and then he guesses they’d just laid there with each other until their eyes started closing and then fell asleep cuddling. 

Gerard wishes they could just lie in bed enjoying each other like this all day: intermittently getting each other off, making out, then falling asleep in each other’s arms... But, he knows they have to keep moving—he can only imagine the kinds of resources Mason is using to try to track them down right now... Gerard knows that the experienced drug lord has connections practically everywhere; there are people he can hire to keep an eye out for Frank and himself. 

When they’d stopped at the rest area between Tacoma and Seattle yesterday, Gerard had used the payphone there to call Trevor, his “guy,” to set up a time and place for them to meet to get some supplies from him. Trevor had told him he‘s able to meet with them this evening at a hotel in Bellingham, which is only an hour and a half drive away from where they are now. Gerard is hoping that Trevor can also help set Frank and himself up in a place where they can lie low for a while until Mason’s thirst for their blood cools down. 

Frank is now stirring awake where he’s lying with his head on Gerard’s steadily rising and falling chest.

“Hey,” Gerard says, smiling down at him. 

“Hey,” Frank says sleepily, smiling back up at Gerard as he stretches out his legs. “God, I’m so glad that wasn’t just a dream,” he says with a cute little laugh, placing the palm of his hand flat against one of Gerard’s pecs, squeezing lightly and feeling the hard muscle. Frank’s not sure why, but he’s noticing that he fucking loves feeling all of Gerard’s muscles...just realizing the strength that’s behind them...how they can both protect him and dominate him...

Gerard chuckles. “Yeah, it was definitely real life,” he says, running a hand down Frank’s back and slipping it underneath the waistband of his boxers, letting it settle on his perfect ass and firmly cupping one of the rounded cheeks. 

Frank blushes and looks up at Gerard as he bites his lower lip. He’s never felt another guy’s hand on his ass like this before and he can’t pretend he doesn’t enjoy it. 

“What’re you thinking about, baby?” Gerard asks, giving Frank a quick kiss.

Frank smiles, enjoying the way his stomach flutters at hearing Gerard call him that. “Just like...how strange it is how this is all happening...I dunno,” Frank says.

“Strange in a good way or in a bad way?”

“Good way,” Frank says quickly. “Like...I dunno, I never imagined that I’d ever feel this attracted to another guy.”

”Hmm,” Gerard says thoughtfully. “Yeah, life is strange, hey?” he says.

“Definitely,” Frank agrees, tilting his chin up to kiss Gerard’s neck, making the older man smile contentedly. Frank’s loving the smell of whatever scent Gerard is wearing and the feel of his stubble rubbing against his cheek as he continues to press soft kisses against his skin. “Wanna do something?” he asks.

“Like what?” Gerard asks, thinking Frank wants to go out to see a movie or something.

“I wanna try sucking you off...” Frank says, still speaking into Gerard’s neck. He slides his hand down from where it’s resting on Gerard’s chest until he’s palming Gerard’s cock through the fabric of his tight black jeans. “I haven’t even seen your dick yet...it feels fuckin’ huge...” he says, his voice turning into a whisper when he says the last part.

Gerard chuckles lightly. “So, you’re curious? You wanna see it?” he says, smirking.

Frank nods. “Yeah, I am...I do,” he admits, rubbing Gerard’s bulge with a little more pressure now as he kisses his neck.

“Hmm,” Gerard says, shifting around a little where he lies from the pleasurable feel of Frank’s hand rubbing against his cock. “Well, we have to be in Bellingham by four to meet up with Trevor—my “guy” I was telling you about—at the hotel there at five. And I dunno what traffic will be like so we should probably get going soon...”

“Wait—we’re meeting up with him today? How come you didn’t tell me?” Frank asks, looking at Gerard now and feeling anxious all of a sudden at the thought of meeting yet another criminal.

“I haven’t been telling you shit this entire time, Frank; I didn’t think you even cared to know. You’ve never asked me about what the plan is or anything.”

Frank nods, thinking that’s fair enough. He’s not even sure why he cares to know about shit ahead of time all of a sudden. “So, why are we meeting him there?”

“He’s bringing some supplies for us,” Gerard replies vaguely.

”What kind of supplies?” asks Frank, trying to think of what else they could possibly need.

“Baby,” Gerard says, sighing and slipping his hand out of Frank’s boxers to wrap his arm around the younger man’s waist. “Just let me take care of it, okay? Your only job is to do what I say.”

Frank‘s stomach flutters again, realizing that Gerard calling him “baby” is just like, a _thing_ now. He really loves it. “Okay,” he says, staring up at Gerard and looking as though there are literal hearts in his eyes. Gerard has taken care of him this far so he trusts that he’s got it all figured out. “You know, it’s only just past noon now; we have time...” Frank points out suggestively. 

“Sure we have time, but I’m gonna make you wait,” Gerard says, laughing when he sees the pouty look on Frank’s face after he says it. Gerard gives him a kiss and then wriggles himself out of the embrace to get up from the bed and pull his black T-shirt back on.

“Fine—make me wait,” Frank says with a sigh and a dreamy look in his eyes. “It’s just gonna make me want you even more.”

Gerard bites the inside of his lip, just in complete awe at how sexy Frank is, lying there on the bed basically begging to suck his cock. “You need to take a shower or at least wipe yourself off; you still have your cum all over you,” Gerard points out, running a hand through his tousled black hair as he eyes the dried cum that’s still lining Frank’s chest and abdomen. 

“Shit, yeah,” Frank says, looking down at the mess on his body before sitting up and scooting to the edge of the bed in front of where Gerard’s standing. 

Gerard looks the kid up and down as he sits there, just taking in how fucking gorgeous he is. He takes Frank’s face in his hands and kisses him deeply. Frank’s not sure what to do with his hands so he just keeps them at his sides, enjoying the way Gerard’s tongue is pushing into his mouth now. The two men make out for a minute and then Gerard pulls away, smiling when he notices the sweet blush that has crept up Frank’s neck and to his cheeks. 

“You’re fucking adorable,” Gerard says, laughing lightly as he affectionately ruffles Frank’s dark hair. “Now go get yourself cleaned up and dressed so we can get outta here.”

*

Gerard and Frank have just checked into the hotel in Bellingham and are settling into their room on the sixth floor. Gerard decided to get them a suite instead of a room this time: it has a kitchenette and a living area that is separated from the bedroom by a wall. The bedroom holds a king size bed and has an attached bathroom with a tub and a shower.

“This is nice,” Frank says, sitting down on the couch in the living area and looking around once they’re settled in. “Feels like a little apartment.”

“Yeah,” Gerard agrees. “I thought it would be nice having the extra space for a change. Besides, we might be here for a few nights—I’ll have a better idea of how long it’ll be after we meet with Trev later,” he says. He goes over to the couch and sits down next to Frank, glancing at the clock that’s on top of the desk in the corner. He sees that it’s three o’ clock now. 

Gerard is just about to say that they should probably go out and grab a quick late lunch somewhere when Frank suddenly climbs up onto his lap, facing him, and straddles his legs as he drapes his arms over Gerard’s shoulders and starts to slowly kiss his neck.

“So, I suck your cock once and now you suddenly can’t keep your hands off me,” Gerard comments teasingly.

Frank pulls back to look at Gerard. “Sounds like that’s your fault...” he says playfully before attaching his lips to Gerard’s now, kissing him hard as he grinds himself down against the man’s cock which he so desperately wants to see and touch and taste... 

Gerard sighs pleasantly into the kiss, places his hands on Frank’s ass and just lets Frank do whatever the hell he wants to him as they make out: tangling his hands in his hair, cupping the sides of his face, palming his firm chest muscles over his T-shirt, feeling up his bulging biceps... Gerard loves feeling Frank’s hands all over him and he can tell that Frank can’t get enough of how good it feels being intimate with another man for the first time, finally feeling like he can be himself.

Frank is basically dry-fucking Gerard now, rhythmically moving his body up and down in his lap, firmly grinding their now hard cocks together as Gerard feels up his ass, squeezing it hard every now and then and making Frank moan lightly when he does. 

“Want me to fuck you like this later?” Gerard asks in a low voice when there’s a break in their kissing as Frank’s lips go for his neck again. He’s not sure how Frank will react to the question but damn, he really wants to fuck him and he’s basically begging for it right now with his body language. 

Frank stops for a moment and looks at Gerard, not able to stop the smile that’s forming on his face because yeah, he definitely wants Gerard to fuck him like this. He wants Gerard so bad. “Why not now?” he asks. 

Gerard laughs lightly, a little surprised at how needy Frank is for him. “I’m not gonna rush through your first time with a guy, baby,” Gerard says, pecking Frank on the lips. “I wanna be able to take my time with you, make it so special for you.”

Frank’s heart melts and he smiles sincerely before wrapping his arms around Gerard’s neck and just hugging him tightly, feeling so safe and cared for in the man’s embrace. Gerard smiles, too, and moves his hands up from Frank’s ass to wrap his arms around the younger man’s waist, holding him close.

Frank is so surprised at they way he feels about Gerard. Just a day ago he wasn’t sure if he should be afraid of him or what, and now he’s making plans to have sex with him, and it’s going to be _special_. Like, what the fuck? He also knows that Gerard would help him through anything; he can feel it already even though he’s only known him for just over a week.

“Wanna go get something to eat?” Gerard asks after a while of them just holding each other in silence. 

“Yeah, sure,” Frank says, pulling back a bit. He softly kisses Gerard once more on the mouth before climbing off of him. 

* 

Gerard and Frank are sitting inside a little café near the hotel sipping their coffees and talking while they wait for their server to bring them the sandwiches they’d ordered. They both hadn’t realized how hungry they were until they walked into the place and smelled all of the delicious food that’s being prepared.

“Are you vegan?” Gerard asks, recalling that Frank had ordered a non-meat sandwich and had opted for vegan cheese instead of dairy cheese. 

“Yeah. I’m lactose intolerant so I figured that since I can’t eat dairy anyway, I might as well just make a lifestyle out of it. I’ll occasionally eat chicken, but that’s about it for meat. I’m not a big meat eater anyway—I could go the rest of my life without ever tasting a steak again and I wouldn’t care.”

“I’m not a big steak eater, either. I do eat meat, but red meat—not so much,” Gerard says.

“You know, I’m surprised that me being vegan wasn’t in my file,” Frank says with a cheeky little smile. 

Gerard laughs and shakes his head. He secretly likes it when Frank is a cheeky little shit—it’s just one of the things he enjoys about his personality. 

“So...what information about my family was in that file?” Frank asks. “I wanted to ask you this morning but I felt like I was asking you enough questions as it was.”

Gerard sighs and leans back in his seat, both of his hands still gripping his warm coffee mug. He narrows his eyes as he begins to think back to the day he’d read the file Mason keeps on Frank—the day he’d accepted the job to murder him. “Your parents’ names, birthdates and their home address were definitely all in there. Their occupations were in there, too. Your mom’s a nurse and your dad’s a salesperson, right?”

Frank nods slowly. He feels anxious that Mason has all of that personal information about his parents. He’s thinking about all the crime shows he’s watched on TV and how the criminal usually uses the victim’s close family members as collateral to get them to comply with their demands. “How do you think he got all of that info about them?” Frank asks.

“He has a P.I. working for him. And he’s fucking good. Finding out that kinda shit is a piece of cake for him,” says Gerard. “You know, I bet you Mason has _another_ P.I. to dig shit up about his main P.I. because he’s such a paranoid son of a bitch,” he adds.

“Do you think Mason will hurt my parents?” Frank asks worriedly. 

Gerard shakes his head firmly. “No, I don’t. What reason would he have to do that?”

“I dunno, like... What if he thinks they might know where I am? What if he tries to get information out of them by force?”

“Now _you’re_ being paranoid, Frank,” Gerard says. “Look, I’m sure he knows that you and I are travelling together and that I’m the one deciding where we’ll go and all that shit. Like, I’m positive he knows that your parents have no idea where you are.”

“I hope you’re right...” Frank says. 

“Are you close with your parents? Like, how often do you see them or talk to them?”

“We’re not super close. They call me like, a couple times a month and I see them even less than that.”

“Do you think they’ll go to the police looking for you if they don’t hear from you after a certain amount of time?”

Frank sips his drink nervously before replying. “God, I hope not,” he says. “The last fucking thing we need is for posters with my face on them plastered all along the streets and shit,” he continues, feeling a little sick to his stomach suddenly. “I’ve gone like a month without contacting them before and all they did was blow up my phone for four weeks straight and fill up my voicemail box. That was when I was deep into my pill addiction and just completely messed up though, which they knew about. So, I don’t think—“ Frank stops talking suddenly and looks up, seeing that their server has arrived with their food.

“Here is your BLT on multigrain bread,” the server says, setting the first plate down in front of Gerard. 

“Thank you very much,” Gerard says.

“And here’s your veggie with vegan cheese,” they say, setting the second plate down in front of Frank. 

“Thank you,” Frank says, smiling up at them.

“Is there anything else I can get for you two right now?” the server asks.

“No, I think we’re good—right, babe?” Gerard says, looking at Frank. 

Frank just nods, too caught off guard to form any words as he blushes.

“Okay, enjoy your meal,” the server says politely before walking away.

“What?” Gerard says, smiling, knowing exactly why Frank is acting all embarrassed now but just wanting to hear him say it. 

“You called me “babe” in front of them. They probably think we’re like... _together_ ,” Frank says quietly. 

“Would it be a bad thing if they thought that?” Gerard asks, just curious to see how Frank will respond to the idea. 

“Uh...no, but, like...are we?” he asks shyly, still blushing.

“It’s definitely complicated, but, we _are_ kind of ‘seeing’ each other, I’d say,” Gerard says casually. 

Frank smiles immediately. “Okay,” he says, nodding. “We’re seeing each other.”

Gerard can’t help but smile, too, at seeing how positive Frank’s response is. “Have I told you how fucking adorable you are?” he says. 

Frank giggles a little and looks down at his plate for a second before looking up at Gerard again with this cute, silly grin on his face. 

Gerard just shakes his head because he just _can’t_ with how fucking sweet this kid is. He’s definitely falling for Frank, though he wouldn’t dare to admit that to him quite yet—not when he’s still not sure exactly what his deal is. Gerard just hopes things between them don’t turn to shit like most good things in his life tend to do...

“So, is there anyone else who might come looking for you? What about your friends?” Gerard asks before taking the first bite of his sandwich. 

“Bold of you to assume that I even have friends...” Frank says, chuckling a little but sounding glum at the same time.

“You don’t?” asks Gerard, surprise evident in his voice.

Frank shakes his head. “I used to have lots of friends—close friends, even—but, not anymore. I basically decided that if they weren’t gonna get high with me, then I wasn’t gonna hang out with them anymore.”

“Huh,” Gerard says, nodding. He feels sad that Frank was basically on his own back in L.A., going down the dark and spiralling staircase of drug addiction with no one around to really give him any support besides his parents—and he thinks it’s likely that they were starting to get burnt out after months of trying to help their son get better. 

“I think just having everyone I used to know hate me now is part of the reason I can’t figure out why you even like me,” Frank admits. “I honestly still don’t understand why you decided not to...you know...” Frank says, not wanting to say the words out loud. 

Gerard’s heart breaks a little when he hears Frank speak about how he feels about himself. “To be completely honest with you, Frank, I had every intention of doing it when I left my house that night. But then when I saw you there on the street, I just...I dunno. There was something about you—and I can’t quite put my finger on it; maybe it was just a feeling or a voice in my head or the look in your eyes. Whatever it was, it made me stop and be like: _I don’t want to do this_. And that’s when I told you to get in the car instead of pulling the trigger. It was all very strange and unlike anything that has ever happened to me before. I honestly feel like it was some sort of sign. Of what? I couldn’t tell you.”

“Maybe it was a sign that you should find a new line of work,” Frank offers smartly.

Gerard chuckles. “Yeah, maybe,” he says, nodding thoughtfully. 

“Well, whatever it was, I’m really, really grateful for it,” Frank says sincerely.

Gerard smiles a little, feeling a pang of guilt in his chest for even considering murdering Frank for any amount of money. “You haven’t touched your food,” he points out, gesturing to Frank’s plate. He looks up at the clock above the café’s front counter. “We only have forty-five minutes before we have to be back at the hotel to meet Trev.”

“Right,” Frank says, finally picking up his sandwich and taking a bite of it. 

The two men talk about lighter subject matter as they continue to eat, and soon it’s time for them to head back to the hotel to meet Trevor. Frank’s feeling nervous but he’s trying not to show it. Gerard’s just hoping Trevor has brought everything he’d promised...


	10. Chapter 10

Gerard and Frank are standing in front of hotel suite 402—the suite that Trevor is supposed to be staying in. Gerard has just knocked on the door and the two men are now silently waiting for a response. Frank feels his heart rate speeding up from the anticipation of the unknown—he has no idea what to expect from this Trevor person.

The door suddenly swings open and the two men are standing face-to-face with a tall, bulky man who has dark brown hair. Trevor has on a sleeveless shirt which shows off his arms which are both covered from shoulder to fingertips in colourful tattoos. His face looks stern at first which makes Frank feel even more nervous, but when he looks at Gerard his expression instantly changes into a huge grin.

“G fuckin’ Way...holy shit,” Trevor says with a laugh, still grinning as he looks at Gerard. “Get over here, buddy,” he says, holding his arms open.

Gerard has a similar grin on his face as he gives Trevor a big hug. “It’s so good to see you, man,” he says when they dissolve their embrace. “How long’s it been? Over a year?”

“Yeah, somethin’ like that,” Trevor says. “Goddamn, I’ve missed your stupid fuckin’ smile so much,” he laughs. He curiously looks over at Frank who’s just standing there awkwardly as he witnesses this reunion of sorts.

Gerard chuckles and then notices Trevor eyeing Frank curiously. “Trev, this is Frank; Frank this is my buddy, Trevor,” Gerard introduces them.

“Good to meet you, Frank,” Trevor says, holding out a tattooed hand to the younger man.

Frank takes Trevor’s hand in his and is caught off guard by how hard the man shakes it. “Likewise,” Frank says. He’s feeling intimidated by Trevor already—his loud, deep voice and confident aura are making him feel insecure and like he just wants to disappear. He wonders how he and Gerard had met...

“Anyway, come on in,” Trevor says, stepping aside to let the two men into his hotel suite.

Frank follows close behind Gerard as they walk into Trevor’s tidy suite which has a similar layout to their own suite up on the sixth floor. 

“Where’re you living now?” Gerard asks as Trevor walks over to the desk. There’s a white sheet on the desktop that looks like it’s covering something up underneath it.

“Fuckin’ Oregon,” Trevor says, sounding bored. “The weather’s brutal there but it’s one of the few states where I’m not wanted, so I guess I can’t be too picky.”

Gerard nods. “What charges you got?”

Trevor laughs. “Jesus, I’d bore you to death if I started listing them all off. Just fuckin’ _everything_ , man,” he says as he shakes his head. “Anyway, you wanna see the shit I lifted for you?” he asks, gesturing towards the desk.

“Fuck yeah, let’s see the goods,” Gerard says eagerly.

Frank doesn’t know what the hell to expect here and when Trevor pulls back the white sheet to reveal a handgun, a few boxes of ammo and a gun silencer lying on the desktop, he’s more than a little stunned. In fact, he feels his blood run cold...

“M&P, no serial number. Exactly what you asked for,” Trevor says. “Go ahead,” he urges, gesturing to Gerard to pick up the gun.

Gerard silently picks up the weapon as Frank anxiously looks on. The gun is matte black stainless steel with a black polymer frame. “Yeah, it’s perfect,” Gerard says, looking it over and passing it between his hands, getting a feel for the weight of it.

“It’s fuckin’ sexy, right?” Trevor says.

Gerard chuckles. “Yeah, it _is_ sexy,” he nods. “Reminds me of your tattooed handguns, Frank,” he says, looking over at Frank who he’s just noticed is wearing this nervous expression on his face as he looks on.

“Yeah, kinda,” Frank nods, blushing a little. 

Trevor gives Gerard a curious glance before addressing Frank. “You’ve got handguns tattooed on you? Lemme see,” he says interestedly.

Frank is embarrassed but he turns around so that his back is to Trevor and lifts up his T-shirt, exposing the handguns that are tattooed on his lower back with the barrels crossing and pointing down the centre of it. 

“Holy shit—that’s fuckin’ badass, dude,” Trevor says, coming a little closer to Frank to inspect the piece of artwork on his skin. “The spiderweb design on the grips is a nice touch. Really fuckin’ cool,” he continues, nodding as he steps back again. 

“Thanks,” Frank says, smiling a bit as he lowers his shirt and turns around so he’s facing Trevor again. “It’s not done yet. I wanna add the words ‘search and destroy’ to it someday soon: ‘search’ on my right hip/upper ass area, ‘destroy’ in the same area on the left, and the ‘and’ will be on my lower stomach, just underneath my bellybutton between the sparrows,” Frank explains. He holds up his shirt again to show Trevor the two sparrows he has tattooed on either side of his lower abdomen. Gerard has to put the handgun down before he fucking drops it as he stares at Frank’s gorgeous, inked body. 

““Search and destroy?” Like, as in “search and destroy this ass?”” Trevor says, smirking.

Frank immediately goes red in the face, not sure if he’d heard the man correctly at first. 

Gerard rolls his eyes. “Really, Trev?” he says, shaking his head, showing his disapproval of his friend’s immature comment.

“What?” Trevor says, laughing. “The barrels are pointing down towards his asshole—what was I supposed to think?”

Gerard tells Trevor to shut the fuck up, seeing how embarrassed Frank is right now. He can tell that Trevor is well-aware of the fact that he’s being a dick, but that’s just how he is—his filter is even more diminished than Gerard’s is.

“Okay, sorry. I know not everyone appreciates my sense of humour,” Trevor says. “So...anyway, were you really stealing from Mason? I think G said that’s why he wants you dead, right?” Trevor asks, looking at Frank. 

Frank’s stomach sinks unpleasantly at hearing Mason’s name and Gerard shakes his head and sighs. Gerard knows his friend is just trying to make conversation with Frank but he’s fucking terrible at picking appropriate topics.

“Trev, he doesn’t wanna talk about that shit,” Gerard says. “You don’t have to answer, Frank,” he says, looking over at the kid.

“No, it’s fine,” Frank says with a shrug, not wanting to seem like he’s a total fucking pansy in front of these two hardcore criminals. “Yeah, I was stealing from him,” he admits casually.

“Damn, I like you, kid,” Trevor says, laughing. “You’ve got balls,” he says, making a fist and holding it out to Frank. Frank fist bumps him and feels oddly accomplished even though stealing from your boss to feed your pill addiction isn’t really something to be proud of. “How long were you working for him?”

“Not long—less than a year. He’s a fucking asshole.” 

Trevor’s expression suddenly turns cold and a shiver passes down Frank’s spine. “That’s my cousin you’re talking about,” Trevor says, completely stone-faced.

Frank swallows audibly, his anxiety level surging as he realizes that he’s just fucked up big time. Just as he begins to wonder why Gerard hadn’t fucking told him this important piece of information, Trevor begins to laugh.

“I’m just fucking with you, kid. I mean, he _is_ my cousin, but we’re not tight or anything like that. He’s a goddamn bastard. He tried to kill me the last time I saw him, see—“ Mason lifts his T-shirt and shows a three-inch raised scar on his lower left abdomen. “He fucking stabbed me ‘cause I told him to his face that he was a piece of shit because of something he’d done.”

Frank’s somewhat irritated that Trevor had gotten him all anxious for nothing, but the level of shock he feels at hearing that Trevor is related to Mason makes him forget about it quickly. “He’s your _cousin_? Holy shit...” Frank says as he looks at Trevor’s stab wound scar.

Trevor puts his shirt back down. “Yeah. Never do business with your fuckin’ family—I learned that the hard way,” he says. “And G got fucked over by someone he cared about, too. That’s actually how we ended up meeting,” Trevor goes on.

Frank has a puzzled expression on his face as he looks over at Gerard. “How’d you guys meet?” he asks. 

“We were cellmates for four years,” Gerard says.

Frank’s eyes widen a bit from surprise. “Oh...” he says. 

“Yeah, I got out like a year before him,” Trevor says. “And like a fucking idiot I asked Mason to help get him a shorter sentence with the connections he has—which he did—but then when G got out, the bastard told G that he had to work for him indefinitely to pay him back for what I thought was just a favour he was doing for me, his goddamn cousin. So, that’s when we fell out. I was so fuckin’ gutted that he did that to my friend. That goes to show you what a piece of shit Mason is.”

Frank is stunned by hearing this new information; at learning why Gerard kills for a living. He wonders why Gerard hadn’t just told him how he’d gotten into all of this—it wasn’t his fault at all. Frank has to admit he feels relieved to know that Gerard hadn’t just chosen to start killing people for money of his own volition, but at the same time he feels sad for Gerard because Mason had basically forced him into leading that kind of life. 

“Believe me—I’m well aware of what a piece of shit he is. He had a couple of his guys mess me up pretty good one time ‘cause I was a day late with a drop off after my car crapped out on me. He’s fucking evil,” Frank says. 

“Oh, yeah, absolutely. He’s definitely an evil son of a bitch. No doubt about it,” Trevor says. “I wish I could smash his goddamn skull open.”

Frank swallows audibly at hearing Trevor’s explicit description of violence and wonders if that’s how Gerard thinks, too. He looks at Gerard and it seems like the man is in his own world right now, just staring at the wall. Gerard can feel his anger and guilt surfacing as he recalls all of the unthinkable things that he’s done to people because of Mason. It’s making him want to hurt Mason even more, and he’d do worse than just simply smash his skull open—he’d make him suffer.

“Gerard? You okay?” Frank asks worriedly.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, I’m good,” Gerard says, snapping out of his violent thoughts. “Can we get the business stuff sorted out?” he asks, looking at Trevor.

“Yeah, for sure, man,” Trevor says. “Can we go in the bedroom? The money counter’s in there.”

“Yeah,” Gerard nods. He picks up the unloaded gun from the desktop. “Just wait out here, Frank. We won’t be long.”

Frank nods and goes over to the couch to sit down while the two criminals enter the bedroom to conduct their business transaction.

In the bedroom, Gerard removes a wad of cash from his pocket as Trevor shuts the door behind him. “Five grand,” Gerard says, handing the cash over to Trevor. He looks around and doesn’t see a money counter anywhere.

“I don’t need to count it; I know you’re good for it,” Trevor says, pocketing the cash. “Just wanted you in here so I could talk to you for a bit without the kid around,” he admits.

“Oh, okay,” Gerard says. He sits down on the edge of the bed, waiting for Trevor to speak again.

“When you called me from that payphone the other day and told me you fucked up a job and skipped town and needed a better gun, I was shocked to hear you say you were travelling with the guy you were supposed to kill. I thought you were gonna tell me that the target got away or that there‘d been a witness or some shit,” Trevor says. “What the hell happened that night? Do you know that kid or something? Is that why you didn’t kill him?”

Gerard sighs. He’d been expecting Trevor to question him about this. “I honestly couldn’t tell you why I didn’t do it,” he says. “I took one look at him and I...I just couldn’t.”

Trevor nods thoughtfully. “Maybe deep down you just decided you’d had enough of being Mason’s bitch,” he says. 

Gerard shrugs. “I dunno, man. Maybe...”

Trevor nods again. “You and Frank seem to get along pretty well. And he seems to trust you a lot,” he comments, seeming like he wants to say more but is holding back.

“Yeah,” Gerard nods. “I think he does.”

Trevor sighs and then chuckles. “You might not wanna tell me, but don’t think for a second that I can’t tell what’s going on between you two,” he says, folding his arms across his chest and smirking. “I spent four years watching your horny ass ogle every inmate who looked even remotely like that kid, and I saw you looking at him the same way when he was showing me his tattoos,” he says. 

Gerard feels his face get hot and he smiles a bit. He’d forgotten how well Trevor can read him. “Goddamn, that fuckin’ back tattoo though...” he says as he bites his bottom lip, thinking about it.

Trevor laughs wholeheartedly. “Fuck, man...he’s got you hooked,” he muses. “So, is it just fucking or do you care about him?”

“Oh, I care about him. A lot, actually. It’s crazy,” Gerard says, shaking his head, smiling. “And I haven’t actually fucked him yet. Planning on it tonight, though.”

Trevor smiles, feeling happy for his friend. “That’s good, man. You deserve that,” he says. “Do you know if he feels the same way about you?”

”I hope he does. We haven’t really talked about ‘us’ except to label what we’re doing as ‘seeing each other,’ though the circumstances are kinda fucked up,” Gerard says. He lets out a large sigh. “I honestly haven’t figured out what his deal is yet. He could just be going along with me out of convenience, fear, curiosity... I dunno. I’m also the first guy he’s ever been with, so...he could just be infatuated with me but not actually like me as a person,” Gerard continues, sort of thinking out loud.

” _Or_ , he could actually just fuckin’ like you,” Trevor suggests emphatically.

”Or that,” Gerard says smugly, but not counting on it. 

“So, what’s your plan now?” Trevor asks, changing the subject. “Where’re you guys headed next? I know you mentioned Canada, but with your record I think trying to leave the country right now is out of the question.”

Gerard sighs. “I don’t fucking know, man...” he admits. “D’you think we’d be okay laying low in Oregon? Would be nice to be able to see you now and again.”

“Yeah, I think you guys would be good there,” Trevor says, nodding thoughtfully. “Might take me a little while, but I could set you up with a place there and everything. I can even make fake Oregon IDs for you guys, if you want,” he suggests.

Gerard nods, deep in thought. He’s thinking about how even if he and Frank were to lay low in Oregon for several months, who’s to say that Mason wouldn’t decide to come looking for them again years later? They’ll have to be looking over their shoulders for the rest of their lives. Who the fuck wants to live in fear like that? Gerard clears his throat before he speaks again. “I have to kill Mason,” he says in a low voice. 

Trevor is silent for a moment, not sure where this sudden, dark idea had come from. “You don’t wanna do that, man. Trust me. His guys are loyal as fuck: do you know how many of them would be after you for revenge if you took him out? Do you know how many people would be out of work and angry because of it? Too fuckin’ many. I know you’re just trying to find a way out of this mess, G, but you gotta be smart about it.”

Gerard shakes his head. “The fucking shit he’s made me do for him...” he says, almost to himself. “I can’t even look at myself some days.”

“Hey—you’re a good guy, G. I know that. You know that. Mason will burn in hell eventually. He’ll get his. You don’t need to get any more blood on your hands because of him. You’ll feel worse—not better—if you kill him.”

Gerard smiles darkly. “No, I think watching him bleed out at my feet would make me feel much, much better...” he says.

Trevor sighs. “Look, man; I want him dead, too. But I wanna stay out of prison and above ground even more. You should be thinking similarly. What about Frank? Don’t you care that if you get arrested or killed you won’t be able to fuck his sweet ass anymore?”

Gerard chuckles—Trevor always knew how to lighten a mood. “You’re right. You’re always right, Trev. I’m just fucking angry, that’s all. I’m sure it’ll pass,” Gerard says, hoping he’s right. 

“Is that why you asked me to get you that M&P? ‘Cause you wanted to kill Mason?”

“No, not specifically,” Gerard says, turning the gun over in his hands as he speaks. “These guns are just accurate as fuck and the piece I’d been carrying before just wouldn’t cut it if it ever came down to a gunfight or something.”

Trevor nods in agreement. “Yeah, you definitely made a good choice,” he says. “Anyway, I don’t wanna keep your boy waiting...” he says, gesturing towards the bedroom door. 

”Right, yeah,” says Gerard, standing up as he does. 

“You guys wanna stick around for a bit and party with me? I got some Molly and pills and shit.”

Gerard shakes his head. “Thanks man, but I gotta pass; we’re both trying to stay clean.”

“All good, buddy. I respect it,” Trevor says, nodding. “Want me to take your photos for those Oregon IDs before you guys leave?”

“Yeah, sure,” Gerard replies. “Hey, uh, before we go back out there...you got any condoms on you?”

Trevor smirks. “Yeah, I got you, bro. One sec...” he says before going into his suitcase in the corner. He rummages through it for a moment before finding a box of condoms and handing a strip of four to Gerard along with a packet of lube.

“Thanks, man,” Gerard says, pocketing the goods. “Always prepared,” he smirks.

“No worries—have fun,” Trevor says, chuckling as he pats his friend on the back.

Frank looks up when the bedroom door opens and Gerard and Trevor walk back out into the living area of the suite. He notices that Trevor is holding a digital camera in his hands now and silently wonders what’s going on.

“Okay, you ready to shoot this porno, kid?” Trevor asks in his booming voice, looking directly at Frank as he holds up the camera.

Frank immediately goes red in the face and looks over at Gerard who he notices is holding back laughter. Realizing it was a joke, Frank rolls his eyes and shakes his head at Trevor. “I think I’m starting understand your humour now...” he says.

Trevor laughs. “I just need to take your photo so I can make you a fake ID. You cool with that?” he asks.

Frank looks over at Gerard again for direction and he gives Frank a little nod. “Yeah, sure,” Frank says.

Trevor quickly sets up a backdrop which is just a large, white piece of matte poster paper taped onto the wall, and then he takes Frank’s headshot first before taking Gerard’s. He shows them each their photos and once they both give him the OK, he jots down some of their information such as their height, weight and eye colour on a hotel notepad that’s sitting on the desktop. 

After Trevor is finished getting the information he needs to make the two fake IDs, Gerard tucks his new handgun into the back waistband of his jeans and pulls his black T-shirt down over it. Trevor puts the boxes of ammo and the gun silencer into a black plastic bag which he then gives to Gerard.

“It’ll take me a few days to get those IDs made. I’ll call the phone in your suite to let you know when you can come pick them up,” Trevor says. You good with sticking around here for that long?” he asks. 

“Yeah, that’s no problem at all,” Gerard says. “Thanks a lot for everything, Trev,” he adds. 

“Don’t mention it,” says Trevor. “It was good meeting you, Frank,” he says.

“It was good meeting you, too,” Frank returns. “And thank you,” he adds.

“See you in a few days,” Gerard says as he and Frank head out the door. Trevor nods before shutting the door behind them. 

Gerard and Frank silently make their way back up to their suite on the sixth floor and when they get inside Gerard immediately locks the handgun, the boxes of ammo and the gun silencer away in the safe inside the hall closet. When he turns around, Frank is standing in front of him looking like he’s about to cry.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” Gerard asks gently, his expression full of concern.

Frank shakes his head. “It just makes me so fucking angry to know that Mason took advantage of you like that, making you do his dirty work for him just ‘cause he decided that you owed him for doing you a favour that you didn’t even ask him for,” Frank pauses to wipe the fallen tears off of his cheeks. “You don’t deserve to be treated like that and I hate that he’s just been getting away with it this entire time,” Frank sniffs.

Gerard smiles sadly. “Frankie...” he says, going over to Frank and putting his hands on the kid’s shoulders. He kisses the tears away from his cheeks, tasting the saltiness of them on his lips. “If you let the bad shit Mason’s done get to you, then you’re letting him win. That’s what he wants: he wants to break people down because it makes him feel strong. That’s what weak people do,” he continues. “He’ll get what he deserves in the end—I promise you that,” he says.

“He fucking better. I hope he rots in hell,” Frank says, his voice sounding thick from crying.

Gerard laughs. “He will, baby. I’m sure of it,” he says before kissing Frank softly on the mouth. 

Frank sighs lightly into the kiss and puts his palms against Gerard’s hard chest, feeling his firm nipples through his T-shirt. Gerard smiles against Frank’s lips, enjoying the feel of the younger man’s hands on his body, knowing exactly what he wants to do right now. Gerard’s hands move from Frank’s shoulders to lift the hem of his T-shirt, and Frank raises his arms so Gerard can pull it up over his head and toss it onto the floor. 

Gerard looks Frank’s sexy, naked torso up and down, admiring his tattoos yet again. “Let’s go to the couch,” he says, eager to feel Frank’s body against his. He takes Frank’s hand and leads him out of the front hallway and into the living area of the suite where he sits down on the couch and gently pulls Frank into his lap so that Frank is facing him and straddling his legs, just like he’d done earlier that afternoon.

Frank immediately crashes his lips against Gerard’s, kissing him hard while he pulls up the older man’s T-shirt. They part their lips for a moment so Gerard can get his shirt off and then they’re back to making out feverishly, hands all over each other with their heavy breathing and their kissing the only sounds they’re aware of right now. 

Frank reaches down between them and puts his hand on Gerard’s hard cock, squeezing and rubbing it through the black fabric of his jeans which it’s straining against. 

“You want it?” Gerard asks before sucking Frank’s bottom lip into his mouth again.

“Yeah,” Frank says breathily against Gerard’s lips, nodding as his mouth practically waters for the man’s cock.

“Tell me,” Gerard says, his eyes narrowing with lust.

“I wanna suck your dick,” Frank says, his voice nearly a whisper. “Please?” he adds looking at Gerard with his adorable puppy eyes. Gerard fucking loses it at hearing Frank beg like that and he crashes his lips against Frank’s again, kissing him deeply. 

Frank blindly undoes the button of Gerard’s jeans as they continue to make out intensely and then he pulls the zipper down, feeling Gerard’s underwear-covered cock practically burst through the opening when he does. Frank then wraps his hand around Gerard’s cock and begins jerking him off through his underwear.

“God, you feel so fucking big, Gerard...” Frank says breathily.

Gerard thrusts his hips up a bit, pushing his cock further into Frank’s hand, and leans forward, hungrily attaching his lips to the younger man’s neck, kissing him intensely. Frank’s leans his head back and moans lightly as he continues to rub Gerard’s cock back and forth, and Gerard reaches up and places his hand lightly around Frank’s throat, slowly applying pressure as Frank continues to moan softly.

“Yeah, choke me...” Frank breathes out, bringing his head forward again so he can look at Gerard. 

“Yeah? You like that?” Gerard asks softly, tightening his grip on the kid’s throat.

“Fuck yes,” Frank says, nodding and looking right into Gerard’s eyes as the man’s grip gets even tighter.

Frank’s face starts going red at that point and Gerard lets go, allowing Frank to catch his breath as he kisses the younger man’s neck again.

“Get on your knees on the floor,” Gerard says gently. Frank obeys and soon he’s kneeling down on the floor with his body between Gerard’s spread-open legs. Gerard lifts up his ass and pulls his jeans down to the middle of his thighs, leaving Frank staring wide-eyed at his large cock straining against the front of his underwear. “You want this cock? Tell me again,” Gerard says. He just can’t get enough of hearing Frank say it.

“Fuck yeah, I want that cock,” Frank says, looking up at Gerard with sexy, lust-filled eyes.

Gerard lifts his ass again and pulls down his underwear to meet the top edge of his jeans, exposing his throbbing, hard cock which is standing straight up with the head flushed pink with heat. Gerard wraps his fist around the shaft and strokes it up and down a few times, giving Frank a little show as he just kneels there staring at it, mouth slightly agape, eyes slightly widened. “What do you think?” Gerard asks, smirking as he does. 

Frank licks his lips and then pinches his bottom lip between his teeth, holding it there as he just stares in awe at Gerard’s monster cock. “It’s...fucking huge,” he says, laughing a bit as he places his hands on Gerard’s hairy, muscular upper thighs. “Fuck...” he says breathily, looking up at Gerard again. 

Gerard chuckles a bit, feeling his cock twitch from how fucking sexy Frank looks right now. “You don’t have to deepthroat it or anything,” he says.

Frank licks his lips again and leans forward until his mouth is hovering over the head of Gerard’s cock while Gerard still has his hand wrapped around the shaft. He licks the head of it, tasting some of Gerard’s precum, and then takes the entire head into his mouth, sucking on it lightly. 

“Mmm... _fuck_ ,” Gerard groans, closing his eyes and leaning his head back to rest against the back of the couch, enjoying the feel of Frank’s warm, wet mouth on his cock for the first time. He takes his hand off the shaft and lets Frank replace it with his own hand as the younger man continues to suck him off.

Frank’s not really sure what to do as it’s his first time giving someone a blowjob, but he just thinks back to what Gerard did to him this morning and tries to imitate that. He continues to suck on the head, gently swirling his tongue around it while he moves his fist up and down on the shaft. Gerard is softly moaning and cursing under his breath and it turns Frank on so much hearing it, just knowing that he’s the one making Gerard feel so good.

Gerard looks down at Frank between his legs again and Frank looks up at Gerard with his mouth still full of his cock and Gerard thinks it’s the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. “You like sucking on that big dick, baby?” he asks, stroking one of Frank’s flushed cheeks with his thumb a few times.

“Mhm...” Franks says, continuing to look up at Gerard with his lips tight around the man’s cock.

Gerard tangles one of his hands in Frank’s dark hair, pulling lightly, and places his other hand on top of one of Frank’s where it’s resting on his upper thigh. Frank begins bobbing his head up and down on Gerard’s cock, getting it even deeper into his mouth each time he goes down. 

“Fuck yeah, baby...that’s fuckin’ good...just like that...” Gerard says, stroking Frank’s hair and squeezing his hand. For a while Gerard just sits there enjoying how good Frank’s making his cock feel, but then his eyes start wandering, looking at Frank’s body, and he thinks about how badly he wants to see this kid’s hole and taste it and fuck it...

“Frankie, c’mere...” Gerard says needily, leaning forward. Frank lifts his mouth off of Gerard’s cock and Gerard tilts Frank’s chin up so they can kiss. They make out like that for a moment until Gerard hooks his hands underneath Frank’s armpits and pulls him up to his feet so that he’s standing in front of him, between his still spread open legs. 

Gerard undoes Frank’s jeans and pulls both them and his boxers down to his ankles before Frank steps out of them and kicks them off to the side. Gerard then places both of his hands on Frank’s asscheeks and squeezes them as he looks up at Frank. Frank puts his hands on Gerard’s shoulders as Gerard takes the younger man’s hard cock into his mouth, taking it all the way down his throat at once.

“Oh my _God_ , Gerard,” Frank moans, gripping Gerard’s shoulders tightly. 

Gerard takes Frank’s cock deep down his throat a couple more times, feeling pleased when Frank’s legs begin to shake a little from how good it feels, and then he pulls off for a moment and looks up at Frank, his hands still groping the kid’s perfect asscheeks. “That good, baby?” he asks knowingly.

“Yeah, so fucking good,” Frank nods, looking down at Gerard.

Gerard sucks two of his own fingers into his mouth, getting them dripping wet with saliva as Frank looks down and watches him intently. “Can I play with your hole? Finger you a bit while I suck your dick?” Gerard asks gently, looking up at Frank.

Frank’s eyes widen a bit and he feels a bit nervous because he’s never done anything like this before, but he’s so turned on right now and so fucking down for Gerard that he just nods eagerly, wanting to feel so close to him.

Gerard puts his mouth back on Frank’s cock and reaches between his legs, underneath his balls, until the tips of his two fingers find Frank’s tight hole. Gerard rubs his moistened fingers against the puckered opening and feels it tense up as Frank gasps in surprise at how good it feels.

“ _Fuck_ , Gerard...” Frank moans, throwing his head back as he feels Gerard begin to put more pressure against his tight opening while he continues to suck his cock. He’s amazed at how good it feels.

With Frank’s cock still in his mouth, Gerard lets the tip of his index finger slowly push past Frank’s tight opening and Frank gasps suddenly at the unfamiliar feeling of being penetrated like that. When Gerard’s finger is inside as far as it will go, he keeps it there and just moves it back and forth, letting Frank get used to the feeling.

“Feels so fucking good, babe...” Frank says breathily, looking down at Gerard again. 

Gerard lets Frank’s dick fall from his mouth and he smiles up at the kid, surprised at how soft he feels at hearing Frank call him “babe.” He withdraws his finger from Frank’s opening before telling him to lie down on the couch and pulling his own pants and underwear off the rest of the way. Frank does as Gerard says, and Gerard pushes Frank’s knees back until they’re nearly touching his chest, exposing his tight hole.

“Holy fuck, that’s a pretty hole,” Gerard whispers, looking down at Frank’s little opening. He looks up and sees that Frank is blushing as he lies there with his legs splayed open, totally exposed to the older man. “I wanna kiss it...taste it. Is that okay with you?” Gerard asks, wanting to be sure.

Frank nods. “Yeah,” he says without hesitation. “I want you to,” he adds.

On his knees now, Gerard leans forward and softly presses open-mouthed kisses against Frank’s spread asscheeks. “So perfect, Frankie...you’re so fucking beautiful,” Gerard says, enjoying the sounds of Frank’s quiet little whimpers as his lips get closer and closer to his tight opening. 

When Gerard finally flicks his tongue against Frank’s hole for the first time, Frank moans and arches his back and Gerard is pleased at feeling his little hole contract and relax repeatedly against his tongue. He starts really going for it now, pressing his tongue firmly against Frank’s opening as he licks and kisses it. Gerard smiles when he feels the fingers of one of Frank’s hands tangling tightly in his hair, holding his head where it is so as not to let him stop because of how good it feels.

“Like that, baby?” Gerard asks as Frank moans and squirms beneath him.

“Fuck yes...feels so fucking good,” Frank moans.

Gerard looks up between Frank’s legs and sees the kid’s eyes squeezed shut, mouth agape, chest rising and falling rapidly... He hooks his hands around each of Frank’s thighs, pulls him closer, and then pushes his tongue right into his tight hole, making Frank cry out in pleasure.

“Oh my _God_ , Gerard,” Frank moans.

“You feel that? You feel my tongue inside your little hole?” Gerard asks before entering Frank with his tongue once again.

“Yes, I feel it,” Frank says breathily. “Please...want you to fuck me,” Frank begs, pulling Gerard’s hair tighter.

Gerard looks up at Frank through his spread legs, deciding that he needs to hear that again. “What was that, baby?”

“Please fuck me...need it,” Frank moans, looking and sounding absolutely desperate for Gerard’s cock to fill him up.

Gerard shakes Frank’s hand out of his hair and sits up. He picks his jeans up off the floor and finds the condoms and lube in the pocket. He rolls one of the condoms onto his cock and then coats it with half of the lube that’s in the packet before turning towards Frank and rubbing the rest of the lube against his waiting hole, working some of the clear, watery substance inside with his fingers as well.

Gerard then sits with his back against the couch and pats his thighs. “C’mere,” he says. Frank gets up and sits in Gerard’s lap so that he’s facing him and straddling his legs like before. “It might hurt a bit at first since it’s your first time, but in this position you can control how fast or slow we go,” Gerard says.

“Okay,” Frank says, nodding, and then Gerard leans in and kisses him deeply. 

“If you wanna stop at any time, just let me know, okay? There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Frank smiles. “You’re so fucking sweet to me, Gerard,” he says, looking at the older man in awe.

Gerard smiles back. “I just...care about you a lot,” he admits.

Frank kisses Gerard again and drapes his arms over the man’s shoulders as Gerard wraps his arms around Frank’s waist. After a while of making out, Frank pulls back and says, “Okay, I’m ready.”

Gerard reaches down between their bodies and guides the lubricated tip of his condom-covered cock to Frank’s tight entrance until it’s pressing against it firmly. “Relax your muscles and push out a bit as it’s going in; it’ll feel less uncomfortable that way,” Gerard says, and Frank nods as he begins to lower himself down onto Gerard’s cock.

The two of them make out passionately as Frank takes his time with getting the head of Gerard’s cock inside him and when it finally pops through his tight sphincter, both him and Gerard let out pleasant little groans—Frank because of how thick Gerard feels inside of him, and Gerard because of how fucking tight Frank’s hole feels around the head of his cock.

“ _Fuck_...” Frank breathes out against Gerard’s lips, his voice coming out shaky.

“You okay?” Gerard asks.

“Yeah,” Frank says with a quick little nod. “Your dick is just so fucking huge, holy shit...” he says, laughing a bit. 

Gerard chuckles, rubbing his hands up and down Frank’s sides. “Just go slow, baby...take as long as you need. I just want this to be good for you,” he says. “If you feel like we need to use more lube just let me know—there’s a bit more left in the packet.”

Frank feels his heart melt yet again at how sweet Gerard is and he kisses the man’s lips, down to his jaw and down his neck... It takes Frank about fifteen minutes of slowly letting Gerard’s cock enter him inch by inch as they make out before it’s finally all the way inside him. 

“You okay?” Gerard asks again, watching Frank’s face intently for any signs of discomfort.

“Yeah,” Frank says, nodding before kissing Gerard again. 

“Can I move?” Gerard asks once their lips part again. His cock feels amazing buried deep inside of Frank’s tightness and he can’t wait to just fuck into him nice and hard.

“Yeah, you can move,” Frank says, grateful for Gerard’s unwavering patience this entire time. 

Gerard hooks his hands underneath Frank’s upper thighs and holds him up as he slowly but sharply thrusts his hips upwards deep into Frank’s opening. “Goddamn, your hole is so fucking tight, baby...feels so good,” Gerard says, kissing Frank needily as he fucks into him. “You like feeling my big dick stretching you out like this?”

“Fuck yeah...feels amazing,” Frank says against Gerard’s lips, enjoying the way the older man is fucking him. Frank suddenly feels the head of Gerard’s cock hit this one spot deep inside of him that makes him feel like he’s gonna cum for a second and he absolutely loses it. “Holy _shit_ ,” he gasps, his toes curling as he feels an intense rush of pleasure jolt through his body. 

“Found it,” Gerard says, smirking. 

“Found wh—oh _fuck_ , babe,” Frank cries out as Gerard sharply thrusts his hips up, hitting the same sweet spot again. “Why does that feel so fucking good?” Frank asks, nuzzling his face against Gerard’s neck, feverishly planting wet kisses against his skin. 

“That’s your prostate, baby,” Gerard says. “It’s like a G-spot for guys.”

“Shit...it makes me feel like cumming every time you hit it,” Frank says. 

“Yeah?” says Gerard with a pleased little smile. “You like when I fuck you nice and deep and make you feel like blowing your load?”

Frank nods. “Fuck yes,” he says breathily, enjoying Gerard’s incessant dirty talk as he’s fucking him. 

“Let’s move to the bedroom,” says Gerard. “Wanna fuck you on the bed. Wrap your legs around me,” he says.

Frank obediently wraps his legs around Gerard’s waist and holds his arms tightly around the man’s shoulders as Gerard stands up, his cock still buried inside of Frank, and walks them into the bedroom. 

“Oh my God,” Frank says with a little laugh as Gerard bends over to lay him down on the bed with his ass at the edge of it, still filled up with Gerard’s cock. 

Gerard smiles and pushes Frank’s legs back a bit, spreading him open even more with his hands on the backs of the kid’s thighs, enjoying the hot as fuck view of Frank’s little hole stretched around his big cock. “Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you look right now?” asks Gerard, pushing his cock deeper into Frank’s hole. 

“ _Fuck_...” Frank moans, arching his back at the feel of Gerard entering him deeply. “Your dick feels so fucking good inside me, Gerard...” he says breathily. Frank can feel Gerard’s muscular thighs pressed up against his asscheeks and he loves it. He wraps his fist tightly around his own cock and starts jerking it back and forth in his hand as Gerard steadily fucks into him. 

“Can’t wait to watch you cum all over yourself again,” Gerard says, smirking. “Was so fucking hot watching you this morning.”

Frank laughs a bit and bites his bottom lip as he looks up at Gerard. “Can you find that spot again?” he asks. 

“Yeah,” Gerard says with a quick little nod. He pulls Frank by his thighs closer to the edge of the bed and sharply thrusts his hips forward, hitting Frank’s sweet spot immediately.

“Oh _fuck_ , that’s good, babe,” Frank moans, arching his back again. He puts the hand that’s not on his cock against Gerard’s abs, feeling them contracting and firming up with each thrust of his hips. “Fuck that ass, Gerard...fucking give it to me,” he says needily, looking up at Gerard with lust-filled eyes. 

Gerard gladly obliges and begins steadily fucking into Frank, hard and fast, not letting up for a second while Frank moans disjointedly beneath him, palming Gerard’s chest and abs with one hand while the other continues to jerk his cock back and forth. 

“Your hole is so goddamn tight, Frankie...fuck....” Gerard breathes out. He feels beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he athletically pounds into Frank’s ass, not stopping even once to rest. “Feels so fucking good around my dick,” he continues. 

Gerard looks down at Frank and he can tell that the kid is close to coming: his eyes are closed, fist is flying up and down his cock, toes are curling up in the air, breathing is fast, and he’s moaning nonstop. Gerard shakes his sweaty hair off of his forehead. He feels his own climax begin to build deep inside him as he’s just completely turned on by watching Frank looking incredibly sexy below him as he lies there getting fucked into the mattress. Gerard squeezes the backs of Frank’s thighs where he’s holding onto and pushes them farther back, spreading the smaller man open even more.

“Open your eyes, baby; look at me,” Gerard says. Frank opens his eyes and stares up at Gerard intensely. “Are you gonna cum?” Gerard asks.

Frank nods. “Yeah, soon...” he says breathily, feeling so close now. He puts the hand that’s not flying up and down his cock on top of one of Gerard’s where it’s pushing on the back of his thigh. 

Gerard starts fucking into Frank as hard as he can, making them both feel like they’re gonna cum any second now. Frank is moaning uncontrollably and it’s getting Gerard so fucking close just hearing him...

“You gonna cum for me?” Gerard asks, still holding intense eye contact with Frank as they both get closer and closer to orgasming. 

“Fuck yeah,” Frank breathes out, nodding, his fist still flying up and down his cock as he stares up at Gerard.

“Yeah?” Gerard says teasingly, smirking a bit, just enjoying watching Frank absolutely losing it beneath him. 

“ _Fuck_ yes...I’m gonna cum...” Frank breathes out.

With the two of them still holding intense eye contact, Gerard fucks into Frank’s sweet spot as hard as he can as Frank’s body begins to tense and shake beneath him and his cum begins to rhythmically spurt up onto his stomach and chest, decorating his skin with globs of the sticky, white fluid as he moans and arches his back against the mattress. 

“Holy fuck...you’re so sexy, baby...” Gerard says, watching Frank slow down the pace of his hand on his cock, squeezing out the last of his cum from the tip onto his fist.

“Oh my God...” Frank says, breathing hard, his hand still resting on his cock as he looks up at Gerard.

Gerard holds onto the top of the condom as he pulls his cock out of Frank’s hole, biting his lip when he sees the sexy gape it has now after being stretched out by his cock. He takes off the condom and starts jerking his cock back and forth in his hand as he looks down at Frank.

“Shoot that load all over me,” Frank orders, staring up at Gerard intensely, urging him closer and closer to his orgasm.

“Yeah? You want it?” says Gerard, continuing to jerk his cock.

“Fuck yeah, babe,” Frank says, nodding as he stares up at Gerard. “Fucking cum all over me.”

All of Frank’s words go straight to Gerard’s cock and he soon feels the pleasant warmth building in his lower abdomen and his muscles tense up as his cum shoots out, lining Frank’s abdomen and chest. 

“Holy _fuck_...” Gerard says, panting as he smiles down at Frank, admiring the two loads of cum splattered all down his body. 

Frank laughs a bit and smiles back up at Gerard. “My thoughts exactly—that was fucking amazing,” he says. “Come here; I wanna kiss you,” he says, reaching his arms up toward Gerard.

Gerard lowers his body down on top of Frank’s and rests his elbows on the bed on either side of Frank’s shoulders, letting Frank’s head rest in his open hands as the younger man firmly wraps his legs around Gerard’s waist. Frank puts his hands in Gerard’s hair and pulls him down for a long kiss. The two of them make out like that for a while, just thinking about how amazing the sex had been; about how much closer they feel to each other now in just the space of a day...


	11. Chapter 11

Frank feels himself being sweetly kissed awake on the neck and he groans pleasantly as he shifts around in bed, feeling Gerard’s warm body pressed up against his back with his arm draped over him and his palm resting against Frank’s “hope” tattoo. Frank smiles to himself and puts his hand on top of Gerard’s, enjoying the feel of the man’s lips pressing soft kisses against his skin. He feels a little sore as he’s shifting around in bed, and he gets pleasant butterflies in his stomach when he’s reminded of the incredibly intimate time he and Gerard had together yesterday evening. He remembers Gerard’s sweetness, his control, how he felt inside him... Afterwards they’d taken a long shower together, taking their time with cleaning each other off between making out and just standing there holding each other while the steady stream of steamy water dripped down their naked bodies. Frank can’t believe how amazing Gerard had made him feel...

Frank rolls over onto his other side to face Gerard and hooks his leg over the man’s hip before holding him close and kissing him. 

“Good morning,” he says with a smile when he pulls back.

Gerard smiles back. “Morning, baby,” he says. “How do you feel? Are you sore?” he asks, stroking Frank’s hair.

“I’m a little, sore, yeah, but nothing major,” Frank replies. 

“Is there anything you want me to get for you? I can go pick up some Advil if you need it.”

Frank shakes his head. “I’m fine; it’s really not that bad at all,” he says.

“Okay,” Gerard says, nuzzling his face into the crook of Frank’s neck. “What do you wanna do today?” he asks, his voice slightly muffled.

“Hmm... I dunno...” Frank replies. “What is there to do around here, anyway?”

“Around _here_? Fuck all,” Gerard says, chuckling lightly. “I can drive us somewhere though...” he says.

“Yeah? Like where?”

Gerard pulls back so that he’s looking at Frank again. “I wanna surprise you,” he says.

Frank laughs. “So, you just expect me to get in the truck with you without knowing where we’re going?”

“Yeah; it wouldn’t be the first time...” Gerard says, immediately regretting it.

“Yeah, I guess you’re not wrong about that...” Frank says a little awkwardly, recalling getting into Gerard’s car at gunpoint the first night they’d met.

“Fuck, I’m sorry...” Gerard says, sensing that he’d made Frank uncomfortable. “I’m so ashamed of how I acted back when we first met. I was a fucking asshole to you; I hurt you. After you tried to leave the morning after I brought you home with me, I tried to make you feel scared of me by threatening you with my gun because I didn’t want you to try it again—I knew Mason would kill us both if he found out I let you get away. None of that is any excuse for the way I treated you, though.”

Frank lets out a shaky breath, recalling those first traumatizing hours that he’d spent with Gerard just days earlier. He can’t deny that he’d been afraid of Gerard and that even now he’s still a little apprehensive around him at times because he isn’t sure just what exactly the man is capable of...

“It’s fine; I forgive you,” Frank says. He can’t help how soft he feels for Gerard. “And, I mean, yeah, some of the shit you did to me was fucking traumatizing, but I think time will sort of like, heal all of that eventually...at least I hope so.”

Gerard feels a pang of guilt in his chest and he feels like shit for the way he’d hurt Frank—both physically and mentally. He knows from experience that the mental hurts often take a much longer time to heal than the physical ones. He wraps his arms around Frank’s body and holds him close, just wanting him to feel safe in his arms.

“I’ll never hurt you again—I promise,” Gerard says sincerely.

Frank nods his head against Gerard’s chest, knowing that he means it.

*

“Okay, this is it,” Gerard says, pulling the truck into the parking lot.

Frank looks out the windshield and sees a small pebbly beach beyond the trees and grass, with slow, gentle waves rippling through the large body of water which it edges on. He smiles to himself at seeing the beautiful place that Gerard had decided to bring him to. He feels like it’s been forever since he’s been outside to enjoy nature and it’s a nice change from the bustle of the city.

Frank and Gerard both hop out of the black pickup truck and Frank walks around the front of it until he’s standing with Gerard.

“It’s pretty here,” Frank comments, looking out at the water again. “What is this place?” he asks, turning to Gerard.

“It’s called Marine Park,” Gerard replies. “Just thought it would be nice to walk the trail together and then maybe sit by the water with you for a while,” he says.

Frank smiles as he looks up at Gerard. Being out here with Gerard makes Frank feel like everything is normal; like there’s no one out there who wants to kill them. He walks with Gerard to the mouth of the wooded trail and the two of them set off.

“Do you think we’ll ever be able to have a normal life again?” Frank asks after a little while of walking.

Gerard looks over at Frank curiously. “What do you mean “normal?”” he asks. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a normal life.”

Frank shrugs. “I just mean, like, being able to go wherever we want and stuff.”

“Like back home? Off the run?”

“Yeah.”

Gerard shakes his head. “I don’t know,” he says honestly.

Frank’s face falls; he’d been hoping that Gerard would have a better answer for him. 

“Hey, why don’t you, like...stop worrying for one second?” Gerard says with a little smile.

Frank laughs a bit. “God, how the fuck are you so _chill_ all the time?” he asks. “I don’t know how you do it—literally nothing seems to phase you.”

Gerard chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m glad it seems that way, ‘cause that’s definitely not the case,” he says. 

“I feel like we’re complete opposites that way; I’m extremely high strung and you’re like...always cool as fuck.”

Gerard laughs. “I swear to God I’m not, but again, I’m glad it seems that way.”

“That makes absolutely no sense to me, but whatever,” Frank says, shaking his head.

“How does that not make sense?” Gerard asks, laughing again. “Just ‘cause I _seem_ like I’m calm on the outside doesn’t mean I’m not losing my shit on the inside.”

“Okay...but are you?” 

“Well, sometimes.”

“But are you worried about Mason?”

“Nah,” Gerard says, shaking his head.

“At least that makes one of us...”

“He’ll never find us,” Gerard says confidently.

“You really think that?”

“Yeah. How could he?”

“Trevor...”

“No fucking way,” Gerard says, shaking his head.

“You said yourself that it’s been like a year since you’ve seen him. How do you know he hasn’t like, made up with Mason or something and is working with him now?”

“He would never turn on me like that. You don’t know him like I do.”

“People change, Gerard. And a lot can happen in a year,” Frank says. “He has our pictures...who’s to say he hasn’t sent them to Mason or something to prove he knows exactly where we are? Was it his idea to make us those fake IDs?”

“He’d never do that to me, okay?” Gerard says. He has to believe that.

“Okay. Fine,” Frank nods, not wanting to spark Gerard’s often short temper. 

“Trevor can be a fucking idiot sometimes, but he’s no rat, that’s for goddamn sure.”

“Okay, fine, whatever,” Frank says dismissively, eager to get off the topic now. The two walk silently for a while until Frank speaks again. “Can you tell me something about yourself?” he asks as they continue on.

“That depends...” Gerard says, laughing. “What do you wanna know?”

“Like...where you grew up, what you do for fun, what some of your favourite things are...” Frank shrugs. He doesn’t even really care what Gerard chooses to share with him about himself; all he wants to know is a goddamn thing. It’s better than knowing nothing at all like he has this entire time.

Gerard sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He hates talking about himself but he figures he owes it to Frank to open up a little, especially considering the fact that they’d fucked last night. 

“Well, uh...I grew up in New Jersey, moved around a lot after high school while I was busy getting into trouble with my ex. Then I ended up moving out to California after I got out of jail a few years ago ‘cause of Mason’s “job opportunity” that I was forced to take,” Gerard explains. “How ‘bout you? Where’d you grow up?”

“I’ve always lived out in Cali,” says Frank.

“Yeah? What was it like growing up there?” Gerard asks. He’s definitely interested in the answer, but he also just wants to get the attention off of himself by asking.

Frank shrugs. “I’m an only child so as a teen I basically was always out skateboarding and smoking weed and playing guitar in local punk bands with my friends.”

“That sounds awesome,” Gerard says. “God, I was a fucking nightmare as a teenager...” he recalls.

Frank laughs. “That somehow doesn’t surprise me at all...” he says. “What kind of trouble did you get into?”

Gerard chuckles a bit. “I did a lot of shit... I was like seventeen when I first got arrested. Then I got kicked out of my own house when my parents found out I was gay and after that I dropped out of high school in my final year.”

“Shit...” Frank says empathetically. “Did that all happen around the time you met your ex?”

“Yeah, actually. I met Bert at this fuckin’ warehouse party in Clifton in twelfth grade. We were both just so fucking angry at the world and so we were both reckless as fuck—we hit it off immediately. He was trouble and I was trouble and together we were just...” Gerard’s voice trails off as he shakes his head. “Let’s just say I’m shocked that it took us being together for eight years before we got arrested,” he recalls, smiling a bit as he does. 

“You said you guys used to rob places together?” Frank recalls.

“Oh, we did a lot of bad shit together...some stuff I don’t even wanna tell you.”

“Why? ‘Cause you think I’ll judge you for it?”

“I just think it’d scare you.”

“Try me,” Frank says confidently. 

Gerard shakes his head, knowing he’s probably going to regret telling Frank what he’s about to say but going ahead anyway. “We used to get fucked up on all sorts of drugs and then fuckin’ mug people for fun, sometimes beating them so badly that you couldn’t even recognize them afterwards ‘cause of how swollen and bloody their faces were. We never killed anyone doing it, but we definitely seriously injured some people and they probably ended up in the hospital after we left them lying in the street. We did some pretty fucked up things that I’m definitely not proud of.”

Frank swallows audibly, feeling a little sick to his stomach after hearing Gerard describe what he used to do to people with his ex. He’s not feeling so confident anymore, all alone with the man on this basically deserted trail in the woods...

Gerard looks over and sees the uneasy expression on Frank’s face and he sighs. “See, I knew it’d scare you. That’s why I didn’t wanna tell you,” he says gently.

“I just...I dunno...I guess I would never even dream of doing that to someone...I just don’t understand how you could...”

“Being a drug addict—especially a teenaged drug addict with no guidance—can make you do shit you never thought you’d ever do.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true...” Frank says, recalling how he’d gotten himself into this whole mess in the first place. “Did you guys do...worse things than robbing places and assaulting people?” 

“Like murder? No. I’d never killed anyone until I started working for Mason.”

It gives Frank an unpleasant chill down his spine to hear how casually Gerard says it, as if it’s everyday that those words are spoken. Gerard looks over at Frank again, noticing that he looks uncomfortable. It makes him feel like shit, but Frank said he wanted to know more about him and he’s getting the truth. 

“Do you wanna head back?” Gerard asks, doubtful that Frank is having a good time.

Frank looks over at him and shakes his head, still with that uneasy look on his face. It breaks Gerard’s heart to see Frank looking so uncomfortable with him, but he can’t help who he is and what he’s done in his life.

“I’m not a good person, Frank; I’m not like you,” Gerard says, eyes averted to the ground as they walk.

“Gerard, stop...” Frank says gently, looking over at him. 

“No—it’s fucking true and you know it,” says Gerard, meeting Frank’s gaze.

“Well...it’s not like you can’t change. And I mean, it’s not like you _want_ to do those bad things now, right? You’ve been forced by Mason to stay stuck in that kind of lifestyle.”

Gerard thinks about how he still has the desire to kill Mason and feels a pang of guilt because Frank really has no idea what goes on in his mind, how he thinks, what he wants to do to that piece of shit... 

“Yeah, right. I can change,” Gerard says, nodding. But he doesn’t really believe it. He believes he’s already doomed to spend eternity in hell or wherever murderers go when they die.

“I could like...help you be a better person, just like how you’re helping me stay clean,” says Frank.

Gerard smiles, because he just thinks Frank is the most pure and sweet kid he’s ever met.

“Baby, you just being yourself helps me be to a better person. I feel so calm and at peace when it’s just you and me; all the bullshit in my mind just fades into the background.”

Frank smiles and blushes and looks down at his feet for a second before looking up at Gerard with his sincere hazel-green eyes. 

Gerard stops walking and reaches out and takes one of Frank’s hands in his. “You’re honestly the only good thing in my life right now, Frankie,” he says.

Frank can’t help but smile again as Gerard reaches up with his free hand and places it gently on his cheek before leaning in and softly kissing his lips. Frank contentedly sighs into the kiss and lets go of Gerard’s hand so he can drape his arms over the taller man’s shoulders as he goes up on his tiptoes a bit as they kiss. Gerard wraps his arms around Frank’s waist and holds him against his body, enjoying the closeness and how Frank makes him feel so warm.

When they pull away they’re both smiling at each other and their hearts feel all warm and fuzzy.

“I don’t know if you can tell, but I really like you, Gerard,” Frank says, looking up at him with such an endearing look in his eyes that makes the older man absolutely melt.

“You sure?” Gerard asks. He knows how easy it can be to mistake someone making you feel good and safe for actually liking them as a person and wanting to be with them.

“I just know that I’ve never felt this way about anyone else,” says Frank.

“Have you heard of Stockholm Syndrome?”

Frank’s brow furrows. “Are you serious? That isn’t what this fucking is,” Frank says, sounding offended.

“Look, I’m sorry—I just can’t tell if you actually like me or if you just think that you do because you’re scared of me... Like, maybe you telling yourself you like me is a coping mechanism or something...” 

“Are these like, actual thoughts that go through your brain? ‘Cause if they are, then your fucking trust issues are showing,” Frank says somewhat coldly.

Gerard feels his face get hot because he realizes how ridiculous and paranoid he’s being, though he really had his doubts that Frank’s feelings for him are genuine.

“I’ve just...never been in this kind of situation before. I don’t know what to think...”

“Gerard, you don’t need to fucking think anymore. Just trust me. I like you—a lot. Okay?” Frank says, smiling a bit.

Gerard smiles back, finally letting his guard down and letting himself just believe what he’s hearing without questioning it. “Okay,” he says, nodding.

Frank goes up on his tiptoes again slightly and kisses Gerard softly. Gerard then takes Frank’s hand in his and threads their fingers together, making Frank go all soft as they continue walking down the trail.

* 

They turn back down the trail about thirty minutes later as it starts to sprinkle rain and by the time they get back into the truck it’s absolutely pouring down.

“Shit, I probably should’ve looked at the weather forecast before I decided to bring you out here,” Gerard says. “Didn’t think it was gonna piss rain this badly.”

“It’s all good. Was nice spending time together outside of a hotel room for a while,” says Frank. “Made things seem normal for a little while.”

“Yeah, it was nice,” Gerard agrees. What do you wanna do now?” he asks.

Frank shrugs. “I dunno,” he says. “Drive around?”

“Okay,” Gerard says, starting up the truck. He puts his hand on Frank’s thigh as he drives and Frank puts his hand on top of Gerard’s. The two of them just want to be close to each other and it shows. Gerard’s not sure if he’s ever felt this soft for anyone before. 

As Gerard continues to drive, Frank finds himself studying the man’s handsome profile, just wondering what he’s thinking about, wanting to know everything about him...

“What‘s up?” Gerard asks. He’d noticed Frank staring and quickly glances over at him as he drives.

“Nothin’,” says Frank, shaking his head dreamily. “Just enjoying the view,” he says.

Gerard chuckles. “You’re a fucking sweetheart, you know that, Frankie?” he says, squeezing Frank’s thigh affectionately as he focuses on the road. 

Frank blushes, loving how Gerard endearingly calls him “Frankie” every now and then. He soon realizes that Gerard is pulling into a strip mall parking lot and looks over at him inquisitively. “Where’re we going?” he asks.

Gerard doesn’t answer at first, just pulls the truck into a parking stall in front of a twenty-four hour drugstore and puts it in park. “In there,” he says, gesturing towards the drugstore.

“What for?” Frank asks, taking off his seatbelt. He hopes this isn’t another surprise meetup with another one of Gerard’s ex-cellmates or something. 

“We need supplies,” Gerard replies vaguely. He opens the truck door and Frank follows after him into the rain.

Frank quickly walks around to the front of the truck where he meets Gerard. “Last time you said we were getting “supplies” you bought a fucking gun from your friend...” he points out. “So I really don’t have a clue what to expect here.”

Gerard chuckles and takes Frank’s hand in his as they walk into the store through the automatic sliding doors at the front entrance. “What do you think we’re getting?” he asks, leading the way past aisle after aisle, seeming like he knows exactly what he’s looking for. 

There aren’t many people inside the store, but Frank notices that the few people they do pass by stare a little longer than they should at two men holding hands. He’s definitely not used to it as it’s his first time being affectionate with another guy in public, but he feels secure with Gerard beside him and doesn’t let the lingering eyes of strangers bother him too much. He definitely loves that they’re holding hands and he loves it even more that Gerard had initiated it.

“I dunno...” Frank says. 

Gerard suddenly turns into an aisle and Frank quickly follows behind him, being slightly pulled by Gerard’s hand as the taller man walks faster than him. Frank notices personal care items on the shelves in the aisle and then sees the boxes of condoms and bottles of personal lubricant. As Gerard stops walking, suddenly it clicks in Frank’s head as to what he‘s after here.

“Supplies,” Gerard says, smirking a bit as he gestures towards the shelf.

Frank nods, blushing a bit. “Yeah, I see that now...” he says.

“I want you to pick what kind of condoms we get,” Gerard says. 

“What? _I’m_ picking?” Frank says unsurely, not really accustomed to making any of his own decisions lately.

“Yeah. Why not? You’re the one that’s really gonna experience the feel of whatever type we get,” Gerard points out. He browses the shelves and reads out the options for Frank. “There’s ribbed, gel-embedded, ultra-thin...” he says, his eyes scanning across the shelves as he reads the descriptions on the different boxes.

Frank’s a little overwhelmed by all the choices. “Whatever kind we used yesterday felt pretty good...” he says.

“I think that was ultra-thin,” says Gerard.

“Okay, then let’s get that one,” says Frank.

Gerard nods. “All right,” he says. He picks out a bottle of lube from the shelf that claims to create a warming sensation when applied. “This okay?” he asks, showing the bottle to Frank.

“Yeah, looks fine,” Frank says, nodding.

“All right,” says Gerard. “D’you want anything else while we’re here?” he asks.

“No, thanks; let’s just...get outta here,” Frank says quickly, tugging on Gerard’s hand a bit, suddenly feeling eager to get back to their hotel suite to make use of their newly acquired “supplies.”

“Okay, let’s go,” Gerard smirks knowingly before they head towards the checkout.

*

Gerard and Frank get back to the hotel and during the elevator ride up to the sixth floor they can barely keep their hands off of each other: Gerard walks Frank backwards until his back is up against one of the four walls and presses his body against his. Frank’s hands are all over Gerard as they make out, feeling his muscular upper arms and his chest before running them up and down his sides and tangling them in his longish black hair. He’s so fucking horny that he starts undoing Gerard’s pants right there in the elevator...

Gerard laughs lightly against Frank’s lips and firmly grasps his wrists at that point, stopping him from going any further than unbuttoning his pants in case the elevator doors suddenly open and someone sees them getting hot and heavy in there. “Slow down,” he says, his voice nearly a whisper. “We have all afternoon...”

The idea of Gerard fucking him for hours has Frank practically shuddering with arousal. “Just want you so bad...” he breathes out before pressing his lips against Gerard’s again, kissing him intensely. 

“Gonna make you feel so fucking good, baby...” Gerard says between heavy kisses, smiling against Frank’s lips, causing the younger man to make a little whining noise that makes Gerard’s cock get even harder than it is already. 

When the elevator finally arrives at the sixth floor, the two men quickly pour out of it, and when they get to their suite Gerard swipes his key card and unlocks the door before they go inside.

As soon as they get their shoes off, Frank immediately pulls Gerard by the hand, leading him into the bedroom where Gerard tosses the box of condoms and the bottle of lube onto the bed before twisting his hand out of Frank’s grip and firmly pushing on the younger man’s shoulders until he falls backwards down onto the bed. Gerard quickly climbs on top of Frank, straddling his legs, and grabs his wrists, pinning his arms above his head with all his body weight before leaning down and kissing him hard on the mouth. 

Frank moans into the kiss, completely turned on by the dominance Gerard is exerting over him right now; his fingers begin to tingle slightly as the circulation to his hands is slowly being cut off, but it’s just turning him on even more. He knows Gerard wouldn’t hurt him on purpose, but for some reason he kind of _wants_ him to...he wants to be choked, restrained, spanked—he’s just not really sure how to tell Gerard what he wants.

Gerard pulls away for a moment and flips his hair out of his eyes as he looks down at Frank. The younger man lying beneath him is breathing hard and looking up at him with a longing, lustful look in his eyes that makes Gerard just want to take him right then. 

“Look at you...” Gerard says somewhat dreamily, just taking in how gorgeous and sexy Frank is. His lips are flushed dark pink and shiny with saliva from their kissing, and the way the ends of his hair are curling around his ears is fucking adorable. “Are you mine?” Gerard asks.

Frank almost moans from how turned on he is by Gerard asking him that. “Fuck yeah,” he says, nodding, smiling.

“Yeah? Tell me,” Gerard urges, grinding himself down against Frank’s cock. He needs to hear him say it.

“I’m yours, Gerard...all fucking yours,” Frank says, maintaining intense eye contact with the older man. He wants Gerard to kiss him again so badly, just needs to be so close to him. “Come here...” he says, lifting his head up a bit. 

Gerard obliges and leans down to kiss Frank hard on the lips again. He lets go of Frank’s wrists and brings his own hands down to the top edge of the front of Frank’s jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them quickly before scooting backwards so that he can pull them down Frank’s legs. He gets off of Frank so that he can completely take off the younger man’s jeans and underwear, and then he stands up for a moment to undress himself while Frank sits up and pulls off his own T-shirt. 

Now that they’re both completely naked, Gerard gets back onto the bed and pushes Frank’s legs back until his knees are tucked in against his chest. Frank can’t take his eyes off of Gerard’s hard cock and Gerard shakes his head a bit as he admires Frank’s perfect little hole which is now completely exposed to him.

“Shit...” Frank says breathily as he looks through his spread legs at Gerard’s cock. “I’m still not over how fucking big your dick is,” he says, smirking a bit as he wraps one of his hands around the shaft of his own cock which is already leaking a bead of clear precum from the slit.

Gerard chuckles a bit as he grabs the bottle of lube from where it’s lying on the bed next to them. “Love seeing you all spread open for me like this...so fucking sexy,” he says, still staring at Frank’s pretty, pink hole as he squeezes some of the clear lube out onto his fingers. 

“Want you to kiss it like you did yesterday...” Frank says needily, slowly moving his hand up and down on his own cock.

Gerard smirks, loving that Frank is practically begging for his mouth on his hole. “Yeah? That what you want, baby?” he asks teasingly. 

“Yeah,” Frank nods, looking up at Gerard with those adorable puppy eyes that he can’t fucking resist.

“How badly do you want it though?” Gerard asks, lying down with his face close to Frank’s opening and beginning to press soft, open-mouthed kisses against his inner thighs and asscheeks. 

Frank moans lightly and squirms around a bit with anticipation, loving the way Gerard’s teasing him right now. “Want it so fucking bad, babe...” he says breathily. 

“Yeah? That badly, huh?” he says. He presses his lips firmly against Frank’s hole for a second and kisses him there just once, making him arch his back and cry out in pleasure, before going back to kissing all over his inner thighs again.

“ _Fuck_ , babe...” Frank moans. He lets go of his cock, grabs a handful of Gerard’s hair and tries to pull his head back towards his hole. 

Gerard chuckles a bit and looks up at Frank through his legs. “So impatient...think I need to punish you for that,” he says.

“Yes, please...” Frank says, smirking as he meets Gerard’s eyes. 

Frank pulls Gerard’s hair again, pushing the man’s mouth back to his hole, and Gerard can’t fucking hold back anymore—he puts his hands on the backs of Frank’s thighs, getting lube from his fingers all over the left one, and pushes them even farther back as he goes at Frank’s hole, kissing and licking it feverishly, taking in his natural scent, feeling his own cock getting even harder as he does. 

“Oh my _God_...fuck yeah, Gerard...” Frank moans, his hand still in Gerard’s hair, on the back of his head.

“You like that?” Gerard asks teasingly when he pulls back for a second.

“Fuck yes, so good...” Frank groans. “Eat that fucking ass, babe...” he says.

“Goddamn, you’re fucking naughty, Frankie...” Gerard says between wet kisses against Frank’s tight, contracting hole. 

“Want you to choke me,” Frank says breathily, taking his hand out of Gerard’s hair and beginning to jack his cock again. 

Gerard pushes his tongue right into Frank’s tight hole then, making him arch his back again and moan loudly as he does. 

“Oh _fuck_...” Frank moans, squeezing his eyes shut as he enjoys the immense pleasure Gerard’s mouth and tongue are giving him right now. 

Gerard gives it to him relentlessly for a while, until his jaw needs a rest, and then he sits back on his knees and wipes the saliva off his mouth with the back of his hand, admiring Frank looking all needy and sexy as he lies there spread open for him. 

Gerard then opens the box of condoms, rips one of the square packets off the strip, tears it open and rolls the condom down onto his cock. He then takes the bottle of lube and puts some onto his fingers again as well as onto his now condom-covered cock. 

“Gonna stretch you out a bit with my fingers before I fuck your pretty hole, boy,” Gerard says, beginning to rub his slick fingers against Frank’s tight asshole as he sits back on his knees. He watches Frank’s eyes slip shut as he continues to slowly jerk himself off, and smiles when Frank lets out this adorable whining noise when Gerard’s index finger easily slips into his waiting hole.

“Fuck, that’s good...” Frank breathes out. “Can’t wait to feel your fuckin’ huge cock inside me again...” he says, looking up at Gerard. 

Gerard smiles down at the younger man, enjoying his sexy dirty-talk. He gently pushes both his middle and index fingers into Frank’s hole, making him moan lightly at the feel of being stretched open further. Gerard still hasn’t touched his own cock once—he wants to be able to last as long as he can for Frank, wants to relentlessly fuck him into the mattress until he’s cumming all over his fist...

After Gerard has fingered Frank for a few minutes and feels like he’s loosened up enough, he withdraws his fingers and moves a bit closer to Frank until the front of his thighs are pressed up against his asscheeks.

“You gonna fuck me?” Frank asks, smirking a bit, just wanting to hear Gerard tell him. 

“Yeah, I’m gonna fuck that tight ass,” Gerard says, rubbing the head of his cock firmly against Frank’s hole, making the younger man squirm beneath him. “You can hurt me if I hurt you, ‘kay?” he smirks. “Or just tell me to fuck off.” 

Frank laughs a bit and smiles up at Gerard. “Okay,” he says, nodding. “Kiss me, babe...” he says, reaching his arms up and making grabby-hands at Gerard.

Gerard smiles, just thinking about how fucking adorable this kid is, and leans down to softly kiss Frank on the mouth as the younger man puts both of his hands in Gerard’s hair. Gerard begins to firmly press the head of his cock against Frank’s tight hole as they kiss each other sensually, enjoying the way Frank is gently pulling his hair and quietly whimpering into his mouth. The head of Gerard’s cock suddenly slips inside of Frank, causing the younger man to pull his lips away from Gerard’s and inhale sharply at the intense feel of the sudden stretch. Frank takes one of his hands out of Gerard’s hair and places it on Gerard’s chest, gently pushing back against it.

“You okay?” Gerard asks gently, watching Frank’s face intently as he feels his cock get even more engorged with how fucking good the head of it feels inside of Frank’s warm tightness. 

“Yeah, I’m good—you can keep going,” Frank nods, looking up at Gerard. “Just takes me a moment to get used to how fucking big you are,” he says, smiling and blushing a bit as he says it. 

Gerard smiles and kisses Frank again, loving how he’s still palming one of his pecs, squeezing it firmly as Gerard continues to push into him slowly. Gerard nuzzles his face against Frank’s neck and kisses him there. “You feel so good, baby...” he says against his skin. “So fucking good...”

Gerard soon presses into Frank deeply as his entire length becomes enclosed inside of him and Frank flexes his neck, pushing his head back into the pillow as he moans with his mouth right up close to Gerard’s ear, sending a shiver through the man’s body as he feels Frank’s hot breath ghosting against the side of his face. 

“God, you’re so fucking deep...” Frank breathes out, wrapping his legs around Gerard’s body and draping his arms over his shoulders, pulling him closer. 

“Mhm,” Gerard says, still kissing Frank’s neck, leaving marks, claiming him. “Want me to find your sweet spot?” he asks.

“Fuck yeah,” Frank nods, rubbing his hands up and down Gerard’s back.

“‘Kay, hold on—I’m gonna stand up,” Gerard says. He holds onto the top of the condom with one hand as he pulls out of Frank and then stands up before pulling Frank closer to him by his legs until his ass is right at the edge of the bed. 

Frank lets out a pleasant groan when Gerard slowly enters him again, loving the feeling of being suddenly stretched out again. Gerard sharply thrusts his hips forward and Frank arches his back as the head of Gerard’s cock brushes against his prostate, making him feel an intense rush of pleasure. 

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Frank moans, letting his eyes flutter shut for a moment as Gerard starts pulling back again. 

“There?” Gerard asks knowingly, intently watching Frank’s pleasure-filled facial expressions as he gears up to fuck into him again.

“Yeah,” Frank says breathily, nodding. “So fucking good...”

Gerard wraps his right fist around Frank’s cock and starts jerking him off just before thrusting his hips into him sharply again, making him moan even louder this time as his sweet spot is stimulated once more. Gerard feels Frank’s precum literally dripping down his hand as he strokes his cock and it makes him so fucking hot.

“Fuck, you’re so damn tight, baby...” Gerard marvels, speeding up his pace as Frank whimpers and moans beneath him. He takes his hand off of Frank’s cock then and wraps it around the kid’s throat. “Tap my arm or fuckin’ hurt me or something if you want me to let go,” he says before beginning to apply light pressure as he squeezes.

Frank is practically in a daze as Gerard starts fucking into him the hardest he has yet, getting his spot every time while tightening his grip on his throat. Gerard slips his thumb into Frank’s mouth as he chokes him, swirling it around and letting Frank suck on it, trailing saliva over his bottom lip as he tugs down on it teasingly. Frank starts touching himself again as his field of vision begins to darken around the edges and he begins to see stars as Gerard continues to fuck him hard into the mattress. 

Gerard lets go of Frank’s throat then and slows down his pace, seeing the younger man’s face getting super flushed and his eyes begin to slip shut.

Frank gasps for air as he looks up at Gerard. “Holy fuck...” he says breathily with a half-smile and a dazed expression on his face as his colour begins to return to normal. 

Gerard chuckles a bit as he looks down at Frank. “You good?” he asks, continuing to fuck into him slowly.

“Fuck yeah,” Frank says, nodding as he laughs lightly. 

Just after Gerard starts fucking into Frank hard again and has him moaning disjointedly beneath him as he jerks himself off, the hotel phone on the bedside table begins to ring loudly, startling them both.

Gerard looks over at the phone, which is in reach, and then down at Frank, still giving it to him hard. “Might be Trev,” he says.

Frank nods, expecting Gerard to pull out or stop or something so he can answer the phone. But, to Frank’s astonishment, Gerard firmly presses the palm of his left hand over Frank’s mouth before he picks up the phone with his right, all the while continuing to fuck into Frank.

“Hello?” Gerard speaks confidently into the receiver, looking down at Frank and seeing the shock in his eyes as he moans into the older man’s hand, still pleasuring himself as he’s getting fucked hard.

“Hey, buddy,” Trevor says on the other end. “Those IDs are ready for you,” he says.

“Seriously? Already?” Gerard says, surprised. “You said it’d be a few days.” He thrusts against Frank’s sweet spot extra hard, making him arch his back and let out a muffled moan into Gerard’s hand, and Gerard smirks down at him as he continues his phone conversation.

“Yeah, I haven’t slept at all; the stuff I took...” Trevor’s voice trails off. “I figured I’d just work all night, get some shit done since I was gonna be awake anyway, y’know...” he says.

“Uh-huh,” Gerard says. He fucks into Frank’s spot sharply again and suddenly Frank is cumming all over his stomach and chest, moaning nonstop against Gerard’s hand, and Gerard starts slowing down. “Think I could come by your suite tomorrow to pick it up?” he asks, taking his left hand off of Frank’s mouth, letting him breathe, and slowly pulling his cock out of him. 

“Nah, tomorrow won’t work for me, man; got something going on...” Trevor says. “How ‘bout you meet me today? When are you free?” he asks.

Gerard pauses for a moment before he responds. Something in the way Trevor’s speaking makes him think that something isn’t quite right—he doesn’t sound like his usual self. “I’m just...in the middle of something at the moment,” Gerard says as he glances over the the clock on the bedside table—it’s just after three of clock. “Can we meet at seven?”

“Yeah, yeah, seven’s great,” Trevor says. “There’s this bar, Redlight, it’s on State Street—meet me there, and make sure you bring Frank with you.”

Gerard becomes still and furrows his brow, looking down at Frank, who can tell that something’s going on. Gerard holds up a finger to his lips, motioning to Frank to stay quiet.

“All right,” Gerard says. “Would it be a good idea to bring the sexy new friend I met yesterday?” he asks, and Frank looks up at him curiously, wondering what the hell he’s talking about.

There’s a pause on the other end for a second before Trevor replies. “ _Oh_ —yeah, definitely, hundred percent. That’s a great idea,” Trevor says.

Gerard feels his blood run cold. “All right, great. See you then, bud,” he says before hanging up the phone.

“What was that about?” Frank asks worriedly. The last time Gerard told him to keep quiet during a phone call he was talking to Mason...

“Trevor said he finished making our fake IDs. And he invited us out to a bar tonight,” Gerard says, leaning over and kissing Frank softly. He has a gut feeling that something terrible is going to happen at Redlight, but he tries not to let on—the last thing he wants is for Frank to panic.

Frank pulls away, looking up at Gerard. “Is there something going on, Gerard? Why’d you tell me to keep quiet? And why’d it seem like you were talking to Trevor in code or something?” he asks.

“Baby...” Gerard says, hiding his face in the crook of Frank’s neck, breathing in his now familiar scent, wishing they could just stay like this forever, wishing this bliss could last forever... He feels his eyes sting with tears and he bites his lip, trying to keep his emotions in check, to not get ahead of himself with thinking about what could happen.

“Gerard?” Frank says, his heart rate beginning to speed up. He knows something is wrong and he gets even more worried when he feels a drop of warm liquid rolling down his neck. “Gerard, look at me; talk to me,” he says almost frantically. He’s so used to Gerard being the strong one—his protector—the one who has it all together. It makes him feel incredibly insecure to see him so vulnerable all of a sudden. 

Gerard lifts himself off of Frank’s body and sits on the edge of the bed. He wipes his damp eyes and takes a deep breath, pulling himself together as Frank sits up next to him, gently placing a hand on his forearm.

“Gerard, what’s the matter?” Frank asks again, growing increasingly worried. 

Gerard looks over at Frank and smiles at him a little, studying his face, looking into his beautiful hazel-green eyes. “Oh, Frankie, you’re incredible,” he says, tucking a curled lock of his hair behind his ear. “I wish I could show you how much you mean to me.”

“Gerard, stop...” Frank says, hating that the way Gerard’s speaking right now sounds like he’s saying goodbye or something. 

Gerard sighs. “I’ll tell you what’s going on,” he says, feeling that Frank should know. “But you have to promise me that after I do, you’ll do exactly what I tell you to do, okay?”

Frank nods, though he’s suddenly afraid to know. “Okay,” he says. “I promise.”

Gerard sighs again before he speaks. “I’m almost positive that Mason is holding Trevor hostage right now and is making him lead us to him,” he says. “He didn’t sound at all like himself on the phone and so I asked him in code if I should bring my gun to the bar tonight and he told me I definitely should.”

And right then, as Frank’s blood runs cold and he starts feeling sick to his stomach, he knows that he’d been absolutely right to be afraid to know what’s going on...


	12. Chapter 12

Frank is in shock as he sits there on the edge of the bed next to Gerard; all the colour has drained from his face and and he feels like he’s gonna be sick. Gerard feels terrible—he knew that telling Frank would send him into a panic but he felt like the kid needed to know; it would have been unfair to leave him in the dark about a situation that affects him just as much as it affects Gerard.

“How can you be so sure Mason’s here? Trevor sounding weird on the phone isn’t really much to go off of, is it? What if he was just fucking with you? He _does_ joke around a lot...” Frank says, speaking quickly with his voice shaking nervously. 

Gerard shakes his head. “I’m not a hundred percent sure,” he admits. “But I just _know_ Trev—he would never joke about something like that. And if he’d been alone he would have definitely remarked about me asking if I should bring my “sexy new friend,” or at least laughed or _some_ thing. My gut feeling just tells me that another person was in the room with him...whether it was Mason or someone else—I don’t know.”

“Shit...” Frank says, biting his lip anxiously and looking worriedly at Gerard. “Well, shouldn’t we be getting the fuck out of here?” he asks, sounding pressed. “There’s no way we’re just gonna walk into Mason’s trap at that bar, right?”

Gerard sighs. “It’s not that simple,” he says. “You really think he would get this close to us and then risk letting us get away? Not a fucking chance. I guarantee you he’s got his guys watching all the exits in this place...watching us, making sure we both get to Redlight tonight...”

Frank sighs frustratedly. “What the fuck are we gonna do, then?” he asks, growing increasingly anxious. “Mason’s just gonna kill us if we go to that bar, right? How the fuck are we gonna get out of this?”

“Have you ever fired a gun before?” asks Gerard, looking over at Frank and already knowing the answer based on the way his eyes are widening.

“Gerard...I am _not_ fucking shooting anyone,” Frank says firmly, shaking his head as he guesses where Gerard is going with this question.

“You fucking will if you have to. I want you to know the basics of how to use a handgun properly so you can defend yourself if it comes to that,” Gerard says, equally as firmly.

Frank has this helpless expression on his face because he knows Gerard is right; when it comes down to his life versus someone else’s, he’s gonna choose his own every single time whether he’s opposed to murdering someone or not. “I’m so fucking scared...” Frank admits.

Gerard smiles a little, though Frank can see the hint of sadness behind his eyes. “You’ve got this, Frankie—it’s actually pretty easy,” he says encouragingly. “I’ll give you a quick lesson after we get cleaned up, c’mon...” 

Gerard takes Frank’s hand and leads him into the en-suite bathroom where they take a long, hot shower together. After they’ve dried off and dressed, Gerard gives Frank a quick lesson on how to use a handgun and Frank’s hands are shaking the entire time; he’s never even held a gun before and he’s surprised at how cold and heavy and powerful it feels in his hands. Of course Frank doesn’t actually fire the gun, but he pretends to pull the trigger a few times as he aims at the wall for practice and hopes he won’t have to actually shoot at anyone tonight because he doesn’t feel confident in his abilities at all.

Frank and Gerard spend the rest of the evening lying in bed together, cuddling and kissing and talking and just enjoying the comfort of each other’s company, wishing this time together would never end. By the time six o’ clock rolls around, Frank’s stomach is in knots. Gerard is in a totally different headspace than Frank has seen before: he’s on edge and stone-faced, ready to be coldblooded and murderous if he has to. Gerard isn’t going to let anything happen to Frank even if it kills him.

Soon, they both make their way down to the lobby and out into the parking lot where they get into the truck. Gerard is driving as slowly as he can without pissing off the other drivers on the road so that he can maximize this time spent alone with Frank, thinking this could be the last of all the rides they take. Their fingers are intertwined on Frank’s lap and Gerard is gently stroking the back of Frank’s hand with his thumb as he drives silently. They eventually get to the parking lot of Redlight and it’s completely empty of vehicles. As Gerard turns off the engine he figures the bar must be closed tonight, making it the perfect venue for a double-murder. He looks over at Frank and his heart breaks when he sees that the kid is wiping a fallen tear off his cheek with the back of his hand. 

“Frankie, you gotta be strong. No matter what happens. Okay?” Gerard says. He’s trying not to baby him too much just before they go in inside because the atmosphere in there is going to be ruthless and uncaring and he wants Frank to be somewhat prepared for the coldness of it all.

Frank can’t bear to think of anything happening to Gerard just as much as Gerard can’t bear to think of anything happening to Frank. It’s not long before their arms are wrapped around each other in a tight embrace, silently hoping this isn’t the last time they hold each other. Gerard starts thinking about how much Frank means to him, and how right now he wants Frank to know exactly how he feels about him in case he dies tonight...

“I, uh...I feel like I should tell you this sooner rather than later...y’know, ‘cause I don’t know what’s gonna happen tonight...” Gerard begins nervously, pulling back from Frank’s embrace. His heart is pounding in his chest and Frank is looking at him expectantly. “And, like...I don’t expect you to return the sentiment or anything, but...I just want you to know...I love you, Frank.”

Frank is speechless for a moment before he speaks. “Gerard...oh my God...” he says softly, his eyes watering a bit as the man’s heartfelt declaration sinks in. He’s never been in love before and he honestly doesn’t even know for sure if he loves Gerard, too, though he definitely feels a strong connection to him.

Gerard smiles a little. He’s not at all disappointed—he hadn’t even been expecting Frank to say it back to him; he was prepared for this. He’s just glad that Frank knows how he feels now, before it’s too late...

“I know it’s kinda soon, and the circumstances aren’t the best—to put it lightly—but, you’re honestly everything to me, Frankie. I’m prepared to fucking die for you in there if I have to.”

“Gerard, fuck...” Frank says exasperatedly, feeling himself getting choked up again. “Don’t say that,” he says softly, his eyes now welling up even more with tears. He doesn’t want to fucking think about the possibility of Gerard getting killed; he just doesn’t have the emotional capacity for it right now. 

“Baby...” Gerard says softly, his heart breaking as he sees how upset Frank is. He affectionately brushes his thumb across Frank’s cheek. “I’m sorry...you know I don’t sugar-coat anything. I just want you to be prepared in case something happens to me. I honestly don’t know what we’re about to walk into...”

“If you die, I’m fucking dying, too,” Frank sniffs, wiping a fallen tear off his cheek with the back of his hand.

Gerard manages a soft, sad chuckle. “I’m not gonna let that happen,” he says confidently. “Remember how earlier you promised me you’ll do exactly what I tell you to do?”

Frank nods nervously. “Yeah,” he says.

“Good. I’m gonna need you to remember that when we go in there. Don’t ask any questions, just do what I tell you to do—no matter what—even if you’re scared or if you don’t want to. And don’t give any fuckin’ attitude, even if Mason pisses you off; don’t give him a reason to hurt you. Got it?”

Frank nods silently, wondering what could possibly be asked of him while they’re inside... Gerard smiles a little, appreciating how well Frank is seeming to handle all of this despite how obviously scared he is.

“You’re so fuckin’ brave, Frankie. I hope you realize that,” Gerard says sincerely. 

Frank manages a small smile. “Hardly feels like it, but thanks,” he says.

Gerard smiles again, just taking in how beautiful Frank is, the sparkle in his eyes... His heart is aching but he’s determined to not let Frank see him cry again—not now. Frank needs him to be strong for the both of them right now and Gerard knows it. 

“I love you so much, baby,” Gerard says softly, just wanting to make sure Frank knows and hoping deep down that he might say it back this time. 

Frank blushes and looks down at his lap for a moment, still feeling unsure, and when he looks up at Gerard again, the man presses a soft kiss onto his lips. 

“Let’s go...” Gerard says, and Frank nods apprehensively.

The two of them get out of the truck and walk side-by-side towards the entrance to the bar. Gerard is carrying his gun in the inside pocket of his black leather jacket and Frank is carrying his tucked into the back waistband of his jeans, underneath his shirt and his black hoodie.

When they get to the entrance doors and walk inside of the empty bar, they’re immediately accosted by Mason’s two large bodyguards, who Gerard recognizes from the dozens of times he’s met them at Mason’s mansion in the Hills or at other spots they’ve met up at. Frank hasn’t seen either of the two bodyguards before; he’s even only met Mason twice—each time equally as terrifying—as he mostly interacted with Mason’s higher-tier street dealers. One of the bodyguards is about six feet tall and hefty while the other one is slightly shorter but just as bulky-looking. 

The shorter bodyguard roughly grabs Frank by his upper arm and shoves him face first against the wall before proceeding to frisk him, patting down his arms, torso and legs, and finding the handgun tucked into the back of his jeans. The taller guard does the same to Gerard, roughly shoving him against the wall and frisking him until he finds the handgun tucked inside his leather jacket. Frank’s heart is pounding and he’s wondering how the fuck they’re gonna survive this without their guns. He’s hoping Gerard has a plan...

The silent guards each tuck the confiscated guns into their coats. Gerard and Frank share a quick, anxious look just before they’re roughly dragged through the entryway and down a flight of stairs to what seems to be the basement of the bar. When they get down there, the guards take them down a short, dark, dingy hallway until they get to a room at the end of it and are shoved through the doorway. 

Inside, the space looks like it’s meant to be used for private parties when the bar is operating—Mason is sitting on one of the three red, plush couches, casually holding a gun in one hand which is resting in his lap and a lit cigarette between his lips. His expression is cold and uncaring and he stands up when Frank and Gerard are positioned in front of him, standing next to each other. Trevor is standing next to Mason, looking like stone instead of his usual, jovial self, with a bloody bruise below his left eye which Gerard guesses is from Mason beating information out of him. Trevor makes eye contact with Gerard just for a moment and nods his head ever-so-slightly, just to let Gerard know that he’s got their backs. 

“They’re unarmed,” the taller guard announces, letting go of Gerard and patting his coat pocket. The shorter guard in turn lets go of Frank and then the two of them move to stand on either side of the exit doors.

“They’d better be—that’s your only fuckin’ job,” Mason says. He puts his cigarette out on his right forearm without batting an eye, and then he throws the butt onto the floor as he grins insincerely with his diamond grill sparkling in the dim lighting, making the scar across his left cheek crease up unattractively. “You got some explaining to do, Way,” Mason begins, his voice coming out oddly casual-sounding as he paces back and forth where he stands. 

“I had some of my associates track down my cousin—turns out he ain’t hard to find. Anyway, it took some time and a little force, but I found out what I needed to know: you didn’t kill that pathetic junkie standing next to you like you said you would. So, what the fuck happened, huh? One day I’m at your house and you’re telling me you’re gonna kill him the next day after you fuck him a few times, then the next day comes and you’re not answering your phone, you’re not answering your door... I found out why when I had my guys break your door down—found your clothes scattered, no sign of the kid; you fucked off outta town without a word.” 

Mason stops pacing then and starts slowly walking towards Gerard. “I just kept thinking to myself, _there’s gotta be a good reason why this guy would just take off like this when he knows what I’m capable of doing to him_... Now, I like to think I’m a pretty reasonable guy, so I’m gonna give you a chance to explain yourself before I tell you what your options are. So, I’m all ears.”

“I’m not explaining shit to you,” Gerard says bitingly. “Use your goddamn imagination,” he adds. He’s pretty damn sure Mason had already gotten the story out of Trevor anyway, judging by his friend’s busted up face. 

Mason smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He walks right up to Gerard until Gerard can feel the evil man’s breath on his face as he speaks. “You’re not gonna waste anymore of my fuckin’ time, Way. You’re done,” he says coldly. 

Mason takes a step sideways and is standing in front of Frank now, shaking his head. “You fucking useless junkie thief,” he says disgustedly. “I was trying to do the world a favour by having you killed, it’s a shame—“ but Mason doesn’t get a chance to finish because Frank, burning with rage as he’s being talked down on and disrespected, spits right in Mason’s face as he’s speaking.

Gerard is absolutely horrified and he shoots Frank a fiery look of disapproval, knowing that whatever is coming next is not going to be good. Mason suddenly grabs Frank by the shoulders, throws him down to the floor, knocking the wind out of him, and then starts kicking Frank repeatedly in the ribs as he covers his face and head and he cries out in pain.

“Hey! Get the fuck off him!” Gerard screams, lunging at Mason and punching him in the face with all his strength, causing Mason to double back and curse as he holds his nose with both hands for a second. A moment later Gerard feels two pairs of strong arms pulling him back, restraining him, and he’s fucking seething with rage, breathing heavily and feeling like he’s literally foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog. Frank is still lying on the floor, crying and still holding his face and head in anticipation of more blows. 

“Fuck! What the fuck do I pay you two dumbasses for?” Mason shouts at the two bodyguards who are now restraining Gerard. His nose is bloody and he wipes it with the back of his hand before winding up and kicking Frank hard in the ribs a few more times, making the kid groan and cry out in pain. 

“Fuck you,” Gerard spits, rage coursing through his veins as he glares at Mason. 

“You—“ Mason says, gesturing towards Trevor with a wave of his gun. “Tie him up and lie him on his back,” he says, looking down at Frank’s crumpled body with disgust.

Trevor silently grabs some dead electrical wires that have been put aside and carefully rolls Frank onto his stomach before restraining his arms behind his back and tying his wrists together. Frank can barely even breathe with the amount of pain he’s in right now—he’s sure Mason had cracked a few of his ribs when he was kicking the shit out of him, or at least badly bruised them.

As Mason goes back over to Gerard who’s still being held back by the two bodyguards, Trevor leans over and whispers in Frank’s ear as he’s loosely tying up the kid’s wrists. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to either of you. Just hang tight; I got you guys,” Trevor says. 

Frank honestly doesn’t know if he should even trust Trevor at this point, but right now he’s taking all the comfort he can get and believing that Trevor is going to somehow try and get them out of this mess is making him feel a sliver of hope in this darkness. Trevor finishes tying Frank’s wrists a minute later and then he stands up again after rolling Frank onto his back like Mason had asked. 

Mason tells the two guards to let go of Gerard and then he puts Gerard into a chokehold with the barrel of his gun jammed uncomfortably hard up against his jugular artery. “Now, we’re gonna play a little game...” Mason says.

“Fuck your game and fuck you,” Gerard says through gritted teeth.

“Put his gun in his hand,” Mason firmly orders the taller bodyguard, who fishes Gerard’s M&P out of his coat and hands it to Gerard. “Point it at Frank,” he commands Gerard once the contract killer is holding the gun. Gerard doesn’t move, refusing to point the gun at Frank. “ _Do it_ ,” Mason says menacingly, jamming the gun even harder against Gerard’s neck, restricting his windpipe slightly and making it harder for him to breathe. 

Gerard reluctantly raises the gun and points it down at Frank, who’s lying there face-up on the floor shaking and crying.

“Now, I’m gonna tell you what your two options are,” Mason begins, speaking eerily calmly. “Option A: kill Frank right now and earn both my trust and your job back. Option B: I fucking kill you where you stand and Frank dies a slow and painful death. So, which is it?” Mason says, evil dripping off of his words. It sounds like there’s a smile in his voice, as though he’s enjoying this in some twisted way. 

“I didn’t kill him two weeks ago and I sure as hell am not gonna kill him now,” Gerard says through gritted teeth. His eyes begin to well up with tears as they meet Frank’s terror-filled ones which are staring down the barrel of his gun. 

Mason makes a _tsk-tsk_ sound and shakes his head. “Such a shame...” he says. “Y’know, you were probably the best hitman who’s ever worked for me—not that it matters much now.”

“Mason, you don’t have to do this... _please_...” Frank begs helplessly as he cries. “We promise we won’t ever say a fucking word about this to anyone...just let us go.”

Mason scoffs. “Probably should’a thought about having to beg for your lives before you went and spit in my face, hey?” he says. “Your word doesn’t mean shit to me, anyway, junkie.”

“Gerard...” Frank says, looking up at the man, his voice coming out hoarse from crying. “I love you,” he says. He’s cursing himself for realizing it so late, but in this moment his love for Gerard is all he can feel. Gerard had seen something in Frank that he didn’t even see in himself; he’d helped him to accept who he is, to be kinder to himself. In the short time that they’ve known each other, Gerard has impacted Frank’s life more than everyone he’s known for years. It’s not every day that you meet someone who changes your life like that and Frank just wishes so badly that things had turned out differently; that they could have had more time together. 

Gerard doesn’t care about holding back his tears anymore—he doesn’t care about keeping up the façade of being this hardened criminal anymore. He lets the tears come and he drops the gun he’s holding, letting it slide across the wooden floorboards closer to Frank’s body. “I love you too, Frankie. I’m so sorry...” he says, his voice trailing off as he sobs. Gerard’s heart is broken seeing Frank lying there, helpless. All he wants to do is untie him and hold him in his arms and for everything to be okay. This kid had somehow always managed to bring out the good in him—good that he didn’t even know he had in him. Frank is genuinely the best thing that’s ever happened to Gerard and it tears him up inside to know that he’s never gonna get to hear his laugh again, to see his smile again...

“Well, isn’t this fucking sweet,” Mason chuckles sarcastically. “Any last words, Gerard?” he asks.

Gerard feels an odd sense of calmness washing over him as he accepts his fate. “See you in hell, motherfucker,” he says to Mason before closing his eyes and waiting for everything to go black...

Just as Mason is about to pull the trigger and end Gerard’s shit, Trevor lunges forward, grabs Gerard’s gun from off the floor and shoots Mason in the thigh, causing him to let go of Gerard and drop his gun as he cries out in agony. Gerard immediately dives to pick up Mason’s gun while Trevor begins to exchange gunfire with the two bodyguards. The irony smell of blood is overwhelming as it oozes from Mason’s gunshot wound. 

“Fucking traitor!” Mason screams at Trevor as his cousin continues to shoot at the two bodyguards. “I should have fucking killed you on the pier that night in Chicago!” 

“Frankie, stay down!” Gerard orders in a booming voice. “Try and crawl behind the couch if you can, but _stay the fuck down_!” he yells.

Frank is just lying there on the floor, stunned as bullets fly through the air above him, the blasts feeling like they’re piercing his eardrums and sending to him into a panic each time they go off. He’s way too terrified to move and so he just lies there in the middle of the gunfight, shell-shocked by what’s happening around him.

Gerard notices that Trevor has a bleeding gunshot wound to his abdomen but he’s still shooting at the shorter bodyguard—the taller one is lying crumpled up and lifeless on the floor as dark red blood begins to pool around his body. Gerard aims for the man’s head just as the man pulls the trigger, sending searing pain through Gerard’s left shoulder where the bullet had entered. 

“Agh, _fuck_!” Gerard yells, wincing from the intense pain. He aims at the man’s head again and shoots him dead-on, sending him toppling down instantly with waves of crimson red oozing from the bullet-sized hole in his forehead. 

“Gerard!” Frank calls out worriedly after seeing the man take a bullet to what looked like the chest from the angle he was looking on from. “Are you okay?”

“I’m good—are you hurt?” says Gerard through gritted teeth, trying to ignore how much fucking pain he’s in right now. He looks across the room at Frank where he’s lying on the floor, making sure he’s not bleeding or anything. 

“No. I’m okay,” Frank says, looking up from where he’s lying, trying to get the electrical wires off his wrists—he feels like he’s close to getting them off and he’s thankful that Trevor hadn’t tied him up too tightly.

Gerard looks over at Trevor now and sees that he’s putting pressure on his profusely bleeding abdominal wound as he doubles over and falls to his knees. “Trev, buddy...” Gerard says concernedly, ignoring his own wound for now as he rushes over to tend to his friend. Trevor looks like he’s in terrible condition and Gerard is silently praying that he’ll pull through. “You’re gonna be okay, buddy. You fucking saved us, you know that? I owe you my life, brother; thank you,” Gerard says, not realizing he’s crying until he sees his tears falling onto Trevor’s shirt as the man lies down on the floor now. 

“G...you don’t owe me shit. You’re my brother for life, man. Now go finish off that motherfucker,” Trevor says, his breathing laboured, face as pale as a sheet as his eyes begin slipping closed.

“No, please don’t fucking leave me, Trev...please...” Gerard sobs, looking down at his friend’s now lifeless body and squeezing his hand tightly as if it will somehow bring him back. He looks up at the ceiling. “ _Fuck_!” he screams into the quietness of the room, tears still streaming down his face.

Suddenly feeling rage again, Gerard gets up and turns to Mason who he sees has taken off his shirt and tied it tightly around his leg, above his wound to slow the bleeding. He’s surrounded by a puddle of blood but it doesn’t look like Trevor had hit an artery with the gunshot wound he’d inflicted—if he had, Gerard would have just left him here to bleed out slowly.

Mason looks up at Gerard, his face looking tired. “You’re gonna make a _lot_ of enemies if you do this, Way...” he says.

“It’s nothing I can’t handle,” Gerard says unaffectedly, pointing his gun at Mason’s head. “Remember this face,” he says coldly. He pulls the trigger without warning, shooting Mason square in the forehead, sending his body to the floor with a _thud_. Blood quickly spreads out on the floor in a growing puddle of dark red around his head and Gerard spits on his corpse. 

Gerard can literally taste the iron in the air from all the fucking blood in the room. He tucks his gun into the inside pocket of his jacket and goes over to Frank who’s lying face down on the floor, struggling to untie his wrist restraints and still in a silent shock from all the murder he’s just witnessed. Gerard gets to his knees and fiddles with the wires for a minute using only his right hand until Frank is finally free. 

Frank winces from the pain in his ribs as he sits up on his knees, facing Gerard. He immediately notices that the front of Gerard’s shirt is completely saturated with blood which he hadn’t noticed before as he looked on from a distance—it’s hard to see blood on a black T-shirt. “Oh my God!” Frank exclaims, a look of concern in his eyes. “You’ve lost so much fucking blood, babe...” he says worriedly. 

“Yeah... We gotta get the fuck outta here ASAP,” says Gerard. Frank helps him up to his feet, firmly holding onto the older man’s right arm as he sways on the spot for a moment. 

“Shit... Are you feeling lightheaded?” Frank asks worriedly, thinking about how much blood Gerard has lost. 

“Yeah, a bit. I’m okay,” says Gerard, though he definitely doesn’t feel okay right now: he’s sweating profusely and he’s feeling dizzy, headachy, fatigued and like he’s about to fucking vomit. Despite having all of these early signs and symptoms of hypovolemic shock, right now Gerard is only focused on cleaning up this scene and getting the fuck out of here before anyone else shows up. “I’m gonna need you to pick up all the casings for me. I’ll get our other gun back out of that guy’s coat—we can’t leave any prints behind for the cops to find.”

Frank nods, thinking he would have never even thought of doing that. It’s pretty obvious to him that Gerard has been a part of more than a few murder scenes in his life. Frank begins to search the floor, picking up all the bullet casings he can find while Gerard collects their second gun from the dead bodyguard’s coat. Gerard has another bright thought to take Trevor’s hotel keycard out from the pocket of his jeans—he’s not gonna make it easy for the cops to figure this one out. 

“You got ‘em all?” Gerard asks, his voice sounding weak now as he watches Frank’s eyes still searching the floor. The front pockets of the kid’s jeans are looking bulky with the amount of casings he’s collected. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I did—I don’t see any more...” Frank says, looking up at Gerard now.

“Good. Let’s get the fuck outta here,” says Gerard. 

The two of them leave the room, stepping over one of the guard’s bodies in the doorway as they do, and they make their way back up the staircase and out the front doors of the bar. Gerard is barely able to stand up at this point and as soon as they get to the truck he stumbles in and collapses onto the backseat.

With the adrenaline from the gunfight just about worn off now, Gerard is realizing exactly how poor his condition is. Frank is nearly panicking as he gets into the truck after Gerard, seeing the man looking all pale and soaked in sweat and blood. Gerard instructs Frank to start the truck’s engine and drive them out of this parking lot so that at least they’ll be away from the murder scene in case anyone else shows up here. Frank has never driven a vehicle this large before and he’s fucking terrified, but he manages to safely drive them to a quiet area on a side-street about ten minutes away from the bar and parks the car along the curb.

“I need you back here now,” Gerard says once the engine is off, sounding somewhat desperate.

Frank winces, feeling aching pain in his ribs as he quickly climbs over the drink holder between the two front seats until he’s kneeling on the floor of the truck in front of the backseat. He’s worried sick by how ill Gerard looks right now. “You’re fucking pouring sweat, babe...should I take your jacket off?” he asks.

“No—it’s important that I keep my body warm...” Gerard says, wincing as he shifts his position on the seat so that his legs are elevated with his feet propped up against the side window as he lies across the back seat. “Pressure, Frankie...I need you to apply pressure—use your hoodie so you don’t get blood on your hands,” he manages to get out, his voice sounding strangled from pain as he speaks through gritted teeth. He’s trying not to close his eyes because he’s legitimately afraid that he won’t be able to open them again if he does. 

Frank quickly takes off his black hoodie and folds it over itself twice, his heart racing the entire time. His hands are trembling as he presses down hard on Gerard’s left shoulder, feeling the moist squish of blood as he applies pressure to the wound with the folded piece of clothing. 

“ _Fuck_...” Gerard groans, wincing from the pain of his wound being compressed and feeling like he might pass out from it.

“I’m so sorry...” Frank says, looking down at Gerard’s pained expression and feeling terrible that he’s causing him to hurt even more. His ribs are fucking killing him right now in the position he’s in, but he forces himself to keep applying firm pressure to Gerard’s wound through his own pain, determined to keep the man alive.

“It’s okay, it’s okay...” Gerard assures him, taking a deep breath. “You’re doing such a good job, baby,” he says, noticing the kid’s scared expression and trying to give him a much-needed confidence boost.

“We need to get you to a hospital,” Frank says, nervously chewing on the inside of his bottom lip. 

“Fuck a hospital,” Gerard says firmly. “Hospital equals jail—they’re required to report all gunshot wounds to the police.”

“Oh, right...” Frank says sadly, trying not to let on that he had no idea that was even a thing.

“I’ll be okay once the bleeding is controlled,” Gerard says, trying to reassure both Frank and himself.

“Yeah,” Frank says, nodding in agreement as he looks down at Gerard’s pale, clammy face; his hair is sticking to his forehead and his eyes keep starting to slip closed and Frank can tell that Gerard is fighting to keep them open. “You’ll be okay,” he says comfortingly, trying to smile a little. He _has_ to be okay—Frank doesn’t even want to think about the possibility of losing Gerard.

Gerard looks up at Frank’s small smile in awe, as if he’s gazing up at an angel of light. “Did you mean it?” he asks dreamily.

Somehow, Frank knows exactly what Gerard is talking about when he says it and he smiles a little more. “Of course I meant it,” he says sincerely. 

Gerard feels a gentle tug at the corners of his mouth as he begins to smile. “Tell me again?” he asks, gently brushing the fingertips of his right hand along the length of Frank’s left forearm. 

Frank smiles even wider, feeling his eyes begin to sting with tears as he looks down at Gerard, into his tired eyes. “I love you,” he says.

Gerard lets out a soft little sigh. “I love you, too, baby,” he says before finally letting his eyes slip closed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there will be a part II! Thank you so much to everyone who has read and commented and/or given kudos on this story.
> 
> I also want to say a big thank you to my best friend, [10rings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/10rings/pseuds/10rings), who came up with the amazing idea for the premise of this story! I took her idea and ran with it and now it has turned into the fic that I’m most proud of writing. We make the best team! <3
> 
> You may have noticed that there were a bunch of references to My Chemical Romance and other bands‘/artists’ songs throughout this part and I’ve created a playlist of all the references (in order) which you can find below. Enjoy! 
> 
> _Kill, Smile: Part I_ Playlist 
> 
> 1\. “Teenagers” - My Chemical Romance (Chapter 2)
> 
> 2\. “I Never Told You What I Do for a Living” - My Chemical Romance (Chapter 2)
> 
> 3\. “Where Are My Fucking Pills?” - Death Spells (Chapter 3)
> 
> 4\. “S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W” - My Chemical Romance (Chapter 5)
> 
> 5\. “Noise and Kisses” - The Used (Chapter 5)
> 
> 6\. “Jack the Ripper” - My Chemical Romance (originally by The Smiths) (Chapter 5)
> 
> 7\. “Cemetery Drive” - My Chemical Romance (Chapter 5)
> 
> 8\. “AMBULANCE” - My Chemical Romance (Chapter 5)
> 
> 9\. “Hate Me” - Lil Peep (Chapter 7)
> 
> 10\. “This Is How I Disappear” - My Chemical Romance (Chapter 8)
> 
> 11\. “Vampires Will Never Hurt You” - My Chemical Romance (Chapter 11)
> 
> 12\. “The Static Age” - Green Day (Chapter 11)
> 
> 13\. “The Kids from Yesterday” - My Chemical Romance (Chapter 12)
> 
> 14\. “You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison” - My Chemical Romance (Chapter 12)
> 
> 15\. “Murder Was the Case That They Gave Me” - Leathermouth (Chapter 12)
> 
> 16\. “Sunsets Are for Muggings” - Leathermouth (Chapter 12)


End file.
